death

Yesterday I found out around lunch time that a friend's dad had died. They started the day as normal and as he was getting ready for work, an artery in his heart erupted and he died. He just fell over in the bathroom. My friend Alba was the only other person home, so she called the ambulance and found out what had happened, her dad had died.

As is Spanish tradition, close friends came over and spent the next few hours with them, and then headed to the funeral parlor for an open wake that lasts until the funeral the next day. Alba had been studying for the remaining four finals she had at school (high school) yesterday and today. Obviously she didn't take any of them and it was a nightmare of a day for her and her mom. When I saw them at the wake, they were in complete shock.

It is just now hitting me, the finiteness of life on this earth. Death comes when it comes, sometimes coming over the course of weeks or months or years of suffering (like my grandpa), sometimes it comes quietly in the night (like with my great-grandma), and sometimes it comes fiercely in the midst of normal life to someone we expect is fine. We have no control over death, God does, but we don't. It is a horrible, horrible thing.

Now I am sitting here, using this blog to process a bit. I know that God is in control and I am fairly confident that Alba's dad is in heaven now, with no pain, with no tears, with full life. He was a godly man who walked closely with Jesus and who had accepted Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for his redemption. I know all this in my head. But what I feel now is great sorrow, for Alba and her mom and for all this means for their lives here now. Alba is about 16. She is now without a dad here on earth. Her mom is probably in her 40s and now is widowed. I trust that God will walk with them both through this and in the days and months and years to come, but I also know that it will be a hard, painful road.

A couple songs just came on my itunes, that I love and that helps me to both remember that God is loving, kind, and in control and that, while I really don't understand nor like this, that He is still God and I trust Him. The lyrics are here below. Hmmm... God is so good to both be very near and active in our lives.

"Cristo, yo te amo"

//Cristo yo te amo
Cristo yo te amo
No hay nadie como tu....
Jesús//

Y no se donde estuviera
Si yo a ti no te tuviera
Si no hubiera conocido
Al Dios que me ama
Cristo yo te Amo...

final:
//al Dios que me ama//

"Perfume a tus pies"

Cuando pienso en tu amor y en tu fidelidad
no puedo hacer mas que postrarme y adorar
y cuando pienso en como he sido
y hasta donde me has traido
me asombro de ti

no me quiero conformar
he probado y quiero mas

yo quiero enamorarme mas de ti
enseñame a amarte y a vivir
conforme a tu justicia y tu verdad
con mi vida quiero adorar
todo lo que tengo y lo que soy
todo lo que he sido te lo doy
que mi vida sea para ti
como un perfume a tus pies

Cuando pienso en tu cruz
y en todo lo que has dado
tu sangre por mi
por borrar mi pecado
y cuando pienso en tu mano
hasta aqui hemos llegado
por tu fidelidad

no me quiero conformar
he probado y quiero mas

yo quiero enamorarme mas de ti
enseñame a amarte y a vivir
conforme a tu justicia y tu verdad
con mi vida quiero adorar
todo lo que tengo y lo que soy
todo lo que he sido te lo doy
que mi vida sea para ti
como un perfume a tus pies