lavender tea... pure joy

one of the things my sister got me for christmas was lavender tea. when i went to visit last year to columbus, we went to the coolest tea shop ever and had the most incredible tea. she got a lavender latté and then later bought me the tea. it's one of the things that makes me happy, just smelling it and having it. part of it is the memory and that it's from my sister, who i love. but part of it really is the tea and the lavender. it just smells and tastes SOOOOO good. and it also is calming, since it's lavender. :-) happiness! and so nice in the midst of change and transition.

the unknowns of life

be forewarned, this is definitely processing at its finest, or not so finest nor thought through. it's just pure thoughts as they come out. just to forewarn you:

some dear friends of mine left this morning for the states. they've been here the past 2.5 yrs and have become dear friends and trusted colleagues. they have a one and a half year old who was born here and they're going home to go back to seminary (for a phd) and to figure out what is next.

i'm so grateful to have gotten to know them and also grateful to have been blessed by them in countless ways. yet as i sit here, granted exhausted (which is why i'm taking a little "siesta" of sorts) and granted emotional, i'm a little introspective. in two weeks i'll turn 34, which somehow seems to be a big year. i mean, it's a year before 35 and 35 seems way too old for me to be. ever. particularly being kid-less and husband-less. i mean, 90+ percent of my life i'm next to fully content with being single and i actually LOVE my life, just the way it is. and i'm not by any means just enduring it. in many, many ways i'm thankful that i've had time to be here and to do a lot of things that i probably wouldn't have had time to do nor freedom and flexibility to do if i were married with kids. that said, 34? i mean, if i want kids, now is the time, no? and right now i think i could be ready. and i think i'm willing and desirous of that life. it's kind of a hard thing, and i guess in some ways good that you don't have it all just planned out ahead of time. i mean, i want to get married and i want to have kids, if the right guy comes along and really is THAT guy. if he doesn't, i still desire that life, but i'd rather never marry than to settle or to choose something lesser, even if that means never having kids of my own. and yet at the same time, now more than ever, i can see that that life means exchanging some of my flexibility and "freedom" for giving to others and little people, which at least today i want, the little people that is. and all this connects with my friends leaving in that they have a little person and my other friends leaving soon have two little people. and i DON'T feel like i'm wasting my life by any means, but in some ways, some little ways, i'm not sure my life has fully begun. i mean, i was thinking at the gym last night that i have probably NOT lived half of my life yet. i could get married in a year or two from now and have kids and have a whole different life than i've yet to know. crazy. or something else i have no idea about could happen. who knows... definitely not me.

so... what i actually meant to be writing about are the unknowns of life, which right now seem like a lot. the fall is a huge unknown - who will i be working with? what will my fall look like? the summer is a little unknown, but for the most part figured out, just some of the "who's" and "when's" are a bit unknown. and then the between the summer and fall is a little unknown, or at least what may or may not happen. then there are the next couple years. there is the boy situation. there is how that will play out, or not. there are the boy situations of some very very close friends... all of it unknown and way way way out of my control. i honestly don't know even how to think about it. and, thank God, that He actually remains a true constant. He doesn't shift nor change nor change his mind nor move nor step away for a time. He is FULLY and COMPLETELY present and active. no, i can't control him. no, i can't always figure him out nor understand WHY. but He's Good, really GOOD. and He love me and knows what's best for me and others. and he has a plan and a will. and He listens to me and cares and hears me. He holds me. He works in me, around me. He goes before and behind me. HE DOES know the plans ahead, whether it be the fall or the summer, or next year, or twenty or eighty or a hundred or a thousand or billion years from now. He KNOWS. and he cares. and as i've been reading a ton lately in psalm 106 & 107, he is gracious and merciful and faithful even when I am not (not that that justifies my wrong-doing, but it does give me confidence and peace that it's not all about me). i can't mess it all up. i'm not that powerful. and thank God that i'm not.

so, i've been reading about prayer recently, specifically i've been reading A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller (no relation). it's good, by no means rocket science but just real life wisdom. good stuff.

i think i had some other thoughts, that were probably much more profound than what i actually wrote. but this is me right now, just processing life, seeking to trust God and to walk by faith, taking Him at his word, trying to allow the Gospel to define my life, trying to allow God to lead me, and taking one day at a time.

sufjan stevens

i heart sufjan! his music hoy hits the spot. it's the right mix of melancholia, but hopeful, happy, mad, real, witty lyrics, good music, variety,.... i love it and it is one of the things that is helping this day turn from totally sad to somewhat happy & productive. (see the post below.)

happy thoughts

I am in a horrible mood. Some of my best friends here leave tomorrow. They've been good friends, great workmates,... They are not the only really good friends leaving... I keep on thinking, "There are people dying in the world. There are kids in horrible situations. There are natural disasters. There are things way worse going on in the world. This is NOT that big. Just get over it." And yet I still feel like poop. So, I'm making a list of happy things. (And also a list of poopy things.)

Poopy things
(1) my back, or to be precise my right shoulder blade/shoulder/upper back is killing me. it really hurts & i've already taken one 600 mg ibuprofen.
(2) i hate people leaving. i hate it. i know i tend to be the one leaving and that's not fun either, but it's way worse when you're the one staying.
(3) i have little to motivation to get things done and yet my to do list keeps growing.

Happy things
(1) lavender tea. i love lavender tea and just brewed some to help me be in a chipper mood.
(2) sufjan stevens. what i'm listening to also in the hopes of cheering up.
(3) what i see of the world isn't all that there is. The Lord IS making all things new and he WILL make all things FULLY new. This really is hopeful and DOES actually help me put things into perspective. It's the only thing that really helps.
(4) good friends who care and who are kind and who think of me and let me complain without telling me to just get over it (but then do that too, if i'm just sulking).
(5) i actually do love where i live. AND we just got a new hot water heater! for the first time in 5 years we actually have water pressure in the shower AND it's actually the right temperature. i no longer have to put a clothespin to keep the water coming out of the shower head. and i no longer have to endure scalding hot water or tepid water. this is AMAZING.
(6) the weather is beautiful! it's perfect for just about anything. the windows are open, the birds are flying and singing,... it is happy weather.
(7) i actually have time to get things done and despite my poopy list item #3, i am for the most part motivated. i just have spurts of unproductivity.
(8) lavender tea
(9) God's grace, Psalms 106 & 107 - it's not dependent on ME and God is so sweet to me and gracious to act in love when that's not what i deserve. he cares for me and loves me!
(10) the little people, aka my friends' kids. they make me happy.
(11) okay, this list is actually WAY longer than the other one!

once

I love the music from "Once" and the film itself. :-) Right now I'm listening to it in my meloncholy state of missing people who are leaving or who have already left.

grey's anatomy

i just watched this week's grey's anatomy. i love love love that show. okay, sometimes the drama is probably a bit over the top, but i love that the people are real and flawed and alive and a mess, but real. and i love the emotion of it. they're trying to figure out their way through live, how to live, how to work through their stuff, how to live, how to fill their longing for more,... and the show actually shows their dysfunction in trying to escape and such. anyway... random stuff.

nickel creek

:-)

edges lopped off

They say that when you live in another culture for awhile that you go from being a square head (the previous culture) to looking more like a rounded head (that of the new culture), but since you never are truly native, having not grown up there you look more like a stop-sign head, with edges little by little being lopped off. Some of those changes are gentle, like greetings (for instance in Spain I greet everyone with two air kisses, one on each side; it's not a hard change, just different). Other changes are felt a bit more, for instance getting used to not being so "polite." It's not that we're not polite here, but saying "please" and "thank you" and "would you..." just doesn't always translate the same way. I still say thank you, but there are other more culturally "genuine" ways. This might not be the best example, but anyway... you get my point.

This has to do with one of those easy, but for me farther down the road changes. And right now I would say that I'm past just the "trying out" phase of it, although I don't know if it's something I'll permanently incorporate into my life. Quite honestly, it will probably depend where I live. If I stay here, yes, I'll continue to do as the Spanish do, but if I move somewhere else where it's not so common, it's unlikely that I'll be able to afford it nor do I value it quite that much. What I'm talking about is waxing. Maybe a bit too much information, but it occurred to me last year that the reason that Americans tend to think that Europeans don't shave has to do with the fact that most of them don't, but they do wax. And to wax you have to let your hair grow a little bit before it can be ripped out. So, no, Spanish women don't tend to shave, but their legs and armpits are probably more hair free and smoother than most American women, at least most of the time.

So, about a year ago I made the plunge. I'd been putting it off for years, primarily because I thought it had to be horribly painful and I couldn't seem to let the hair grow out. (It grossed me out.) So last summer, I thought, I could go get waxed once and it would last the rest of the month. No more shaving. Pain is momentary and everyone I know here does it. It can't be that bad. And it costs about 10 Euros for everything I'd want. (Sorry if it's tmi.) And, yes, the first time it hurt, but not that bad. And your hair doesn't actually grow back much and it's weaker. All the stuff they told me before. And this weekend I even took it a step further. I did it myself. Now for the time, ease, and cost difference, I probably won't do it myself again until I'm visiting the States, but I've got it down. I figured out the way to rip and the way not to. And I must say that I'm pretty impressed with myself. And since in the states, what costs me 10 Euros would cost over 100, and while I'd spend less shaving, for the time being I'll probably continue to visit my local salon.

"Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God." Psalm 90:2

sooooo good

So, here's the playlist for the Dark Was the Night: Red Hot Compilation. It is SOOO good, as the teen girl squad would say. And it really is. It's what I'm loving to listen to these days. And it somehow always cheers me up. Nice.

DARK WAS THE NIGHT

THIS DISC
1 Knotty Pine – Dirty Projectors + David Byrne
2 Cello Song (Nick Drake) – The Books featuring Jose Gonzalez
3 Train Song (Vashti Bunyan recorded, written by Alasdair Clayre) – Feist + Ben Gibbard
4 Brackett, WI – Bon Iver
5 Deep Blue Sea – Grizzly Bear
6 So Far Around the Bend – The National (arrangement by Nico Muhly)
7 Tightrope – Yeasayer
8 Feeling Good (popularized by Nina Simone) – My Brightest Diamond
9 Dark Was the Night (Blind Willie Johnson) – Kronos Quartet
10 I Was Young When I Left Home (Bob Dylan) – Antony + Bryce Dessner
11 Big Red Machine – Justin Vernon + Aaron Dessner
12 Sleepless – The Decemberists
13 Stolen Houses (Die) – Iron and Wine
14 Service Bell – Grizzly Bear + Feist
15 You Are The Blood – Sufjan Stevens

THAT DISC
1 Well-Alright – Spoon
2 Lenin – Arcade Fire
3 Mimizan – Beirut
4 El Caporal – My Morning Jacket
5 Inspiration Information (Shuggie Otis) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
6 With A Girl Like You (The Troggs) – Dave Sitek
7 Blood Pt 2 (based on original song “You are the Blood” by the Castanets) – Buck 65 Remix (featuring Sufjan Stevens and Serengeti)
8 Hey, Snow White (Destroyer) – The New Pornographers
9 Gentle Hour (Snapper) – Yo La Tengo
10 Another Saturday (traditional song) – Stuart Murdoch
11 Happiness – Riceboy Sleeps
12 Amazing Grace (traditional song) – Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues
13 The Giant Of Illinois (Handsome Family) – Andrew Bird
14 Lua – Conor Oberst + Gillian Welch
15 When the Road Runs Out – Blonde Redhead + Devastations
16 Love vs. Porn – Kevin Drew

change, transition, sadness, yuck,...

So... I went running tonight after going to the gym and thought about several things, but one being that I am a bit down today. I'm primarily sad because everyone around me is sad, or so it seems, and that lately I've been seeing the cup as a little less full. One of my best friends here is moving next week, for good reasons (she's getting married soon), but I'm sad to see her go and also sad to see her in the midst of all the emotion of major life changes. I don't want her to go because I want to be there for her in the midst of these changes, not just there on the phone but PHYSICALLY there so she can come over or I can go over. And I want her to be there for me, to listen to me process, to listen to my griping, and to speak truth and wisdom to me, and to just be around. So, I'm sad. And because I'm sad I'm irritated with life and all the things that do normally do irritate me, but that I don't even hardly actually notice, they're more minor things.

The other thing I thought about is that I feel like I've been so negative and so half cup almost empty (or at least not just almost full). I like being a positive, generally happy, cheerful person who cheers others up. I like being that person. I don't like being one who tells you all the bad going on in life first. But right now with the people closest to me, the people by whom I feel listened to, really, and feel free to be a mess, I've been tending to tell all the negative of my day and all the negative of life first. I have a million and one great things happening and going on, so why do I spew the grossness out. I guess I want to be known. I guess I need people to "carry my burdens" right now, or just there to let me get things out and then somehow it's a whole lot better. Hmm... I guess it's just humanness. And I guess it's just where I am right now. Not to say that I'm really in a dark, dark cloud, just in a lightly grey one. I mean, I'm totally justifying myself unnecessarily, but I am there for those around me, I'm just not quite the cup almost full girl, I'm more the half full person. And I guess it doesn't help that I've been a little under the weather too.

Somehow it's Friday night and while part of me really wanted to go hang out with people, the other part of me wanted to just be alone, to watch Grey's Anatomy, listen to some good music, maybe journal or not think at all, to talk to some friends, but to be alone and to let myself be sad or confused or whatever it is that I'm feeling right now. So yeah, that's what I'm doing. It's so weird. Fortunate for me there were some incredible leftovers in the fridge from lunch - my roommate made some rice stuffed sea bass for a meeting we had here at lunchtime. Incredible doesn't fully do it justice. And some nice red wine goes alone quite nicely. And, yeah, somehow getting all this out helps. And somehow being alone in the midst of this to process, and yet not actually feeling alone at all, and having talked to some good friends but not about all this but that love me and somehow are also feeling a bit down, makes me feel a bit more happy. hmm... oh, and by the way, you've gotta love the Dark Was The Night: Red Hot Compilation. sooooo soooo soooo good.

the reader

I just saw the Reader again tonight and discussed it with some friends. EXCELLENT film. I've hesitated to recommend it because of the nudity at the beginning of the film, but the way it treats the subject of guilt and forgiveness, or the lack there of, is EXCELLENT. It is craftfully written, taking twists that you wouldn't expect from the beginning. It is definitely a drama and one of the best films I've seen this year. I know that's pretty brief, but I'm still thinking about it.

dark was the night

I have said it before, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Dark Was The Night Compilation. It's an excellent mix of incredible musicians, pretty much all indie stuff and oh so good!

A mighty Fortress is our God,
A Bulwark never failing;
Our Helper He amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing;
For still our ancient Foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great,
And, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God's own choosing;
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth His Name,
From age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us;
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us;
The Prince of Darkness grim,
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers,
No thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours
Through Him who with us sideth;
Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also;
The body they may kill;
God's truth abideth still,
His Kingdom is forever. Amen.

Martin Luther, 1529

mindy smith

Mindy Smith is quickly becoming someone I listen to now and again. I love her voice. It somewhat reminds me of Alison Krauss and Nickel Creek. Good stuff. But a little too depressing for me to listen to more than de vez y cuando.

lentejas & neighborliness

I've written before about my neighbor "joseph." He's an older widower who likes to cook and hunt and likes to blare his classical music and movie selections through the wall late at night. He also seems fairly intrigued by us, his "young," "cute," american neighbors. He's offered me his freshly killed pheasant, his maple syrup, and various culinary inventions. A few weeks ago he gave me some paella, sometime before he gave me some homemade paté and boquerones (I'm not sure of the english word, they're like anchovies, but a different little fish and with vinager, very yummy). Today it was lentejas, which I love. And somehow I love being cooked for. It's very neighborly. I just need to make some time to cook something that is worth sharing. I mean don't get me wrong, I do love to cook but recently I've neither had time nor been very hungry, so I have lived primarily on coffee, salads, apples & peanut butter, soy yogurt, pasta,... you know the easy to grab, semi-healthy food for one. I'm not much for baking, but I did make some mean scones not too long ago, so maybe I can whip some of those up for joseph this weekend.

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolation on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah" -- Psalm 46

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(from the Daily Office)
One thing I have asked of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to behold the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.

Who is it that you seek? We seek the Lord our God.
Do you seek Him with all your heart? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your soul? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your mind? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your strength? Amen. Christ, have mercy.

To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.
Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ, King of endless glory.


Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen

Declaration of faith - Apostle's Creed
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, the Maker of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried;
He descended into hell.
On the third day He arose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Ghost; the holy catholic church; the communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body; and the life everlasting.
Amen.

Nicene Creed

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made.

Who, for us men and for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.

And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father and the Son; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets.

And I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.


Teach us, dear Lord, to number our days; that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Oh, satisfy us early with Thy mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all of our days. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands, dear Lord.

Let nothing disturb thee,
nothing affright thee;
all things are passing,
God never changeth!
Patient endurance
attaineth to all things;
who God possesseth
in nothing is wanting;
alone God sufficeth.


Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice.
With my whole heart I want to praise You. O Lord, hear my voice.
If you, Lord, should mark iniquities: Who could stand? who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word I hope, in his word I trust;
my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities. (from Psalm 130)


Lord, You have always given bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart, today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am, today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden, today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here, today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now, today I believe.


In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

The Lord is my light, my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the refuge of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

One thing I ask of the Lord, one thing I seek;
to dwell in the presence of my God, to gaze on Your holy place.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

I believe I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. O wait for the Lord! Have courage and wait, wait for the Lord.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

bats & the bat bridge in austin

Somehow i think bats are nifty creatures. They're like birds, but cooler and they come out at night, which somehow I also think is cool.

I think I began my fascination with bats in college at Mizzou where bats come out at night and fly around the quad and Jesse Hall (the admin building). Then when I lived in Sevilla, there was a cool bridge (I think the puente de triana) that has an area where people boulder and it's the same bridge where a flock of bats can be seen at night. Macy and I would wander over there at night to pray and admire our flying friends. In Madrid too there are some bats, just a few, who fly around the park where I like to run.

So, today when my dad was talking about his recent work trip to Austin I was THRILLED to hear about the bat bridge, which someday I will have to visit.

"Every summer, a million and a half bats in Austin, Texas make themselves at home.

The Congress Avenue Bridge has become, quite accidentally, the largest urban bat colony in the world. When engineers finished its reconstruction in 1980, it turned out that the crevices underneath the bridge doubled as perfect bat housing. When Mexican free-tail bats began their yearly migration north the next spring, they moved in by the thousands.

Austin freaked. Bats have a very bad reputation, thanks in equal part to both rabies and Béla Lugosi, and people demanded that the housing be demolished. Luckily, a group by the name of Bat Conservation International made an appearance, and explained to Austinites that, minus a nasty guano habit, bats are actually both brilliant and adorable. And the ones now living in their midst eat anywhere from ten to twenty thousand pounds of insects per night.

Nowadays, the Congress Avenue Bridge brings in 100,000 tourists annually. The mostly female colony starts moving in around March, and each female gives birth to a single pup by early June. The pups mature over the next five weeks, until eventually they can leave the roost with their mothers en masse, and take Austin’s insect population by storm."

Fun, huh! And apparently my parents joined the hundreds of people there to walk the stream of bats fly out at dusk, not once but twice. I love my dad. I'm sure it was his idea. So, if you're ever in Austin, remember to check out the bat bridge, or the Congress Avenue Bridge as it's properly known.

"Uncivilized we call him, but I just saw him eat off the food we waste"

"Uncivilized we call him, but I just saw him eat off the food we waste." - "Mister Wendel," Arrested Development

So yesterday for the second day in a row I saw some people going through the trash after the grocery store had closed picking out food that was still good to take with them - lettuce, strawberries,... It's not the first time I've seen people do this but it's been a little while. Somehow their actions beg my respect. I mean I would have a hard time going through the trash looking for food unless I was really in need. But the thing that strikes me is that they're not begging for food, they're going out and finding it and using what we waste. It made me think of the Arrested Development song, "Mr. Wendel," which I've always liked although it's been years since I last heard it.

Then today as Bekah helped me take out an extra, unwanted, less than perfect bed frame for which I have no room in my city apartment, I was greeted below by some gypsies who asked if I had any metal I was throwing out. I didn't, but I LOVE that most of the time that I pitch something that could actually be of use to someone else, it often is picked up and taken home (or resold) by someone else. And again it made me think about these people who reuse what we see as waste, or unwanted.

I've always been a fan of trying to live fairly simply, not making much waste, recycling, reusing,... but I AM completely thankful that some of the waste that is fully reusable doesn't go to waste and I have a huge respect for these people who humble themselves to go through the waste of the grocery store in hope of finding perfectly good food.

Interestingly (from a anthropological perspective) in my neighborhood the only people I've seen fishing through the trash for food are South or Latin Americans. It is curious to me since there are plenty of people who beg on the street, many who are Spanish or European of some sort. And then there are the people that sell illegal stuff and bootlegged cds and dvds, who tend to be African and once in awhile South American. Most South American immigrants, however tend to work the menial jobs of caring for the elderly or children, or more blue collared work. Asians tend to set up their own dollar stores or quick shops. I know these are completely broad stereotypes, but since Spain is still fairly homogeneous, unfortunately race stereotypes tend to be generally correct (including those about Americans). As I rode the metro home the past couple days, however, I have been pleasantly surprised that these generalities were being challenged and seemingly seem to be changing. So, just to rest calmly, while these generalities are easy to make, I don't like that that is true nor do I like the fact that there is still very much a hierarchy of races in Spain. So, don't get me wrong, these are just observations.
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"Mister Wendel" Arrested Development

Go ahead, man

Here, have a dollar
In fact no, brother man, here, have two
Two dollars means a snack for me
But it means a big deal to you
Be strong, serve God only
Know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits
That's the poem I wrote for the first time
I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate
Mister Wendal, that's his name
No one ever knew his name 'cause he's a no one
Never thought twice about spending on an old bum
Until I had the chance to really get to know one
Now that I know him, to give him money isn't charity
He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes
And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges
Still most of y'all come out confused

Go ahead, Mister Wendal
Go ahead, Mister Wendal

Mister Wendal has freedom
A free that you and I think is dumb
Free to be without the worries of a quick to diss society
For Mister Wendal's a bum
His only worries are sickness and an occasional harassment
By the police and their chase
Uncivilized we call him
But I just saw him eat off the food we waste
Civilization, are we really civilized
Yes or no, who are we to judge
When thousands of innocent men could be brutally enslaved
And killed over a racist grudge
Mister Wendal has tried to warn us about our ways
But we don't hear him talk
Is it his fault when we've gone too far
And we got too far 'cause on him we walk
Mister Wendal, a man, a human in flesh
But not by law
I feed you dignity to stand with pride
Realize that all in all you stand tall

Go ahead, Mister Wendal
Mister Wendal, yeah
Yeah, Mister Wendal
Mister Wendal, yeah, Lord

Mister Wendal

Mister Wendal
Mister

"What is thy only comfort in life and death?

That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him." (from the Heidelberg Catechism)