Free Rice

http://www.freerice.com/


I just recently found this webpage where you match words with their synonym, kind of like the SAT/ACT if I remember correctly. Anyway, every answer you get right you give 20 grains of rice through the UN. It may not be a ton, but with everyone playing the game now and then it puts a drop in the bucket. And it's kind of a fun little game. Check it out.

brothers... my brother

My brother Drew recently came to visit. It had been a year and a half since I last had seen him and he came to visit for about a week. It definitely took a bit of adjusting, but it was the best possible present someone could have gotten me. And he came at one of the strangest times of the year for me, after Christmas, but while students are busy studying for finals, so all the more it was both timely and a huge blessing.

What I appreciate about my brother, to name a few things, are that he knows me from the time he was born until now, toda la vida. which is really nice particularly considering that no one (who knows me well) in Spain has known me for more than two and a half years and some of them just the past year. Secondly, because Drew is my brother he is able to both say things that mean the world to me (like that he is proud of me or really impressed by something) and that have much insight into my life. The downside is that I can also assume that he understands me at any given moment better than he actually does and that I can both be meaner to and more easily irritated by him than to/by virtually anyone else.

One of the good things about this visit (in addition to learning a TON about Spanish wines (unbeknownst to me my brother is REALLY a Spanish wine expert, even though according to him he knows a lot less about Spanish wine than other types) and exploring some really fun places to watch jazz, flamenco, and eat great food), was that I was reminded of who I am, who I am independent of a hard year and independent of my surroundings and circumstances. There is something about someone who has known you your whole life and who cares about you, at least for me, that reminds me of both good moments and things God has done in my life, powerful things.

Ausencias / Missing

I recently (with my brother) went to an exposition at the Casa America Museum called "Ausencias" or "Missing, or Absent, People." It showed pictures during the dictatorship in the mid to late 70s and then the same people several years later, with the absence of those now missing. Pictures always speak louder than words, but to see a woman now missing her husband, a daughter missing both parents, a couple both missing, half of a group of friends, and various others MISSING. Some they know were killed. They were against the dictatorship, spoke against it and were killed. But others just disappeared. They don't know for sure what happened. They just went missing one day and never again appeared. And unfortunately in Argentina, Chile and other countries this was not all that uncommon. And, unfortunately it is not merely a thing of the past. Here are a few of the pictures I took of the exposition, including a list of the names of the missing.


It reads, "The Detained, Disappearances, Assassinated of Argentina - 1976-1983"









Here are some song lyrics. Maná and a woman who sings a similar song, but which I can't think of the name of her nor her song, were in the video also at the exposition which showed the photographer taking the various photos and showed the town this all took place in and various, astoundingly high facts and numbers of the disappearances. The others I just found as I searched for the mysterious woman latin singer of whose name I can't think.

Maná - "Desapariciones" - Album: MTV Unplugged, 1999

Que alguien me diga si han visto a mi esposo preguntaba la Doña
("Can someone tell me where my husband is?" asked the woman)
Se llama Ernesto X, tiene cuarenta años
(His name is Ernesto X, he is 40 years old)
Trabaja de celador, en un negocio de carros
(He works as a car salesman)
Llevaba camisa oscura y pantalón claro
(He was wearing a dark shirt and light pants.)
Salió anoche y no ha regresado y no sé ya qué pensar
(He left last night and hasn't returned and I don't know what to think)
Pues esto, antes no me había pasado
(This has never happened before)
ooo...

Llevo tres días buscando a mi hermana
(I've been looking for my sister for 3 days)
Se llama Altagracia igual que la abuela
(Her name is Altagracia/Much Grace the same as grandma)
Salió del trabajo pa´ la escuela
(She left from work for school)
Llevaba unos Jeans y una camisa clara
(She wore jeans and a light colored shirt)
No ha sido el novio, el tipo está en su casa
(She's not with her boyfriend because he's at home)
No saben de ella en la PSN ni en el hospital
(Neither the police nor the hospital know where she is)
ooo....

Que alguien me diga si han visto a mi hijo
(Has anyone seen my son?)
Es estudiante de pre-medicina
(He's a premed student)
Se llama Agustín y es un buen muchacho
(He's named Agustin and is a great kid)
A veces es terco cuando opina
(Sometimes he can be hard-headed)
Lo han detenido, no sé qué fuerza
(They arrested him, but I don't know what has happened)
Pantalón claro, camisa a rayas
(He wore light pants and a striped shirt)
Pasó anteayer
(It happened the day before yesterday)

A dónde van los desaparecidos
(Where do the missing go?)
Busca en el agua y en los matorrales
(Look in the water and in the brushwood)
Y por qué es que se desaparecen
(And why is it that they go missing?)
Por qué no todos somos iguales
(Why are we not all equal?)
Y cuándo vuelve el desaparacido
(And when will the missing return?)
Cada ves que lo trae el pensamiento
(Every time that the thought comes up)
Cómo se le habla al desaparecido
(How does one talk about the missing)
Con la emoción apretando por dentro
(With the emotion pushed down inside)
oh.......

Clara, Clara, Clara Quiñones se llama mi madre
(My mom is named Clara, Clara, Clara Quiñones)
Ella es, ella es un alma de Dios
(She is, she has a heart of gold)
No se mete con nadie
(She gets along well with everyone)
Y se la han llevado de testigo
(And she went to be a witness)
Por un asunto que es nada más conmigo
(For that reason she no longer is with me)
Y fue a entregarme hoy por la tarde
(I went this afternoon to see her)
Y ahora dicen que no saben quién se la llevó del cuartel
(And now they say that they don't know who took her from court)

Anoche escuché varias explociones
(Last night I heard various explosions)
Patún pata patún pete
(sounds of a gun)
Tiro de escopeta y de revolver
(There were shots from a gun)
Carros acelerados frenos gritos
(Cars excelerating, breaks screeching)
Eco de botas en la calle
(The sound of boots on the streets)
Toque de puertas por dioses platos rotos
(Banging on doors, breaking plates)
Estaban dando la telenovela
(The soap opera was on)
Por eso nadie miró pa’fuera
(So no one looked outside)

A dónde van los desaparecidos
(Where do the missing go?)
Busca en el agua y en los matorrales
(Look in the water and in the brushwood)
Y por qué es que se desaparecen
(And why is it that they go missing?)
Por qué no todos somos iguales
(Why are we not all equal?)
Y cuándo vuelve el desaparacido
(And when will the missing return?)
Cada ves que lo trae el pensamiento
(Every time that the thought comes up)
Cómo se le habla al desaparecido
(How does one talk about the missing)
Con la emoción apretando por dentro
(With the emotion pushed down inside)
----
"Mothers Of The Disappeared" - U2 - Album: The Joshua Tree

Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

Night hangs like a prisoner
Stretched over black and blue
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the trees our sons stand naked
Through the walls our daughters cry
See their tears in the rainfall
---

"They Dance Alone (Gueca Solo)" - Sting

Why are these women here dancing on their own?
Why is there this sadness in their eyes?
Why are the soldiers here
Their faces fixed like stone?
I can't see what it is they despise
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone
It's the only form of protest they're allowed
I've seen their silent faces scream so loud
If they were to speak these words
they'd go missing too
Another woman on the torture table
what else can they do
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone

One day we'll dance on their graves
One day we'll sing our freedom
One day we'll laugh in our joy
And we'll dance
One day we'll dance on their graves
One day we'll sing our freedom
One day we'll laugh in our joy
And we'll dance

Ellas danzan con los desaparecidos
Ellas danzan con los muertos
Ellas danzan con amores invisibles
Ellas danzan con silenciosa angistia
Danzan con sus padres
Danzan con sus hijos
Danzan con sus esposos
Ellas danzan solas
Danzan solas

Hey Mr. Pinochet
You've sown a bitter crop
It's foreign money that supports you
One day the money's going to stop
No wages for your torturers
No budget for your guns
Can you think of your own mother
Dancin' with her invisible son
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone

Little Brown Vial of Heathy Goodness

So, my brother was here for about a week, which included us going out quite a bit and being up until the wee hours of the morning watching jazz, flamenco, wine-tasting, tapeando (eating tapas), and hanging out with friends. It was definitely a fun time, but it left my immune system a bit spent and now I have something that seems like the flu, strep throat, something like that. And, while I was excited to have my mornings back to normal to return to a normal running schedule, instead I am exhausted, achy and lethargic.

So, today went to the the health food store / natural pharmacy a few blocks away to get what seems to me to be a "magic" and miracle potion to get my immune system back to normal. It all began last year when I found myself with the flu on and off for weeks (and instead of getting better it kept getting worse and returning with a horrible vengeance). After a few days of not getting better with huge quantities of orange juice, soup, water, sleep, vitamin C, and echanacea/goldenseal, I went to the doctor who proceeded to tell me that I had faranguitis/phranguitis (which by the way sounds horrible, even if i do know what the faranguis are (i can't remember the name in english, but they are in your throat; it sounds really bad, which since I felt horrible, actually made me feel a bit better - that it wasn't all just in my head). So he gave me an antibiotic, told me to take 1 gram of basically Tylenol (which by the way is a TON of pain killer and left me a bit in the clouds), gave me some horrible sounding syrup (it had something about phlegm in the name, gross), and sent me on my way. So, I took the medicine, minus the pain killer and it went away. Despite eating extra amounts of yogurt it left me with a yeast infection (sorry for the gross details). After getting rid of that, a few days later the whole cycle started over and then one more time. Normally I take the natural option of herbs, vitamins and just wading it out, but since it seemed like something more serious I had gone to the doctor not wanting it to get worse. Yet that didn't work. So, I then went in search of a health food store that might be able to "prescribe" something to boost my immune system and wipe out this sickness.

So I entered a health food store that said "natural medicine" on the outside. I explained the problem and the pharmacist told me that what I needed was vials of minerals (including gold, silver, and copper), bee propolis and herbs plus capsules of a mix of mushrooms. Now I know a decent amount about health food. (I worked at a health food store the last two years in high school and summers and holidays throughout college. I had planned to get both my MD and some sort of natural medicine degree, so through high school and college I read fairly extensively about vitamins, herbs, etc.,) Yet when I asked this woman what was in these secret vials that would cure my sickness, I didn't get a response that was very helpful. I was a bit leery (I mean there were 20 vials I was supposed to take, plus the somewhat strange sounding list of ingredients, and the fact that the woman was abnormally tan, bleach blond, and had excessive amounts of makeup didn't help), but I also was a bit desperate at this point, so I paid the 20 Euros for the vials and went on my way.

A couple of days later I felt completely back to normal. I took the box of vials she gave me and one more to make sure it was knocked out. From then on whenever I have gotten sick I go to this lady who gives me a box of seemingly magical vials of gold and silver, I take them and almost immediately am cured. Really. And with no strange side effects. I really don't understand, but since it's natural it's what I've begun to do. I mean it really seems magical. Within a day or so of taking this magical concoction I feel back to normal. So today I went, got my magical medicine and am beginning to feel much better.

I just got these e-mails in the midst of thinking about Faith, God's Greatness, His Forgiveness, etc. They really are profound truths. Enjoy! Disfrutad! I think that even if you don't understand the Spanish that you can at least get the reference to look them up. Basically the books below (Génesis = Genesis, Mateo = Matthew, etc., ) look more the less the same in Spanish as English minus Salmo, which is the Psalms. (Actually I just added the English because if you are like me, you may not take the time to look them all up. Disfrutad! Enjoy!)

---

God is with us (DIOS ESTÁ CON NOSOTROS)

"And the LORD appeared to him the same night and said, 'I am the Go d of Abraham your father. Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you...'" - Genesis 26:24

("... Yo soy el Dios de Abraham tu padre; no temas, porque yo estoy contigo..." - Génesis 26:24)

"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." - Deuteronomy 31:8

("Y Jehová va delante de ti; Él estará contigo, no te dejará, ni te desamparará; no temas ni te intimides." - Deuteronomio 31:8)

"If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!" - Psalm 139:8

("Si subiere a los cielos, allí estás tu; y si en el seol hiciere mi estrado, he aquí, allí tu estás." - Salmo 139:8)

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you." - Isaiah 43:2

("Cuando pases por las aguas, yo estaré contigo; y si por los ríos, no te anegarán." - Isaias 43:2)

"... And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

("...y he aquí yo estoy con vosotros todos los días, hasta el fin del mundo." - Mateo 28:20)

---

The Holiness of God (LA SANTIDAD DE DIOS)

"There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God." 1 Samuel 2:2

("No hay Santo como Jehová; Porque no hay ninguno fuera de ti, Y no hay refugio como el Dios nuestro." 1ª Samuel 2:2

"Exalt the LORD our God; worship [bow down] at his footstool [before him]! Holy is he!" Psalm 99:5

("Exaltad a Jehová nuestro Dios, Y postraos ante el estrado de sus pies; Él es Santo." Salmo 99:5)

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" Isaiah 6:3

("Santo, Santo, Santo, Jehová de los ejércitos; toda la tierra está llena de su gloria." Isaias 6:3)

"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness." Psalm 29:2

(" Dad a Jehová la gloria debida a su nombre; Adorad a Jehová en la hermosura de la santidad." Salmo 29:2)

---

The Greatness of God (LA GRANDEZA DE DIOS)

"For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God." - Psalm 86:10

("Porque Tu eres grande, y hacedor de maravillas; Solo Tú eres Dios" - Salmo 86:10)

"O Lord GOD, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your mighty hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as yours?" - Deuteronomy 3:24

("Señor, Tú has comenzado a mostrar a tu siervo tu grandeza, y tu mano poderosa; porque ¿qué dios hay en el cielo ni en la tierra que haga obras y proezas como las tuyas?" - Deuteronomio 3:24)

"Therefore you are great, O LORD God. For there is none like you, and there is no God besides you..." - 2 Samuel 7:22

("Por tanto, Tú te has engrandecido, Jehová Dioss; por cuanto no hay como Tú, ni hay Dios fuera de ti..." - 2ª de Samuel 7:22)

---

Only God Satisfies (SOLO DIOS SATISFACE)

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 4:7

("Y la paz de Dios, que sobre pasa todo entendimiento, guardará vuestros corazones y vuestros pensamientos en Cristo Jesús." - Filipenses 4:7)

"and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:10

("y vosotros estáis completos en Él, que es la cabeza de todo principado y potestad." - Colosenses 2:10)

"Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. LEad me in your truth and teach me, for you are the GOd of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long." - Psalm 25:4,5

("Muéstrame, oh Jehová, tus caminos; enséñame tus sendas. Encamíname en tu verdad, y enséñame, Porque Tú eres el Dios de mi salvación; En ti he esperado todo el día." - Salmo 25:4,5)

Some Good Reads

Okay, this really is the last post of the night, as I should really get some sleep.

First, here are some GREAT books you should read that have helped me think more about the world and about issues of justice and humanity:

There is No Me Without You - Melissa Fay Greene (about Ethiopia, specifically the huge number of orphans & the AIDS epidemic and about a woman (and others) who have given their lives to take care for these kids)

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossini (while a bestseller and now coming out as a movie, it is also a great book about Afghanistan & two boys growing up. definitely one of my favorite books of the year!)









And here are a couple of movies in the same vain (both are violent and definitely intense, but very good):

Blood Diamonds (if I remember right, it takes place in Sierra Leone; while Leonardo Di Caprio is in this movie, he plays a very different role before and in my opinion is the best role he has played - I'm generally not a fan of his and in fact wasn't going to see the movie because of that)

Innocent Voices (takes place in El Salvador during a war, showing child soldiers, which apparently is much more common than i'd like to believe in some of the more impoverished parts of the world) (http://www.innocentvoicesmovie.com/)

Noche Vieja (New Year's Eve) in Barcelona

This New Year's Eve was a bit different than normal. One, because I was in Barcelona. And, two, because of what we did. Generally, I have spent my New Year's Eves in Spain either at a party somewhere or in Puerta del Sol (Spain's equivalent to Times Square) and then out with friends (or last year sick in bed).

A few months ago when I was talking with Marc and Eva, the friends I would spend New Year's with, we talked about going to a beach town up the coast from Barcelona and having a little party with friends, about a few other options, and then somehow we began to talk about throwing a New Year's Eve party for the gente sin techo (the homeless people of Barcelona). And that is where we landed. After Eva talked to some of the people she knew, instead of inviting them to come somewhere (which seemed a bit improbable that they would actually come) we decided to make something better than our normal bocadillos (sandwiches). So we started the 31st at the grocery store where unlike the normal people who purchased cava/champagne, fancy pastries, some fancier foods, chocolates... we left with the makings for some noodles with broth and meatballs, san jacobo (a more simple version of cordon bleu), rice, fruit salad (aka macedonia), some individually wrapped bonbons, café con leche (coffee and milk) and all the plastic & paperware to go with it. With the help of another Eva and her mom we cooked, filled thermoses, packed little gladware packs, and set off for Plaça de Catalunya. People had also brought by some clothes, sleeping bags, and such to take as well.

So we set out. We started going down to the metro where Eva and the Existe Más Mundo folks of BCN know people. We stayed there a while and chatted it up with Eva's friends while they ate. Based on what they had we asked if they wanted some of the clothes/ sleeping bags that we had (such as for one of the women who was pregnant) and that we'd come back after we finished giving out the food.

We then went to the Renfe (train) station where there were a plethora of people. There was a guy from Peru, several men from Africa, from Morocco, other parts of South America, an older woman from Catalunya (the region of Spain in which Barcelona is situated), and several other places. We talked awhile to them and I felt a bit helpless as I talked to the older woman. Somehow more than anyone else, it breaks my heart to see elderly people who live on the street. I then talked to man from Kuwait who was living in Holland prior to coming to Spain, who knew near to no Spanish nor Catalan, who's passport and money had been stolen and who was stuck trying to find work and a way home. He talked about coming from a very wealthy family and it seemed really needed someone to talk with (and someone who spoke english). He was ashamed to be living on the street and more than anything else I just tried to listen and to help him think through some realistic options of getting back on his feet. Do pray for them. Our purpose for being there was primarily to show them that someone cares and do what we could. There are shelters and agencies both in Madrid and Barcelona which are more equipped to help them more substantially.

We were now out of food and, as we headed back to the car, we realized they had closed the metro stop we had been at previously due to New Year's Eve festivities. We tried to make our way down anyway or to find our friends in the crowd, but to no avail. Since we had yet to eat and it was nearing 11 pm (not really that late of a dinner for here - generally we eat at 9 or 10) and since we had none of the food remaining, we went to look for something to eat. Being Noche Vieja the menu of the night at nearly everywhere cost between 60 and 90 Euros (roughly $80-130, and I'm sure they went up from there). We walked around awhile, joked about buying a cooked turkey available for carryout for a mere 140 Euros, and finally stumbled upon a place called "Sandwhich & Friends." They had sandwiches, salads and wraps for 5-7 Euros. More what we were looking for this night. We waited in the queue for awhile and then enjoyed our food and company. The clock struck twelve and the camarreros (the waiters) and the other patrons began to make the rounds from to wish everyone a "Feliz Año" (or whatever the equivalent is in Catalán) along with besitos (two kisses). It was fun.

We went from there in search of the fireworks and festivities, but seemed to always be going the wrong direction (even though I was with people from Barcelona, who had lived their whole lives there - a bit comical). We came upon this sweet old 75 year old woman, who also lived on the street. We didn't have anything to give her at this point, but stopped to talk for awhile. She was Spanish, from La Coruña, so we talked about the great food of her region (Galicia), the beautiful views, about our lives, life and death, God, the church... She said that she always found a well lit street to spend the night on a park bench. She doesn't sleep at night because it isn't safe, but waits until the sun comes up (which is when there is a shelter she can spend the day at, get a shower, get something to eat, and relax a bit). From there we went home and while exhausted, talked for a bit longer. It was a good night. Hopefully, the Lord used our little bits of food, words, hot soup, coffee, and company to minister to these people and to give them some of the ánimo they need to take steps forward. Additionally, I know that he used it in my life to help me to think more and pray more for these people who live right around the corner from where I live (or people like them).

New Year's Resolutions

So, as we were sitting in "Sandwiches & Friends" (that was really the name) in Barcelona and as the clock began to near midnight, someone at our table asked what our wish for the New Year was. At first, to be honest, I thought it was a cheesy question, but in hindsight it got me thinking and for one of the few years I actually have a few "new year's resolutions" (Since I greatly dislike both clichés and cheesiness, I don't like to dub them "new year's resolutions." But since that is what they are, I leave the title.) and noche vieja (new year's eve) wishes.

(1) To really build a campus ministry that is self-sustaining, healthy, growing, and that really is reflecting Jesus to the campuses, students, and broader city of Madrid. (In process)

(2) To get back into good running shape so that I can run another marathon this year (and improve my time - i'd love to do it in the 3 hours that a friend did). It kind of goes without saying, but with this to run pretty much daily. (Also in process)

(3) Hmm... I know I had a third one, but can't think of it right now. Not a good sign... Okay, just found the list. There are several others...

(3) To grow in compassion, in prayer, in sharing my faith, and in loving people

and the "others" are more specifics on the above 3, more or less. (And a silly, but helpful one, is to try to read one book at a time, so I actually finish them, instead of the 4-10 I have been trying to read simultaneously, sometimes successfully and sometimes getting halfway through all of them and finishing near to none of them.)

Randomness & Blogging

So it seems like I'm kind of going to town on the blogging tonight. I've had a kind of intense evening, so it's nice to just type about nothingness or at least light subjects. I can't promise that I will keep this up, but for tonight you have some of my random thoughts.

Okay, while I am up and wide awake (despite it now being 2:31 am, and yes I do have to get up at a decent hour in the morning) I might as well write at least 2 more little posts -- New Year's Resolutions, how I spent my New Year's Eve and maybe after that some more serious thoughts about my life these days.

I love Madrid!

Okay, so today I was walking home from where I switch from the bus to metro on the way home from church. It drops me off at Avenida de América, right by where I used to live. I haven't walked home from there in awhile, but felt like venturing through the ritzy part of time (which has gorgeous architecture, fun shops to peak into, plenty of people, and just familiar madrid sites).

As I was walking, I was reminded of some of the things I love about this city. Incredible café solo (espresso) or a nice cappichino con soja (soy cappichino) - both of which I had at some point today... People who just stroll down the street on Sundays or in the Evenings... Beautifully blue skies... Great and clean (except for the recent cleaning strike) public transportation... Free books that come with the Sunday paper (today's was about JFK thanks to El Mundo)... Plaza de Colón (aka Columbus Square) - a square close to where I live and close to where I catch the train to go to the outlying pueblos/towns... Amazing Architecture that never seems to end - I nearly always find at least something I've never noticed before... Great balconies & rod iron benches on the street... Great tile sidewalks... Cute kids decked out to just walk around town... Running up and down stairs (in the metro mainly and even though I really am not in a hurry -- secretly (but of course without them knowing) I just like to beat everyone else)... Did I say the architecture? (which somehow makes me want to sketch)... The great places to run around Madrid (besides the metro) - the park by my house, Retiro Park (the Central Park of Madrid)... I could go on... but will stop there for now :-)

"BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND..."

Gosh... I wish I actually lived according to that quote. I really do, but as was evidenced tonight, I am very much still in process and learning to be just fine with who I am and how I feel.