Missing the sweets of Easter in Spain - Rosquillas... Torrijas...

Fall in Madrid

Hmm... I just bemoaned all the things I miss from the States about fall, in part because I'm a little down and in part because I just got a package from my mom, just made popcorn, am cold (because it's fall and there's not any heat until Nov), and, yeah.... SO, I'm going to make a list of the things I love about the fall in Madrid and specifically the fall, not the winter or some other season.

I DO love the beginning of the semester and all the excitement of getting things going again and seeing God at work in my life, in the lives of students, etc.,

I LOVE walking around the streets anytime of year, but the fall is nice. I did love Saturday, just two days ago, when I bought some new plants and potted them and had the windows open with the fresh, cool (but not too cool) air.

I do love making popcorn and snuggling under a blanket because it's just a little too cold. I love tea and making apple cider. I love walking through Retiro park any time of year, but the fall and spring are probably some of the best times. I need to do that more often. The fall is nice to run in because it's finally cool enough to wear pants again, really, but just a tank top or t-shirt. And I LOVE to run when it's cool out.

I don't much care for when it rains, but we haven't had much rain this year, at least not yet, nor actually do we usually.

I like that the leaves do change some, at least more than they used to (during the 2 or 3 years of drought). I like that people are around again. Summer vacations have ended, so the city is full again and life is back to normality, back in motion. I DO like fall cleaning and fall changes (or at least some of them).

Well, that's at least the beginning of a list. I do like spring more. And I am still a little down. But that's okay. It's okay for a time.

cuteness

i am sad today, but that is for another post. in my teary-eyed-ness i just called my best friend ruth and her 6 year old daughter elia just picked up. we talked briefly and then she asked if i wanted her to tell her mom that i was coming over. i said that i couldn't come over and she asked, "why not?" to which i replied, "i'm in the US at my parents' house." "what?" "well, i'll have my mom call you." "when is she going to be back, half an hour?" "i don't know, but don't worry, we'll call you." if only she knew that it's not that simple. anyway, elia's cuteness made me smile in the midst of my sadness.

edges lopped off

They say that when you live in another culture for awhile that you go from being a square head (the previous culture) to looking more like a rounded head (that of the new culture), but since you never are truly native, having not grown up there you look more like a stop-sign head, with edges little by little being lopped off. Some of those changes are gentle, like greetings (for instance in Spain I greet everyone with two air kisses, one on each side; it's not a hard change, just different). Other changes are felt a bit more, for instance getting used to not being so "polite." It's not that we're not polite here, but saying "please" and "thank you" and "would you..." just doesn't always translate the same way. I still say thank you, but there are other more culturally "genuine" ways. This might not be the best example, but anyway... you get my point.

This has to do with one of those easy, but for me farther down the road changes. And right now I would say that I'm past just the "trying out" phase of it, although I don't know if it's something I'll permanently incorporate into my life. Quite honestly, it will probably depend where I live. If I stay here, yes, I'll continue to do as the Spanish do, but if I move somewhere else where it's not so common, it's unlikely that I'll be able to afford it nor do I value it quite that much. What I'm talking about is waxing. Maybe a bit too much information, but it occurred to me last year that the reason that Americans tend to think that Europeans don't shave has to do with the fact that most of them don't, but they do wax. And to wax you have to let your hair grow a little bit before it can be ripped out. So, no, Spanish women don't tend to shave, but their legs and armpits are probably more hair free and smoother than most American women, at least most of the time.

So, about a year ago I made the plunge. I'd been putting it off for years, primarily because I thought it had to be horribly painful and I couldn't seem to let the hair grow out. (It grossed me out.) So last summer, I thought, I could go get waxed once and it would last the rest of the month. No more shaving. Pain is momentary and everyone I know here does it. It can't be that bad. And it costs about 10 Euros for everything I'd want. (Sorry if it's tmi.) And, yes, the first time it hurt, but not that bad. And your hair doesn't actually grow back much and it's weaker. All the stuff they told me before. And this weekend I even took it a step further. I did it myself. Now for the time, ease, and cost difference, I probably won't do it myself again until I'm visiting the States, but I've got it down. I figured out the way to rip and the way not to. And I must say that I'm pretty impressed with myself. And since in the states, what costs me 10 Euros would cost over 100, and while I'd spend less shaving, for the time being I'll probably continue to visit my local salon.

my amiable mechanic

Unfortunately I've had to take my car into the shop WAY too frequently in the past couple weeks. Probably because I feel a bit ignorant about cars and have heard too many stories of shady mechanics AND because it tends to cost money that I'd rather spend on other things, I'm not the hugest fan of going to the mechanic. First it was for the water pump (every time I drove it I had to fill up the antifreeze thing with water at least once or this light that said STOP would come on) and the timing belt. Then I got the car back and it was making a weird noise, which I assumed was the engine, since they had just changed the timing belt inside, but no. It was the bearings in one of the wheels. (My spanish mechanical vocabulary is quickly growing.) Way too much money, but what can you do.

I found this mechanic from my portera (the lady that cleans the apt building, gets our packages, takes care of our apt building stuff, and who also happens to be a friend) who said he was honest and such. And it just happens that his last name is AMABLE, similar to amiable or nice. And he is just that. After getting my oil changed the first time I wasn't so sure, but after the fiasco with the water pump I started to like the guy who showed me the pieces he took out and explained what had happened and why and such. Big points. And since I was going to have to replace the timing belt soon anyway, kept trying to reassure me that I had actually SAVED a ton of money in labor by doing both things together. Then I went back because of the weird noise and he went with me in the car to hear it. I loved that he actually treated me not like I was completely ignorant about car stuff.

So today I went to pick up my car and got talking to Mr. Amable. I mentioned that it seemed a lot quieter today in the shop (since i was just there yesterday when it was packed). He said that it had been a bit too quiet, in terms of work, and that it was a shame that he couldn't just leave and go to the countryside instead of waiting 'til tomorrow. I asked him where usually went and he said anywhere but then told me about this beautiful valley between Avila and Cáceres (NW from here, Madrid, i think) that is fully in bloom right now - poppies, tons of cherry trees, almond trees, other flowers,... and he described how beautiful it is and that i should check it out sometime. And it did sound amazing! Plus the fact that I love the spring and nature and pretty things. But it also made me smile because who would have thought that my mechanic would be telling me about the beauty of the pink, purple, red and white cherry trees. Only in spain. :-)

my ham!

In Spain, it's traditional that your job gives you a Christmas basket filled with wines, sausages, cheeses, sweets & turrón, and a leg of ham (or a pata de jamón).

Well, yesterday I got a call as I was driving to pick up my roommate from the airport to say that they needed to know when I'd be home so they could deliver a ham leg to me. I was estatic! I've been dreaming of getting a ham leg for a couple years now and this one was one of the best, a pata negra (black leg). They run fairly expensive but are the best ham around, cured ham that is, like proschutto. Anyway, I just googled "how to cut a jamon ibérico" which you can follow along on here. Friends are coming over for New Year's Eve and we're going to break into the JAMON!!!

Have a great New Year's Eve!!!

Christmas is time for... fireworks? and... costumes?

Okay, so this picture is definitely an exaggeration, but is what it sounds like right now outside of my apartment. I actually thought it might knock off one of my window boxes it was so loud and so close.

The reason for all the commotion is of course... CHRISTMAS! Close to my apartment there is a restaurant that is apparently the happening place to go out with friends or co-workers for a Christmas dinner. The night is then of course not over until a few fireworks are shot off, Feliz Año is shouted, and most likely there are a few more stops afterward. It is somewhat humorous to me, as there are often costumes, wigs, maybe even masks accompanying the fireworks and joyous celebration.

Technically, all of this is for the 28th of December, which is the Día de los Innocentes (or the equivalent of April Fools' Day, although technically it is to honor the innocent children that were martyred, if I have my history right, by the Moors back in the day) but in Madrid it is all of December.

So when you go to the many Christmas markets around town, you can pick up some gifts, some figurines for the Nativity Scene, or more correctly your display of the entire town of Bethlehem (generally they include Mary, Joseph, Jesus, the animals, shepherds, wise men, functioning windmills, a man making bread, running water, a guy pooping (who is about as essential as Mary, Joseph and Jesus), and a myriad of other adornments) AND tinsel hair of varying colors, colored wigs, masks (both scary and famous people), silly string, firecrackers, incense, and a Christmas tree.

some spanish news...on abortion

Photo: "Every Life Matters" protest by a million Spaniards concerning the controversial abortion bill

Recently in Spain there has much debate over the abortion laws. Most recently a new law approved by parliament and sent to senate that has been widely opposed by some. It would make the current law less strict. And there is talk of a future law that would require medical students to learn the procedure.

I personally agree with the quote below that it is not a question of politics but of humanity. In the western world we are so often concerned over the rights of animals and human rights, but the rights of an unborn child are ignored and seen as just a mass of unwanted flesh. Somehow at 22 weeks, or 8 months, I think it would be hard for anyone to deny the fact that it is a baby in the womb (particularly if it could survive outside of the womb) and yet he or she can still be aborted. And, for the argument about the woman's rights, all the women I know who have had an abortion would attest to the fact that women who abort suffer physically and psychologically and for years after the fact.

Anyway, I know this is an extremely polemic issue. Here are some snippets from new articles from this past year and below are some full articles (all from CNN, NYTimes, and BBC News).

"The current law allows terminations in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy only in cases of rape and in the first 22 weeks in cases of congenital disorder. However, a woman can abort at any time if her mental or physical health is at risk — an exception cited in about 97 percent of abortions in Spain, according to Empar Pineda, spokeswoman for the Spanish Association of Accredited Abortion Clinics."

"The new law in Spain, which the government is in the process of drafting, would make abortion available on request in the first 14 weeks, and it would allow women as young as 16 to seek one without parental consent. Also under the law, a woman could abort in the first 22 weeks in the case of congenital disorder and after that if continuing the pregnancy put her life at risk."

"“We truly cannot give in to this,” he said of the new legislation. “It is not a question of politics, it is a question of humanity.”

The Spanish Episcopal Conference has rented billboards in three dozen cities on which they displayed a protected Iberian lynx next to a crawling baby with the words, “What about me? Protect my life.”

Anti-abortion groups and conservative regional governments have joined the protest. The regional government of Valencia, led by the Popular Party, is preparing an anti-abortion law that would, among other things, promote a network of surrogate families who would take in or support single mothers-to-be.

Thousands of people in Spain and Latin America turned out on March 29 for a protest organized by HazteOir, a conservative advocacy group. The group’s president, Ignacio Arsuaga, said the government should enforce the existing law rather than loosen it.

“This government likes to say it defends women’s rights,” he said by telephone. “But women who abort suffer physically and psychologically.”

"Abortion is carried out by a medical practitioner in a public or private clinic with the express consent of the pregnant woman under the following circumstances:

1. To avoid physical or mental harm to the mother (in this case two specialists must consent to the abortion going ahead)
2. If the pregnancy is the result of rape or an act of incest that has been declared to the police. The abortion must however be carried out within the first 12 weeks.
3. If the baby is severely physically or mentally handicapped. The abortion must again take place within the first 22 weeks. In this instance two specialists from an approved health centre plus the doctor in charge must certify that the foetus will suffer from its severe defects if allowed to be born.
4. In the case of an emergency that puts the life of the mother at risk, the abortion may be carried out without the express consent of the doctor and without that of the mother.

All voluntary interruptions of pregnancy carried out in conformity with Organic Law No. 9 of 1985 must be reported to the Spanish national health authorities by the Ministry of Health of each Autonomous Community on receipt of a form filled out by the doctor performing the abortion. The woman is not required to supply her name.

If one of these four circumstances exists, the Spanish Social Security (National Health Care) will pay for the termination.""

SEVERAL NEW ARTICLES - PRESENT & PAST

Spanish Parliament approves abortion bill -By Al Goodman, CNN Madrid Bureau Chief, December 17, 2009 11:24 a.m. EST

Madrid, Spain, (CNN) -- The Spanish Parliament approved a controversial bill on Thursday to make it easier to get an abortion in Spain, and sent it to the Senate.

The ruling Socialists and smaller-party allies amassed 184 votes against 158 from the main opposition conservative Popular Party and its allies.

Since 1985, abortion has been decriminalized in Spain, but only in matters of rape, or when the health of the child or mother is at risk.

Abortions have doubled in the past decade in the traditionally Roman Catholic country, from nearly 54,000 in 1998 to 112,000 in 2007, the most recent year for available data, according to Spain's Ministry of Health.

The Roman Catholic church here and the main opposition conservative Popular Party have blasted the government's bill to make it easier to get an abortion and give it legal backing.

The bill would permit abortions through 14 weeks of pregnancy, with few questions asked. But the most controversial section, according to many politicians and analysts, was a Socialist proposal to permit abortions for 16-year-olds without prior consent from their parents.

In recent negotiations to win enough votes, the Socialists agreed to soften that proposal. The version approved on Thursday would require 16 year-olds to get prior consent from their parents, unless such notification is reasonably considered to create a potentially violent conflict within the family.

Tens of thousands of people marched last October in Madrid against the abortion bill, under the theme "each life is important." Many leading conservative politicians attended, including former Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar.

They say the proposed law throws open the door to more abortions. A protest organizer, Benigno Blanco, told the crowd "this debate won't end until there's not a single abortion." Blanco was a senior official in Aznar's government.

But the bill's supporters say the abortion measures are part of a broader national strategy on sexual and reproductive health, including education and access to contraceptives, which aims to prevent unwanted pregnancies in Spain.

The Socialists have called the conservatives "hypocritical," accusing them of doing nothing to completely outlaw abortion during their eight years in power from 1996 to 2004.

A group of women shout and hold placards as they take part in a protest march to oppose the government's


Spain's drops controversial abortion measure - AFP, Thu Dec 10, 1:26 pm ET

MADRID (AFP) – Spain's ruling Socialist Party agreed on Thursday to amend the most controversial of its abortion reforms, one that would have allowed girls of 16 to end a pregnancy without parental consent.

The measure had been condemned by both the conservative opposition Popular Party as well as some Socialist lawmakers.

At the demand of the centre-right Basque Nationalist Party (PNV), parliament's Equal Opportunities Committee on Thursday approved a new version of the law that does not include the measure, political sources said.

However, the new legislation would still allow girls of 16 and over to undergo abortions without their parents' consent if there is "certain danger of family violence, threats, pressure, abuse, family exclusion or distress."

The new version of the proposed law would also allow doctors to refuse to carry out the procedure if they register as "conscientious objectors" to abortion.

The PNV said it would vote in favour of the bill "as its demands have been incorporated."

Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero governs without an absolute majority and relies on the support of smaller parties such as the PNV in order to pass legislation.

Zapatero's cabinet approved the draft law at a cabinet meeting in September despite strong opposition from the Roman Catholic Church and the PP.

Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets of Madrid on October 17 to condemn the measures in a demonstration organised by the Spanish Family Forum, a coalition of Catholic groups.

Under the reforms, abortions would be allowed on demand up to the 14th week of pregnancy, and up to 22 weeks if there is a risk to the mother's health or if the foetus is deformed.

Women could also undergo the procedure after 22 weeks if the foetus has a serious or incurable illness.

The existing law, introduced in 1985, a decade after the death of right-wing dictator Francisco Franco, only allows abortion in cases of rape, foetal malformation and when a pregnant woman's mental or physical health is deemed to be at risk if the pregnancy goes to term.


PAST ARTICLES

Big anti-abortion rally in Spain
Pro-life protesters turned out in numbers
Saturday, 17 October 2009 22:42 UK - BBC News

More than a million people are said to have taken part in a march in Madrid to oppose government plans to liberalise Spain's abortion law.

Several dozen centre-right opposition party joined the demonstration, which was backed by Roman Catholic bishops.

Socialist Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero wants to introduce abortion on demand.

At present, a pregnancy can only be terminated in mainly Catholic Spain under specific circumstances.

The government wants the procedure to be available to all women up until the 14th week of pregnancy.

Most controversially, the draft law currently before parliament would also permit girls aged 16 and 17 to have an abortion without their parents' knowledge.

It is the latest in a series of ethical issues which have pitted the Catholic right against the government, which has legalised gay marriage and made divorce easier.

Police estimates put the crowd at 250,000, but the regional government said that over a million had turned out, with the organisers claiming a turnout of two million.

'Every life matters'

The march brought together more than 40 religious and civil society groups calling for the government to withdraw the draft bill.

"This new law is a barbarity," said one protester, Jose Carlos Felicidad, from the southern town of Algeciras.

"In this country, they protect animals more than human beings," he told AFP news agency.

A broad cross-section of Spanish society were represented, says the BBC's Steve Kingstone in Madrid - old and young, parents with babies, priests, nuns, immigrant families and organised groups coached in from all over the country.

They gathered in the heart of Madrid under an enormous blue banner the height of a two-storey building emblazoned with the simple message: "Every life matters."

The crowd stretched all the way up the city's main avenue.

The demonstrators would have been hoping that lawmakers at the parliament nearby were listening, our correspondent adds, because it is they who in due course will vote on this controversial legislation.

Respect and rights?

Spain's existing law, dating from 1985, allows abortion in cases of rape and when there are signs of fetal abnormality.

Spanish women can also end a pregnancy if their physical or psychological health is at risk. In practice, the last category has been used to justify the vast majority of abortions - of which there were 112,000 in 2007.

The government says the new law is about respect and rights for women, and that anyone wanting to terminate a pregnancy will first be explained the alternatives - including state help for young mothers.

It also claims its proposal will make abortion safer - by ensuring the procedure does not happen beyond 22 weeks of a pregnancy.

In recent years shocking cases have emerged in which doctors performed abortions on women eight months pregnant, with the justification that their mental health was under threat.


Spain plans abortion law changes
Thursday, 14 May 2009 17:28 UK - BBC NEWS

The Spanish cabinet has agreed to liberalise the country's abortion laws, allowing abortion in most cases up to 14 weeks of pregnancy.

The proposals must go to parliament, where Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero lacks a majority.

His deputy, Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega, said changes were necessary to preserve the "dignity of women".

Anti-abortion groups have condemned the proposals and the Roman Catholic church has started an anti-abortion campaign.

Under current law, introduced in 1985, abortion is allowed in cases of rape up to 12 weeks of pregnancy and up to 22 weeks in the case of fetal malformation.

The most important thing about this law, what it seeks, is to protect women's dignity.
Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega Deputy Prime Minister

It can also be performed at any time when a pregnant woman's mental or physical health are at risk from carrying the baby to term.

Currently most abortions in Spain are justified on the basis of psychological harm to the mother.

Under the proposals, as well as abortion with no questions asked up to 14 weeks, the procedure would be permitted up to 22 weeks if two doctors certified that there was a serious risk to the mother, or fetal malformation.

An abortion after 22 weeks would require a panel of doctors to certify that the fetal malformation would mean the baby would not live, or the fetus were diagnosed with an extremely serious or incurable disease.

"The most important thing about this law, what it seeks, is to protect women's dignity.

"That is its spirit, from beginning to end," said Ms Fernandez de la Vega, according to the Associated Press news agency.

The proposed changes follow other liberalisations made by Socialist Prime Minister Mr Zapatero, including legalising gay marriage and easing divorce laws.

The Catholic Church has condemned the abortion changes, with protests held earlier this year.

Here is a link to an article about the full abortion shown on Spanish TV in 2007. It's obviously quite graphic.

my driver's license & trusting God

(castellano abajo)

"Taste and see that the Lord is good." (Psalm 34:8) "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:10) "I have come to give you life and give it abundantly." (John 10:10) "I have trusted in your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation." (Psalm 13:5) These are some of the passages that have come to mind again and again the past few days as I've wrestled with the Lord over various things I've been a bit anxious about. "Perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18)

For the past few months I have been trying to get my Spanish driver's license. Unfortunately it has taken much more time and money than I had hoped. And while in some ways I've had to "relearn" to drive, I feel like the Lord intended this time for something else, that He desires to use it to teach me again what it means to TRUST Him.

Looking back at what's happened so far, in hind's sight, regretfully, I've been fearful of failing, fearful of the dishonesty of those involved in the system, fearful of making a dumb mistake, etc., During and after nearly every class I find myself practically trembling with nerves and fairly stressed out. I've do everything I can think of and yet inevitably something goes wrong and I find myself more frustrated and more anxious with the whole process. I have now failed three times and, in part, the reason it is so hard is that I've never failed at anything before. On top of this, my professor hasn't helped in continually criticizing me, cutting me down, and making me feel like a complete imbecile. And since I like to both do well at things and to please those around me (both at times to a fault), I end up even more stressed out and anxious.

Today, however, was amazing and was completely a gift from God. I had class, after a few weeks without it, due to the holidays, and told him for once what I think. Amazingly I actually stood up to him and told him that I NEED to pass the exam this time and I need him to help me do so (both in terms of correcting me and in terms of knowing that he is on my side). He was fairly defensive and told me that I should take responsibility for failing instead of blaming him. And then after much discussion/argument and him yelling me a few times for asking him if I'd done things correctly or not, or to explain how to change what I had done wrong, telling me that I should already know, he said that he thought I needed a new professor (which I've been thinking for awhile, but just didn't have the guts to change). So, long story short, I finally changed professors. And it is night and day.

First of all, we got back to the driving school and the guy I've been wanting as a professor, because he's nice and generally happy and kind, was there (and in fact the only one there) and actually seemed happy to take me on as a student. He asked if I had time then to go for a drive so he could see how I drove, so we went right away. As I said, night and day. Instead of yelling at me the whole time and telling me everything I do wrong, he told me to relax and actually told me some things I do right. Crazy!

The Lord is so gracious. Antonio, the new professor actually seems to care about me and my learning to drive (granted I think the other guy did too he just had a very different method of teaching). In comparison, when Antonio corrects me he does so kindly and in a way that doesn't make me feel completely stupid. He, in fact, told me that the main thing I need to change is to relax. Wow! What a change! And, so true; I've never been so stressed out driving. Once again, I actually enjoyed being in the car and driving. Instead of being afraid of making a mistake, I actually just drive. This new professor actually relaxes me and I actually trust him and trust him to be on my side. And he doesn't get frustrated if I ask him a question or need some more explanation. It is miraculous and since I've gotten back I feel like the Lord just keeps saying, "Dawn, I give good gifts. Trust me. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Be still and know that I am God. I will protect you and I will provide for you." And today as I came home after class, I actually wasn't shaking. I was actually happy. Praise God!

So, I'm writing this as a note in part to share how great God is in his provision for me, how tender his love is, because while this whole driver's license has been the thorn in my side, I'm beginning to see that it is also a blessing, a blessing that it's taken me this long to pass and something totally worth the cost. The Lord is using it to help me to trust him in the small things and trust Him to give me good things, to trust Him to be God. This morning since I got back from my driving class, I'm seeing how this isn't just about getting my driver's license but about a whole lot more. The Lord is showing me areas where I'm not letting him have my whole life and control over all things.

God is so Good and so sweet to me to teach me these hard, painful lessons and to actually kindly correct me in that which I haven't been trusting him fully. Praise the Lord for his immense love that never stops giving, for his love that is unconditional and that keeps giving abundantly even when we don't deserve it or even when we are running the other way (out of fear or defiance or whatever). I am so thankful that He loved me first and that He continues to pursue me with a passion unlike any other.

The other reason I'm writing this is to both ask for your prayers in this whole area of trust and resting in the Lord (of ceasing to strive and knowing that HE and he alone is God) and of walking by faith not by sight, of not trying to double guess what could happen, but to trust in the Lord to be with me and to lead me on straight and secure paths. And, in that, one of the things I'd ask for prayer in is that the 29th of January (next Thursday), that I'd finally pass this driving exam - that I'd be relaxed and that I'd do everything right, and more importantly that I'd let God be God and walk/drive trusting in him and secure/confident of his love, of his protection, provision, presence, of his control of the circumstances and of His joy in fighting for me and in making a way where it seems impossible. I am so thankful that I am loved by God, that He has called me his child, and that He has and continues to redeem me in oh so many ways.

Psalm 34:
"I will bless the Lord at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
and let us exalt his name together!

I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
Affliction will slay the wicked,
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned."

"I am the Lord your God,
who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." Psalm 81:10

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

---
en castellano

"Probad y ved que el SEÑOR es bueno. ¡Cuán bienaventurado es el hombre que en Él se refugia!." (Salmo 34:8) "Abre bien tu boca y la llenaré." (Salmo 81:10) "Yo he venido para que tengan vida, y para que la tengan en abundancia." (Juan 10:10) "Mas yo en tu misericordia he confiado; mi corazón se regocijará en tu salvación." (Psalm 13:5) Son unos de los pasajes que últimamente me han venido al mente una y otra vez estos días mientras he luchado con el Señor y buscado a su rostro acerca varias situaciónes. Son las promesas que me han venido cuando he estado ansiosa. "En el amor no hay temor, sino que el perfecto amor echa fuera el temor." (1 John 4:18)

Durante los últimos meses he entrado en el proceso al sacarme el carnet de conducir. Y me ha tardado mucho más tiempo y dinero que me pensaba que me iba a tardar y costar. Y aunque ha sido el asunto de "reaprender" el conducir, parece que Dios quería usarlo para enseñarme algunas cositas y en específico, lo que es confiar en él.

Mirándome atrés a lo que ha pasado hasta ahora, desafortunadamente, he temado el fracasar, he temado lo que pudría pasar, he temado la corupción del sistema, he temado que fallara, etc., Durante y después de casi cada clase me encuentro casi temblando de nervios. He intentado hacer todo que pudría para hacerlo bien y no me ha salido. Y de echo cada vez me ponde más ansiosa y más frustrada con el proceso, la sistema y mi misma. Ya he suspendido tres veces y creo lo más frustrante es que nunca he suspendido en nada en mi vida. Encima de todo, el profe no ayuda. Me critique, me riñe, me hace sentir como un imbecíl. Y como soy una persona que le guste hacer bien las cosas y también agradecer a los demás (a veces incluso hasta ser un defecto), me vuelvo más estresada y ansiosa. Poniendolo claor, en vez de temar a Dios y dejarlo en sus manos, he temado al hombre, al circumstancias, etc., y lo reconozco.

Hoy, de echo, ha sido un regalo de Dios. Ha sido una gira de 360º. Fue sopredente. Tuve clase, después de unas semanas sin ella, gracias a las fiestas, y por fin le dije lo que llevo tiempo pensando. Le dije que TENGO que probarlo ya y que necesito que me ayude pero que me ayude de verdad (diciendome bien las cosas, los fallos posibles, etc.,) y que necesito saber que está conmigo. Se puso un poco defensivo y me dijo que no debía echarle la culpa a él por mis fallos y que realmente era yo que no le hacía caso. Pues dimos el clase y seguía como siempre en que a veces le pregunto sí paraba bien o tal y que me regañe y me dice que debo saberlo ya. Le pregunto que me enseñe algo y me dice que ya me lo ha enseñado y digo que me lo explique y dice que debo saberlo ya... Pero después de un tiempo cuando le dije que le pregunto precisamente porque no entiendo me dijo, pues parece que no nos entendemos bien. Y me dijo que a lo mejor sería mejor que cambiara de profesor. Y le pregunté si realmente le pareció que iría mejor con otro y me dijo que sí. Es una cosa que llevo casí desde el princípio pensando pero lo justifique pensado que sólo era yo que debiera perseverir, que debiera acustubrarme a la manera española de enseñanza, de no ser tal débil y sensitiva, que realmente iba a ser igual con todos que sólo era así y ya. Y si soy honesta, en parte por miedo de lo que no conocía. A fin y acabo, cambié de profesor hoy y es una diferencia de noche y día.

En primer lugar, llegamos al autoescuela y el profesor que siempre he querido (porque parece simpático y amable y feliz) estaba allí. Y de echo cuando mi profesor antiguo le preguntó si tenía hueco para darme clase, dijo que sí pero con simpatía. Después me pregunta si tenía tiempo en ese momento para dar un paseo con el coche para que viera que tal lo llevo. Estaba flipando. Dije que sí y fuimos. Como ya lo dije, era noche del día. No me riñaba todo el tiempo sino hablamos normal y más que otra cosa me decía que tenía que relajarme. De hecho me decía cosas que hacía bien, me animaba. Y en vez de sentir agobiada y estresada, sentía bastante tranquila y como si estuviera conduciendo normal, por mi cuenta, sin tener nadie allí para examinarme o correguirme o criticar. ¡Qué cambio! Y qué diferecia! Creo que había olvidado que me gustaba al conducir. Y en vez de estar pensando todo el rato lo que no debo hacer, sólo conduzco y me va bien. Este profesor, Antonio, tiene un comportamiento completemente diferente al otro. Cuando me corrige lo hace sin humillarme, lo hace de una manera normal y simpática. Me trate como una persona y no como un imbecíl y sabe como explicar las cosas.

El Señor es maravilloso! Es tan lleno de gracia! Es un milagro y desde que volví de clase sigo dando gracias a Dios. Y sigo oyendo que me diga, "Alba, soy dador. Doy buenas cosas. Confia en mí, te protegeré, proveré por tí Está quieta y sabe que soy Dios." Después del clase hoy (por lo cual no me cobró) sentía gozosa y no estaba temblando. De echo estaba feliz! Gloria a Dios!

Entonces, comparto todo de esto con vosotros porque quiero compartir cuán grande es mi Dios y cuán bueno es su provisión para mi porque su amor es tan tierno. Y hasta ahora este carnet ha sido el espino en mi lado pero estoy empezando a darme cuenta de que de un lado ha sido una bendición, una bendición que me ha tardado tanto en sacarlo y algo que realmente merece la pena aunque sea doloroso. El Señor lo está usando para ayudarme a confiar no sólo en este asunto pero también en otras areas, de confiar que el sea dador de buenas cosas y también para ver otra areas dónde no he dejado que el maneje cien por cien.

Dios es tan Bueno y tan dulce para enseñarme estas cosas y para correguirme pero de una forma tan suave. Gracias a Dios por su amor imenso que nunca deja de dar. Gracias por su amor tan incondicional que da todo y aun cuando no lo merecemos, aun cuando estamos huyendo por nuestro propio camino (por miedo o por lo que sea). Estoy tan agradecida que me amó primero y que me sigue amando con una pasión incomparable.

También comparto todo de estoy para pedir vuestras oraciónes en todo este tema del confiar y de descansar en el Señor (de estar quieta y saber que Él y sólo Él es Dios), del andar por fé y no por vista, de no pensado en lo que pudría pasar sino confiado que el Señor me va a llevar en caminos rectos y seguros. Y os pido que oreís por mi este día 29 de enero (el jueves que viene) que apruebe por fin - que esté relajada y que haga todo bien y más que eso que dejara que Dios sea Dios y que conduciera/andara confiando en él y segura y con confianza en su amor, su protección, su provisión, su presencia y en su control y soberanía sobre todas las circumstancias y de que el deleite en luchando por mí y en haciendo un cambio donde no lo hay, donde parece imposible. Que gozo es saber que Dios me ama, que el me cuida, que soy hija tuya y que el me ha redimido y sigue redimiéndome en tantas maneras!

"Probad y ved que el SEÑOR es bueno.
¡Cuán bienaventurado es el hombre
que en Él se refugia!." Salmo 34:8

"Yo, el SEÑOR, soy tu Dios,
que te saqué de la tierra de Egipto;
abre bien tu boca y la llenaré." Salmo 81:10

"El ladrón sólo viene para robar y matar y destruir;
yo he venido para que tengan vida,
y para que la tengan en abundancia." Juan 10:10

"En el amor no hay temor, sino que el perfecto amor echa fuera el temor, porque el temor involucra castigo, y el que teme no es hecho perfecto en el amor." 1 John 4:18

The third try is not always a charm

So... I regret to say that today was my third attempt at the practical test of the Spanish driving test and... yet again, I didn't pass. :-S The guy who also took the test told me that he felt worse for me than for himself (he didn't pass either, his second try), because yet again I did everything right EXCEPT one little thing, I didn't stop long enough at the stop sign. I by no means would call it a rolling stop, in fact i stopped twice, once at the line and once a bit farther ahead. BUT apparently it wasn't a COMPLETE stop. And unfortunately the examiner today was really nice. She didn't even make me parallel park. So...that means another 200+ Euros, the really bad news, and that I have to wait until the end of January for the next one. I really don't understand why this is taking so long. It seems that the only times I do something stupid, like not wait enough after stopping is DURING the exam, when it matters. Suffice to say I'm a bit frustrated, but am also choosing to trust that God has a plan in all of this and that he has this too in his hands.

Driving Test #2

So... here's the latest driving update. I went to take the test again this monday and... again failed. Yet I felt a bit better about the whole thing this time because I didn't do one thing wrong (even according to my less than positive instructor) except on one of the sharp right turns i went over the curb a tiny bit, which is grounds for FAILING me again. Honestly, it is almost humorous. And everyone I've talked to since then, American and Spanish and other nationality, has said, "Don't worry, that's completely normal. I passed it on my fourth try." (And note this is even from people 10 or 20 years older than me, who had also been driving for quite some time prior to it.)

But all said and done, I was proud of myself, for not once pushing the clutch before the brake, nor putting my hand inside the wheel upon turning, and not once skipping a gear.

And the other thing, much more calming than my "perfection" was that I was very aware and thankful for the Lord's presence with me and that I can trust that He is in control and with me. I had to get up at 5:30am, made myself a cappichino, which i don't think i actually drank, and some oatmeal that was too hot to eat before i left the house, or at least more than a bit, and sat down to do the Sermon on the Mount study I've been doing. I just happened ;-) to be reading a ton of verses about the law and how the law and the rules are good because they point you to God, your desperate need of Him, and yet they cannot save you. They don't have the power too, only Jesus can do that.

A passage in particular struck me as I read in Exodus after God gives the Israelites the 10 Commandments and Moses & Israel promise to keep the commandments, they make a covenant with God, and Moses sprinkles the blood (from the sacrificed animals) over the people and over the law. God says that he wants them to remember Him and that He is with them and that He goes before them.

As I read through the various passages and was praying about my exam, I felt the Lord say to me, "I go with you. I will be with you. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name. You are mine. Do not fear man, trust me to bring about my will and trust my will to be done. I will be there with you as you drive." And I asked the Lord to calm me, to help my feet to push the brakes before the clutch every time, to be aware of my hands, and anything else that I needed to know. I ask him to calm me and to remind me he was there. And He did just that. I was nervous, but calm at the same time. It really did go absolutely perfectly! No, I didn't pass, but I let him be God and me be man, which is a nice feeling, particularly since it seems that when I feel out of control often times I try to fix things myself (which makes no sense, if He is God). So it felt good to let Him be God and to trust Him.

And, while I have no idea what the future may hold, I am fairly confident that this third time will be a charm and will be my day to finally get my SPANISH DRIVER'S LICENSE. It is in two weeks (after paying some more fees, for having failed it twice, and then for the required 5 more classes I must take), most likely on a Wednesday, Dec 17, and likely at 8am. Please pray for me and also for the Lord to provide the extra money I need to take these silly classes and test. :-)

Note: Another fun thing about Monday was that it SNOWED!!! This may not be as noteworthy where you live, but in the city it RARELY snows and it came down hard for about a half an hour, really hard. Granted none of it stuck, but I've been asking the Lord to let it snow this year, and it DID. What I'd REALLY like is some snow that sticks at least for a day and at least a good inch to cover everything. I mean I'd love more, but that seems pushing it a bit already. And I'd LOVE a white Christmas.

So far it's been a much colder winter than normal, which I am presently stoked about (knowing it could mean, SNOoooW). We'll just have to see though. It is impressive, I must say that we've already had some snow and it's only the beginning of December!

the highway, autopista

recently when i am on the highway, either in a car or on the bus, i think of the US and my life there and here. i try to remember what the highways look like in missouri or kansas and somehow in my mind i create a morph of the two. it's kind of a funny thing. i think of what my life is and what it would be life, possibly, if i were there. crazy. i usually end up thinking, i have a crazy but amazing life and while i miss home from time to time, i love where i live and what i do. i feel very blessed and honored. :-)

Glimpses of Revival

Here are a few pictures that bring me joy and give me goosebumps... they are of Italian students praying and praising God.

They give me goosebumps because more than anything I long for God to bring about revival in Western Europe, for students and people in general to be struck by who they are and who God is, kneel before him in repentance and in worship of an Almighty, Powerful and Loving God. These pictures seem to be glimpses of just that. And they are not just limited to Italy, it IS happening all over Europe, not quite in the magnitude I'd like, not quite yet, but I believe that the Lord is at work in MIGHTY, MIGHTY ways. In the hearts of students of Spain, in the hearts of Western Europeans, and in the hearts of the peoples of the world.

"After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.” - Revelation 7:9-12

Come Lord Jesus, Come!

the EASY Camino... a brief recap

So, I shared the before of the Camino and figured I should share at least a few little thoughts about it on the other side.

There is so much I could say, but it was VERY VERY fun! 55 high school students have a ton of energy, but these particular ones were incredible.

Some of my highlights...

... the day I had the stomach flu (not being sick), experiencing everyone's care and love... having them carry my burdens for the day as they let me sleep, brought me Aquarius (Spain's version of Gatorade), fruit, bread, etc., and were super attentive and sweet.

... taking care of peoples' feet - from blisters to cuts to rashes, etc.,

... walking into Santiago

... hearing the kids share how God was working in their lives... one guy crying as he decided to forgive his abusive day... another guy sharing how he had chosen to trust God to overcome some fears and allow people into his life... a girl sharing how she now knew that God was really real... another girl talking of how she was choosing to now see herself the way God sees her... and many more

... hugs and kisses from the kids

... walking in beautiful NW Spain -- green, hills, little creeks, trees and forest...

... some good time with some good friends, Marc & Eva & Melissa & Marian & some new friends Natalie & co...

... realizing that all of my present belongings fit in a backpack on my back

... listening to some of the guys brag about how easy it was and how many backpacks they had carried that day, or showing the huge stone they had carried, or trying to outdo one another in being the greatest servant of others... the testosterone was running high, but i didn't mind being taken care of

... remembering memories from past Caminos -- times with the Lord, things I learned, people I walked with, friends, etc.,

... enjoying clean clothes, a WARM shower, and a REAL bed upon arriving to Santiago

Some of the funnier/less than glamerous parts of the camino...

... the vast quantity of cow poop we walked over and through

... wearing two pairs of clothes for 10 days (washing them of course from time to time)

... throwing up all night in an extremely stinky bathroom and having the stomach flu

... not being able to walk one of the days due to the fact that I couldn't keep anything down and was a bit weak

... looking at some of the very sad feet (one girl got 18 blisters the first day, don't ask me how) and not being able to do much more than ease the pain and give some advice

... 10 days of cold, sometimes extremely freezing showers and most the time group showers

Note: By the way, EASY doesn't really mean "easy". We did carry all our luggage on our backs for 8 days and we did camp out almost the whole way and we did walk somewhere between 20 and 30+ kilometers a day, so it wasn't exactly the "easy" route. EASY stands for European All Staff Youth. It began as staff kids from Western Europe and now is them plus their friends and many others.

Madrid - happy thoughts

so... this is somewhat random, or very random, but i just went to the post office to pick up a package (a couple books i had orders) and definitely had a spain moment. i walked out of the post office with my package in hand, heard a guy playing the accordian, noticed the tile on the sidewalk (completely normal here), felt a cool breeze, was headed to the metro and thought "gosh, i love my life. i love living here. it's fun even just to go to the post office." now i don't always feel that way (particularly since it can be a trek to get to the post office), but today all i saw were the things i love.

note: these are pictures of more or less where i was. the last one is where i go running, which is just around the corner (more or less) from the post office.