humid or dry, i'm not quite sure?

My roommate melissa and i went for a run a bit earlier and we noticed the strange phenomenon that has occurred as of late - it feels a bit humid, but somehow the air seems to take all the moisture out of our bodies, so we are in a perpetual state of dehydration (or so it feels). We are both from the midwest where it is most definitely EXTREMELY humid (at least in Missouri). Madrid is not at all like that. And, yes, it is definitely dry. But as the summer has arrived it feels some days a bit humid and may even rain (a bit), but on these humid days honestly it feels like all the moisture is taken from my body to make the air humid. I don't understand, but it seems a little strange.

film list

I'm putting together a list of films for film discussion nights for next semester. If you have any ideas, I'd love the suggestions...

Thus far these are my ideas...

* To End All Wars (2001)
* Crash
* The Shawshank Redemption
* The Dark Knight
* Il Postino / El Cartero (de Pablo Neruda) (1994)
* Dieu est grand, je suis toute petite (2001)
* Amelie
* The Secret Life of Words (La Vida Secreta de Las Palabras)
* Little Miss Sunshine
* Slumdog Millionaire
* Changling
* High Fidelity
* Mystic River
* God Grew Tired of Us (I still have to watch this)
* The Visitor (I'm watching it right now ;-))

"What is the consequence of a single life weighing less than a feather? What is the final destination of hatred? When you look in the eyes of the enemy and you see yourself... at what price mercy? Who is my neighbor? How many times shall I forgive my brother? What does it mean to love one's enemies? What can a man give in exchange for his soul? These are the questions I faced at my prison camp. The answers changed my life forever." Quotes from the movie, "To End All Wars," the autobiography of Ernest Gordon

I just watched this and think it is one of the best movies I've ever seen.

"to end all wars" and Shakespeare

William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

And quoted in the movie "To End All Wars," where the following quote (also Shakespeare, but from Henry V) is also cited:

This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

chocolate

hmm... it is interesting. (by the way, this is completely random.) i just walked into the kitchen to grab a square of dark chocolate and to make some noodles (since i'm randomly hungry again - lunch here is generally around 2 or 3pm and it is now almost 5pm, so think of 2pm your time). anyway, as i grabbed the couple squares of chocolate i thought, "gosh, i never eat this much chocolate, but somehow as of late i've been craving it from time to time. strange. oh yeah, i guess i did just start my period. i guess chocolate cravings do tend to come then. interesting."

so that's my great observation. there are many other things associated with one's monthly period that are true of mine, chocolate generally isn't one of them (although apparently this month it is). it is odd that when i was little i LOVED chocolate and that now, while i like it, i don't tend to prefer it - only once in awhile. i tend to prefer fruit if i want something sweet. and, often times, if i do crave chocolate, i either don't have any or try to satisfy my craving with chocolate tea (i think i have both black tea and green tea with some sort of chocolate added - loose tea of course, thanks to the local "The Tea Shop." :-)

secret agent

Today (Friday) I drove a friend to the Spanish version of the FBI. About a year ago their family's apartment was broken into and their computers, cameras, and other major electronic equipment was taken. They live close to where I do in a safe part of town. Anyway, a couple weeks ago (a year later) they got a call from the guardia civil to say that they had recovered one of their stolen computers and that they could come recover it in Toledo (about 45 minutes away).

So this morning Dave and I set out for Toledo in my car. We arrived found a place to park, paid the meter and walked over to the guardia civil compound. Now granted the guardia civil is kind of like the police branch of the military so it is a bit more intimidating than the standard police office. We saw some military cars leave, walked up to the guard at the gate and told him that we were there to meet Juan de Mata (that's his name, really, but "mata" means to kill, so it sounds like John Killer or something like that). The guard takes Dave's id card goes into the building on the right, calls up on the intercom to someone upstairs and says something (I was too far away to hear). Then about two minutes later a car drives up with a guy that looks at Dave and says, "Hi Dave. I'm Juan." and then to the guards, "Have them follow me." So we follow the car which quickly goes out of sight. There is practically no one else in sight. And most of those who are are in uniform.

Juan was a normal looking guy in sunglasses in a nice, but normal car. Anyway, we have no idea where the car nor Juan is, but right about this time a thin, tattooed, spanish looking guy with curly, somewhat long dark hair walks out and greets us (or more correctly Dave - they shake my hand too, but only because I'm standing there). He definitely looks like an undercover cop who is carrying a gun. He takes us upstairs were we enter into their office. There are about 8 desks, a board with photos, names, and random details about Operation Perche or something like that. We hear the two men (Juan soon after enters the room) talking about random details of some guys who are in jail.

Then Juan brings out Dave's computer, asks him to identify it, asks Dave a ton of personal information (his parents' names, his addresses here and in the US, etc.,). Then Dave asks how they found it and him. Apparently the stolen goods were found in eight residences of Polish immigrants who were a part of a mafia or band of gangs. Juan had gotten permission to hack into all the computers, so he had looked at the contents of Dave's computer where he found information about the mission he works with, contacted them, and then got in touch with Dave. Juan then showed us pictures of the thieves who were now in jail, pictures of Dave and his wife (which were now on Juan's computer), etc.,

We then sat there for about an hour or so while Juan entered a ton of info into his computer, had Dave sign a few things, looked through boxes of confiscated stuff from these same residences in search of the many other things Dave and Beth (Dave's wife) had lost. The laptop (an old Dell) and the carrying bag along with a jerry-rigged European cord were all that remained. The mac computers (which were newer, and of course much better ;-)), the camera, and other stuff was no where to be found, probably the stuff they sold early on by the thieves.

We talked awhile to the officers and then headed back home, but on the way back both of us felt like we had just entered another world, that we were now living the life of Alias or of Mission Impossible, that somehow we were cooler or had just glimpsed a world we know nothing about.

So that was my friday morning... We got back in time for lunch and the rest of the day was fairly normal.

a world at war

"...we had no idea that we were born into a world at war." - John Eldredge, Waking The Dead












Here are just a few quotes from a book I just picked up:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus of Nazareth, John 10:10

"After a while, the accumulation of event after event that we do not like and do not understand erodes our confidence that we are part of something grand and good, and reduces us to a survivalist mind-set." John Eldredge, Waking the Dead

"I am the bread of life... Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." Jesus, John 6:48 & 7:38

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

"'I tell you the truth,' Jesus said to them, 'no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." Luke 18:29-30

"Godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" 1 Timothy 4:8

"Just as Christ was raised form the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may life new lives." Romans 6:4

"When we hear the words eternal life, most of us tend to interpret that as 'a life that waits for us in eternity.' But eternal means 'unending,' not 'later.' The Scriptures use the term to mean we can never lose it. It's a life that can't be taken from us. The offer is life, and that life starts now." John Eldredge, Waking the Dead

"...God intends life for you. But right now that life is opposed... There is a thief. He comes to steal and kill and destroy. In other words, yes, the offer is life, but you're going to have to fight for it because there's an Enemy in your life with a different agenda.

There is something set against us.
We are at war.

How I've missed this for so long is a mystery to me. Maybe I've overlooked it; maybe I've chosen not to see. We are at war. I don't like that fact any more than you do, but the sooner we come to terms with it, the better hope we have of making it through to the life we do want. This is not Eden. you probably figured that out. This is not Mayberry; this is not Seinfeld's world; this is not Survivor. The world in which we life is a combat zone, a violent clash of kingdoms, a bitter struggle unto death... you were born into a world at war, and you will life all your days in the midst of a great battle, involving all the forces of heaven and hell and played out here on earth." John Eldredge, Waking the Dead

life

"Every day in the United States of America over 4,000 American citizens are silenced against their wills. They have their voices permanently silenced and they never get the opportunity to speak on behalf of themselves. Today we stand in silent solidarity with those who have been silenced. Today we are silent, but by doing this we are being a voice for the one-third of our generation that will never have a voice. These victims are not only being silenced; they are being killed. The victims we stand on behalf of are not going to be mentioned on the news. The victims we stand on behalf of will not have a funeral. The victims we stand on behalf of were ripped from the safety and warmth of their mothers’ wombs. The victims we stand on behalf of were not blobs of tissue, but beautiful human persons, with hearts that beat, brains that gave out brain waves, and a soul. These are the victims of the abortion holocaust. Every day over 4,000 babies have their lives ended in the name of choice. Since January 22, 1973, over 46 million babies have died. The time is now to stand on behalf of these innocent victims. Visit www.standtrue.com to find out how to be a voice." (taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/pepsi11295/2965600342/in/photostream/)

I just saw this as I was surfing the net and thought it deserved to be posted. Over the past few months I continue to meet women (seemingly randomly) who have had abortions and recount horrible, horrible memories and emotional scars that result. And then to hear a friend of mine, a social worker, talk about some of the things she has been told by people who work for abortion clinics here in Spain in terms of what they can do to "get rid of" any unwanted baby even up very close to the due date - horrible things about chemicals, centrifuges, unspeakable things - all paid for by the government. As I say this, I don't mean to be condemning. I think abortion is a horrible, horrible thing and yet I don't think people who have abortions are beyond God's mercy and grace. People who have abortions are not any worse than anyone else. We all desperately need God's grace and I have friends who have taken (or are still taking) years to allow the Lord to help them to forgive themselves. It is sad how the church desires to be an agent of reconciliation and restoration and yet often times people expect us to reject them. Oh Lord, have mercy on us, and help us to love as you love people.

arte

wow! i'm enjoying a quiet sunday afternoon and listening to a sermon from my pastor back in lawrence, ks - bill vogler. i've been reading both the fun novel, the elegance of the hedgehog (a french author whose name is escaping me right now, although i'm reading it in spanish and i know that it also exists in english) and waking the dead by john eldredge. anyway, since i read a little excerpt from eldredge's book as i ate lunch, i've been thinking about arte and stories...

i'm listening to a great sermon on colossians 1 and surfing for some pretty pictures online. i love art and nature and beautiful photographs. i really love cool art, art that talks about life and realities that sometimes arte or music can really explain much better than mere words. so, that said, here are a few things i found and their link where you can find more.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pepsi11295/2959261577/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicoleeiko/3568488934/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/the-lost-american/3572739537/in/set-72157615000193909/(this is actually the site of a friend, nathan, who lives in france, who amazes me because he is in high school and an amazing artist)

"Thou hast commanded me to believe in Jesus;
and I would flee to no other refuge,
wash in no other fountain,
build on no other foundation,
receive from no other fullness,
rest in no other relief..." Valley of Vision

"for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2:13

"Cuándo pienso en tu amor y en tu fidelidad,
When I think of your love and your faithfulness,
No puedo hacer más que postrarme y adorar.
I fall to my knees in worship
Y cúando pienso en como he sido
When I think of all that I am,
Y hasta dónde me has traído,
And all that you have done in my life.
Me asombro de ti.
I'm in awe of you.

No me quiero conformar,
I don't want to settle for anything less,
He probado y quiero más.
I have tasted who you really are and want more.

Yo quiero enamorarme más de tí.
I want to fall more in love with you.
Enséñame amarte y vivir
Teach me to love and to live
Conforme a tu justicia y tu verdad.
According to your justice and truth.
Con mi vida quiero adorar
With my life I want to worship
Con todo lo que tengo y lo que soy,
With all that I have and all that I am,
Todo lo que he sido te lo doy,
All that I have been I give to you
Que mi vida sea para ti como un perfume a tus pies.
That my life may be to you as a perfume poured out upon your feet.

Cuándo pienso en tu cruz y en todo lo que has dado,
When I think of your cross and of all that you have given,
Tu sangre por mi, por llevar mi pecado.
Your blood poured out for my sin.
Y cuándo pienso en tu mano,
And when I think of your hand of grace
Hasta aqui hemos llegado por tu fidelidad.
That we've gotten to where we have by your faithfulness.

No me quiero conformar,
I don't want to settle for anything less,
He probado y quiero más.
I have tasted who you really are and want more.
No me quiero conformar.
I don't want to settle for anything less.
No me quiero conformar,
I don't want to settle for anything less,
He probado y quiero más.
I have tasted who you really are and want more.

Yo quiero enamorarme más de tí.
I want to fall more in love with you.
Enséñame amarte y vivir
Teach me to love and to live
Conforme a tu justicia y tu verdad.
According to your justice and truth.
Con mi vida quiero adorar
With my life I want to worship
Con todo lo que tengo y lo que soy,
With all that I have and all that I am,
Todo lo que he sido te lo doy,
All that I have been I give to you
Que mi vida sea para ti como un perfume a tus pies...
That my life may be to you as a perfume poured out upon your feet..."
-"Perfume a tus pies" - Jaz Jacob

"O God Most High, Most Glorious,
The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
and my defeats are thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,
to leave every concern entirely to thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great Shepherd,
hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helpin gme to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;
unbelief mars my confidence,
sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to thee,
that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God." - Valley of Vision, "Resting On God"

breathe

Strong Weakness - from Village Thrift, Enter the Worship Circle

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can bring me to my knees.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can rescue me, rescue me from me.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who will color love, You cover me.

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who can pull me from the grave.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who thinks I’m good, good enough to save.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who will color love, you cover me.

Oh, amazing!!! I love this music and I love the Lord! Amazing!!!

I've kind of had a melancholy day and couldn't quite put my finger on why until I sat down and realized, (1) I'm exhausted, (2) I had a crappy weekend, which I thought was going to be relaxing and restful but was frustrating, tiring, draining,... and that on top of that that I was frustrated that I was frustrated (which I'm realizing happens more often than I had previously thought), and (3) I haven't had good time with the Lord today, in His word, letting it wash me and renew me.

So, here I am, resting in the Lord and being renewed and refreshed, given life again. No wonder the Lord talks about a sabbath rest, where we rest from our works. I am seeing the results of not always taking a day to rest and be refreshed and renewed and I am learning how to do that in a very abnormal schedule. Ahh....refreshment... ahh... rest... ah... renewal and resting from working... (even if I love my life and my "job" and such, I still need time for me and time to be refreshed - a fact which I forget way too easily...)

:-) I'm listening to "my favorites" on my itunes and Paul Oakenfold just came on. Not necessarily "spiritual" music, but I love it. I think the Lord smiles as I listen to it. It makes me smile. :-) I love this mix!

Now onto Caedmon's Call - "Only Hope"

Depth of mercy, can there be
Mercy still reserved for me,
Can my God, your wrath forbear,
Me, the chief of sinners, spare

Chorus
It's my only hope,
You're my only hope,
It's my only hope of Heaven,
At the cross forgiven

I have long withstood your grace,
King, provoked you to your face,
Would not harken to your calls,
Grieved you by a thousand falls,

Chorus

There for me the Savior stands,
Shows his wounds and spreads His hands,
Face to face before the Son
And like Isaiah I'm undone

Depth of mercy, vast and free,
So much deeper than the sea,
God of love, you heard my cry,
Now into your open arms I fly

Chorus

I'll make another post for my thoughts and readings, since this one is getting kind of long. :-) Oh, now we're onto Guster, "Satellite." I have to say, GREAT MUSIC!!!!

"You Never Let Go" - Mat Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Chorus 2x's)

"There have been times when I think we don not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else.... It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work.... All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it." - C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

"How sweet all at once it was for me to be ride of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose...! You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy. You drove them from me and took their place, you who are sweeter than all pleasure, though not to flesh and blood, you who outshine all light, yet are hidden deeper than any secret in our hearts, you who surpass all honor, though not in the eyes of men who see all honor in themselves.... O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation." - Augustine

"Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people), like a crutch, which is a substitute for a leg. most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it's idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits, etc.) can do the journey on their own!" - C.S. Lewis

forgiveness

I just saw this on a friend's blog and liked it, so I just copied it and am posting it too. If you want to check out this friend's blog, follow the link above. Thanks, Dave!

"It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face.

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” he said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!”

His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.

And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself." - Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Be still, my soul

I went running this evening with a friend and as we talked about how we've been it occurred to me that I have been fluctuating between feeling relaxed and taking things as they come and feeling overwhelmed. Granted I've been a bit tired this week, which it occurred to me might have something with the fact that I haven't been taking my vitamins recently, but when I've been overwhelmed and anxious, I've also had a hard time being still before the Lord. There are some reasons that I won't go into here, some things weighing on me, but I decided that it would make sense to come back and spend some time with Jesus being still. :-)

Here is some of what I looked at...

"Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still my soul, thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past
Thy hope thy confidence, let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last

Be still my soul, the waves and winds do know
His voice who rules them while he dwelt below
In the quiet of your presence,
Where my soul can find its rest
His Spirit is refreshing and my heart is truly blest
I can place my burdens at your feet,
Knowing that is where they stay
And trust you to take them all away.

Be still my soul, the hour is hasting on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone
Sorrows forgot, love's purest love restored

Be still my soul, where change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

I read back through "The Daily Office" as it has some great prayers and scripture to meditate upon:



Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Opening sentences

One thing I have asked of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to behold the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.

Call & Response

Who is it that you seek? We seek the Lord our God.
Do you seek Him with all your heart? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your soul? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your mind? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your strength? Amen. Christ, have mercy.

Declaration of faith

To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.

Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ, King of endless glory.

Scripture readings, Meditation, Prayers for others

Canticle

Christ, as a light illumine and guide me.
Christ, as a shield overshadow me.
Christ under me; Christ over me;
Christ beside me on my left and my right.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Christ as a light; Christ as a shield;
Christ beside me on my left and my right.

Blessing

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
---

Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen


Opening Sentences

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.
Establish Thou the work of our hands;
establish Thou the work of our hands.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen

Declaration of faith

We believe and trust in God the Father Almighty.
We believe and trust in Jesus Christ His Son.
We believe and trust in the Holy Spirit.
We believe and trust in the Three in One.

Canticle

Teach us, dear Lord, to number our days; that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Oh, satisfy us early with Thy mercy,that we may rejoice and be glad all of our days. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands, dear Lord.

Blessing

Let nothing disturb thee, nothing affright thee;
all things are passing, God never changeth!

Patient endurance attaineth to all things;
who God possesseth in nothing is wanting;
alone God sufficeth.

In the name of the Father,and of the Son,and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
---

Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen


Opening sentences

My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.

Call & Response

Out of the depths I have cried to You. O Lord, hear my voice.
With my whole heart I want to praise You. O Lord, hear my voice.
If you, Lord, should mark iniquities: Who could stand? who could stand?

I will wait for the Lord. My soul waits, and in His word do I hope.

Expressions of faith

Lord, You have always given bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart, today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am, today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden, today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here, today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now, today I believe.

Scripture readings, Meditation, Prayers for others

Canticle

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

The Lord is my light, my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the refuge of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

One thing I ask of the Lord, one thing I seek;
to dwell in the presence of my God, to gaze on Your holy place.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

I believe I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. O wait for the Lord! Have courage and wait, wait for the Lord.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

Blessing

See that ye be at peace among yourselves, my children, and love one another. Follow the example of good men of old and God will comfort you and help you, both in this world and in the world which is to come.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

---

I enjoy praying through this at times, as it stills my heart, reminds me of God's character and that He in fact is trustworthy and worthy of praise and full obedience and that He is the one I desire, the one I desire to trust above all else, even though I may waiver.

That's the same reason why I enjoy reading from "The Valley of Vision," a collection of prayers from the puritans, full of depth, wisdom, and a close walk with the Lord. As I listened to some old hymns and read, I was reminded of Hebrews 12:1-3, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

I am reminded of my brothers and sisters in the faith here in Madrid, back home, around the world, in centuries past and in centuries to come and the great faith that the Lord gave them. I am also reminded of our Savior, the Lord Jesus, and his immense and profound and deep, deep love that "endured the cross" and then rose again. He conquered death and gives us life. Praise the Lord!

Psalm 37| Fret not yourself... Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself... Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil... those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land... the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace... the Lord upholds the righteous.

The Lord knows the days of the blameless, and their heritage will remain forever; they are not put to shame in evil times; in the days of famine they have abundance...

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand...

Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever. For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. They are preserved forever... The righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever. The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. The law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip...

Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off... The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."

Psalm 46 | "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah"

Psalm 23 | "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalm 34.8 | "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"

Psalm 42 | "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?”

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."


Psalm 43 | "Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause against an ungodly people, from the deceitful and unjust man deliver me! For you are the God in whom I take refuge; why have you rejected me? Why do I go about mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God."

Psalm 56.3-4, 8-11 | "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?...

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

:-)

my sewing creations...

So, the other day that I "relaxed" I worked on a ton of mending and finishing of adjusting skirts that didn't fit or were too long, or that were left behind by former roommates/visitors and that I needed to take in to fig and then finishing curtains and table clothes that i've meant to finish for over a year. So here is some of what I got done, not to mention the pants and such that I hemmed. I generally don't love mending clothes, but the result was definitely worth it. And I'm now excited for my next sewing & mending day. (In part because what I have now is either super-easy or working on actual sewing projects, like some dresses for upcoming weddings and such.) :-)

a little out of my league

Recently I've been hanging out with Maria, an olympic marathon runner. She started coming to our English club at the university and to other Ágape activities. More recently we've been running together, either in races or just for fun. She has been injured and thus isn't training seriously and, in fact, has needed to ease back into running, but that said she is a professional marathon runner. I have no idea why she wants to run with me, other than the fact that I just run for fun, not to compete, which I think she finds refreshing. And we've become friends.

That said, yesterday was not by any means my finest running day. It was hot, I was tired and since we ran along the highway and through a dusty forest I had allergies, so my breathing was shallow and I just didn't have the extra umph. We ran through casa del campo, a huge park on the edge of madrid and then came back to the sports center where all the professional & olympic runners train to stretch and shower. Maria keeps on complaining about how she's gaining weight in her legs, which is understandable, but at the same time is nothing compared to my normal weight or even my in great shape weight. Also, every few minutes she would say, "Hey, look over there. You see that guy/girl. He/she is the olympic champion of such-and-such and has one two gold medals and last year came in second (so a silver). This went on nearly the entire time we were there and I thought, what in the world am i doing here. Although I have to say it was fun. It made me think of running track and cross-country in high school and, while I am completely out of my league, it is fun to know that these are the champions of the world, or at least in Spain. And, since I am SO out of my league, I don't actually compare myself because it would make no sense whatsoever. And it is fun that I run with an olympian who continues to say, "I'm really impressed by you (talking about my running)." Again, I know I'm way out of my league, but it is fun and flattering. And I think she may be helping me train a bit more (we did run almost entirely hills the other day). :-)

summer!!!

it is feeling more and more like summer here every day. cafe con hielo (iced coffee) is becoming more and more a norm, which is VERY much something of summer. generally it's an espresso poured ice, but it can also be more like a cafe freddo (which is actually greek), which is espresso and milk poured over ice, or in my case cafe con soja over ice. :-) yum!!! and with my new skirts thanks to this past weekend and some time of sewing, mending, adjusting of old clothes or clothes left here by others, I am ready for the heat :-)

dreams of vacation...

I'm looking forward to a bit of vacation, a bit of disconnecting and escaping. I love my life and I love my job and where I live and all, but it would be good to escape a bit, to get away for a bit, to disconnect.

So I started to dream of vacation options (and while these may seem super exotic, since I live in Spain, it is not quite as far-fetched as it might seem). Here's what I came up with... The only problem is that I have vacation in August, with the rest of Europe, so prices are in the high season, which means it's going to take a bit more for it to be cost effective.

Greece - I'd love to go to Meteora and some of the places my family went when they spent 3 weeks in Greece and I was with them for just the last week. I'd love to go to Athens and just hang out, go to Meteora and some of the north, and go to Crete to hike the Gorge that I didn't quite make it to, oh and go to some beach wherever, maybe on some island, but a beautiful quiet beach. The main problem here is tickets are a bit pricier than I'd hoped.

Italy - somewhere in the northern coast, Cinque Terre or somewhere else beautiful, or some island. Somewhere new, but relaxing and somewhat secluded.

A Spanish Island - any of them, but again something tranquila, probably not Ibiza which is crazy and party central.

Or maybe southern Portugal, which is beautiful, a bit more secluded and quiet (at least when I last went 10 years ago in the spring). I could actually drive here which would make the cost cheaper. Hmmm... this might be what I do. Just have to look into alojamiento and some details and someone to go with me.

And, just for your curiosity, if money wasn't an issue, I probably would still pick one of the ones above, but I might also add something more like Israel or in the middle east (I've never been to either of them), or something around Thailand (again I've never been there), Egypt, Tunisia, Japan, etc., It's not the vacation I'm looking for right now, but India, Japan, Thailand, a more adventure vacation also sounds appealing, but for another time. :-)

time is ticking away...

how am i? hmm... that's a good question to which the basic answer is good, great. and yet i am a bit overwhelmed by how quickly time is passing and all the things i both need and desire to get done and yet seem to fall by the wayside.

then there is the other question of the fact that my biological clock seems to be ticking all the more loudly recently. i love my life and i like where i am, what i'm doing, etc., and yet have this nagging desire to be married and to have kids. it isn't old by any means, but in less than a month i turn 33 and have no real prospects in the potential spouse category. there are interests with whom nothing seems to be happening, even though the interest seems two ways. we're friends, but i guess "he's just not that into me" because nothing more has happened and it has been awhile. yeah, he's busy and has a lot on his plate, but still... and then another guy recently asked what it would take for me to move back to the states in a year and said some other things that implied more. but i have no intention of moving back to the states any time soon, not out of stubbornness, but because i feel like God has called me here (if not for longer, at least for now). he could move here, no? and who knows anyway. but then is he going the same direction as me? no lo sé.

ahhhh!!!! why me? i KNOW that God has all things in his hands and that he has not forgotten me in anyway nor turned his eyes aside, but right now I'm a bit impatient. i want babies! maybe not this second, maybe not even for a couple years, and maybe i don't understand all that that would bring. i'm not excited about giving up my independence, but i think i'd be willing. i just need the right guy, one that fits with me and with whom i'd want to spend the rest of my life. not someone perfect, because i'm not perfect either but someone with whom i fit. it seems like a lot to ask. i don't just want to make it work or find someone good enough. i don't want to get married, just to get married, or just to have babies. no, that's not what i want. it's not my desire to remain single, but it would be much better than to be unhappily married. and i know i don't want to settle. and yet i am presently a bit discontent and longing. oh, Lord, rescue me from this mess! i do trust His will and plan more than my own, but i do long for a partner in all of this and more now than in a long time. so, while life is good and i am honestly doing well, this is the honest truth of something that has been on my mind on and off for the past few months.

enjoying un día de relax

I just opened the window to my living room and silence. I live in the middle of Madrid, a city of 4 million inhabitants and silence? Okay, maybe not complete silence after a second or two, but just about, in comparison to the normal noise level. :-) It's been awhile since I've had a quiet day like today and I must say that I'm really enjoying it. Now off to mend some clothes and work on a couple dresses. :-)

Día de San Isidro, patron saint of Madrid

Today is a holiday here in Madrid, one for which I am extremely thankful. Somehow as of late most holidays have been just as busy as normal days for me, just with more big event type stuff (since most people are actually free on holidays). So, I am very much enjoying a quiet day off. I got up late and just laid in bed for a little while, am enjoying a long quiet time with the Lord, enjoying not being rushed, and hoping to get some cleaning at home done, caught up on things set aside, working on some sewing, painting, and knitting projects (a couple dresses i started in the fall, some paintings for the living room that are half done, and some sweaters for some newborn twins of some friends). I am overjoyed to say the least - to have time to just lay around and read and be creative...

So, who was San Isidro? No one seems to know, but this is his day supposedly. Typically people go to the grassy area of San Isidro today, dress up in typical madrileño garb and eat some special desserts of the day. Tradition says that Isidro was married to Santa María de la Cabeza (Saint Mary of the Head, because her head is often carried around in processions - or that's what wikipedia says). The following is also taken from wikipedia:

Isidore is widely venerated as the patron saint of peasants and day laborers, as he had been one himself. Isidore was born to very poor parents near Madrid, about the year 1070. He was in the service of the wealthy Madrid landowner Juan de Vargas on a farm in the vicinity of Madrid. Every morning before going to work, Isidore was accustomed to hearing a Mass at one of the churches in Madrid. One day his fellow-laborers complained to their master that Isidore was always late for work in the morning. Upon investigation, so runs the legend, the master found Isidore at prayer while an angel was doing the ploughing for him.

On another occasion, his master saw an angel ploughing on either side of him, so that Isidore's work was equal to that of three of his fellow-labourers. Isidore is also said to have brought back to life his master's deceased daughter, and to have caused a fountain of fresh water to burst from the dry earth in order to quench his master's thirst.

Isidore married Maria Torribia, a canonized saint, who is known as Santa María de la Cabeza in Spain because her head (cabeza in Spanish) is often carried in procession, especially during droughts. Isidore and Maria had one son, who died in his youth. On one occasion their son fell into a deep well and, at the prayers of his parents, the water of the well is said to have risen miraculously to the level of the ground, bringing the child with it, alive and well. Isidore and Maria then vowed continence and lived in separate houses.

Isidore died on May 15, 1130, at his birthplace close to Madrid. When King Philip III of Spain was cured of a deadly disease by touching the relics of the saint, the king replaced the old reliquary with a costly silver one.

So that's how the story goes.

tu gloria

"A veces te fallé, mas tú fuiste fiel,
Tu gracia me levantó, me basta tu amor,
Dios eterno, tu luz por siempre brillará
Y tu gloria, incomparable sin final.

Señor, tu voluntad permanecerá,
En ti me quiero perder en adoración,
Dios eterno, tu luz por siempre brillará
Y tu gloria, incomparable sin final.

De mi corazón te doy el control,
Te doy el control,
Consume todo mi interior, Dios.
Justicia y amor me abrazan, Señor,
Te amo desde mi interior.

Señor, tu voluntad permanecerá,
En ti me quiero perder en adoración,
Dios eterno, tu luz por siempre brillará
Y tu gloria, incomparable sin final.

De mi corazón te doy el control,
Te doy el control,
Consume todo mi interior, Dios.
Justicia y amor me abrazan, Señor,
Te amo desde mi interior.

Dios eterno, tu luz por siempre brillará,
Y tu gloria, incomparable sin final.
El clamor de mi ser es contigo estar
Desde mi interior, mi alma clamará.

De mi corazón te doy el control,
Te doy el control,
Consume todo mi interior, Dios.
Justicia y amor me abrazan, Señor,
Te amo desde mi interior.

//Dios eterno, tu luz por siempre brillará,
Y tu gloria, incomparable sin final.
El clamor de mi ser es contigo estar
Desde mi interior, mi alma clamará.//"

- "Desde mi interior" - En Espíritu y Verdad

"Our God Reigns"

"40 million babies lost to Gods great orphanage,
It’s a modern day genocide and a modern day disgrace
If this is a human right then why aren’t we free?
The only freedom we have is in a man nailed to a tree.

100 million faces, staring at the sky,
Wondering if this HIV will ever pass us by.
The devil stole the rain and hope trickles down the plug,
But still my Chinese take away could pay for someone’s drugs.

Our God reigns, Our God reigns,
Forever your kingdom reigns.

The west has found a gun and it’s loaded with ‘unsure’
Nip and tuck if you have the bucks in a race to find a cure.
Psalm one hundred and thirty nine is the conscience to our selfish crime,
God didn’t screw up when he made you,
He’s a father who loves to parade you.

Yes he reigns, yes you reign, yes you reign,
For there is only one true God,
But we’ve lost the reins on this world,
Forgive us all, forgive us please,
As we fight for this broken world on our knees."

Written by Delirious? ©2005 Curious? Music UK

"Here I am humbled by Your Majesty,
Covered by Your grace oh friend.
Here I am knowing I'm a sinful man,
Covered by the blood of the Lamb.
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in Your hands.

Here I am humbled by the love that You give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand,
Knowing that I am Your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrifice.

Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.

We're singing Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands.
We're singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the beauty of Your Majesty.
Majesty."
- "Majesty" - Delirious

cúan hermoso eres

"Cúan hermoso, eres Jesús -
Son tus palabras, es tu amor.

Cúan glorioso, eres Jesús -
Es tu poder, fue tu cruz.

La que me salvó y me rescató,
Un momento allí, me hizo libertad.

///Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria, Jesús.///

Cúan hermoso, eres Jesús -
Son tus palabras, es tu amor.

Cúan glorioso, eres Jesús -
Es tu poder, fue tu cruz.

La que me salvó y me rescató,
Un momento allí, me hizo libertad.

///Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria, Jesús.///

///Con una corona de espinos,
Te hiciste Rey por siempre///

///Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria.
Te doy gloria, gloria, Jesús.//"

-"Te doy gloria" - En Espíritu y Verdad

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." John 6.68-69

God's perfect provision

I'm in the midst of translating and preparing for the discussion group tonight on "Identity." I just finished translating the introduction to the time - why we have this group, what we hope to provide and achieve through it, the type of ambiance we hope to create, and why we think it important to talk about deep issues in life. It's ironic because I've translated this same text before, but did again since what I have before me is in english and didn't feel like looking up the former translation (knowing also that I had since tweaked it a bit).

I finished this section and went to get some tea from the kitchen and thought, "Gosh, I'm really going to miss Dave and the MTW team that I've been working with the past year (when they, at least in theory, leave in a year)." I've also been thinking more frequently about the desire to be married and have someone alongside me in all of this. The thought then came to mind, "These two couples are God's provision for you right now. God is faithful and He will provide for you in the future the same way as he is in the present and has in the past. He knows the plans that He has for you, to bless you and to prosper what He has called you to."

Wow! It's so true and yet it's so easy for me to get caught up in "what if's" and in what I see before me. I forget what it means to walk by faith with my hopes, dreams, desires, and needs firmly secure in God's hands. :-) It's a bit ironic since what I now need to finish putting onto paper are questions about what identity is, how it is formed, why it matters who we are, how God and faith play into all of this, and why we so desire to be known, to be loved, to be accepted, and to know who we are and our place in this world...

I am in the presence of someone great and that thankfully I can't fully get my head around nor fully understand why he does what he does when and how he does. :-)

running

running... it is something i love to do, that gives me life, and that i love to do. i love the way it makes me feel, the way my body feels when i'm running consistently and pushing myself. :-) sunday i ran a 6k, monday i went to the gym briefly and then running with a friend, last night my roommates and i went to the park - two of us had an incredible run where we both ran hard and pushed each other, probably the hardest i've run in awhile, and the other one walked, and this morning i went on a light early morning run with a friend. it feels great to be back in the groove. after sunday, my muscles have been a little sore and tight which had been part of the motivation to keep running, so that they won't really hurt; running the following day seems to keep the lactic acid from building up. there is some logic to it. after last week of running very little (due to being out of town and then exhausted), i've definitely been motivated. not to mention the great weather and the fact that students are starting to get busy with finals, which gives me a bit more time. anyway, i don't have much to right other than that i'm LOVING running and having company to do so. :-) happy spring!

intimidad

"Quiero estar en intimidad contigo
Enfocar mi vida una vez a tu majestad.
Dejando atrás el miedo y el dolor,
Confiando en tu mirada, dejando ardar mi llama por ti.

Como te deseo, como te deseo, como te deseo.

Mi deseo es agradar tu corazón.
Todo mi afecto, mi vida y mi razón.
Se levantará al cielo, habita en mi interior,
Eres el aire que respiro, que alienta y me levanta...

Como te deseo, como te deseo, como te deseo.
Como te deseo, como te deseo, como te deseo."

-- "Intimidad," Alabanza Misión Posible

early morning reflections

Here are a few excerpts from "The Valley of Vision" that I read this morning as well as some great passages of Scripture and some brief reflections. It was a sweet time with the Lord, so thought I'd share some of it:

"...Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
All things in me call for my rejection,
All things in thee plead my acceptance.
I appeal from the throne of perfect justice
to thy throne of boundless grace...

Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
that by thy stripes I am healed,
that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
that thou hast been made sin for me,
that I might be righteous in thee,
that my grievous sins, my manifold sins,
are all forgiven,
buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.

I am guilty, but pardoned,
lost, but saved,
wandering, but found,
sinning, but cleansed.

Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
Keep me always clinging to thy cross,
Flood me every moment with descending grace,
Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
sparkling like crystal,
flowing clear and unsullied
through my wilderness of life." Amen.

-- excerpt from "The Broken Heart" from Valley of Vision

"...My sin is that my heart is pleased or troubled as things please or trouble me, without my having a regard to Christ;

Thus, I am like Eli, the subject of punishment for not rebuking sin; whereas I should humbly confess my sin and fly to the blood for pardon and peace.

Give me, then, repentance, true brokenness, lasting contrition, for these things thou wilt not despise in spite of my sins."

-- excerpt from "Passion" from Valley of Vision

Filipenses 3:7-11, "... Pero todo eso, que antes era muy valioso para mí, ahora, a causa de Cristo, lo tengo por algo sin valor. Aún más, a NADA concedo valor cuando lo comparo con el bien supremo de conocer a Cristo Jesus, mi Señor. Por causa de Cristo lo he perdido todo, y todo lo considero basura a cambio de ganarlo a él y encontrarme unido a él; no por una justicia propia basada en la obedencia a la ley, sino por la fe en Cristo, por lo cual Dios me hace justo. Lo que quiero es conocer a Cristo, sentir en mi el poder de su resurrección, tomar parte en sus sufrimientos y llegar a ser como él en su muerte, con la esperanza de alcanzar la resurrección de los muertos."

Philippians 3:7-11, "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

Salmo/Psalm 27

Lucás/Luke 10:36-37, 41-42

Mateo/Matthew 11:28-30
Juan/John 6:33-40
Jeremías/Jeremiah 6.16

I don't have time to write more now, so I may edit it later, but here are the other passages I looked at (minus my reflections). Enjoy! :-)