Today is a day that I am SOOO very thankful for a little time to go to the gym & then to run, to relax and disconnect, to think & process life, to just be and not have to solve any problems, not be able to be interrupted, not having to do anything but run,... I love the now familiar sounds, I love looking up at the sky, I love the repetitive motion and pushing myself. It is so nice. And I'm so grateful for time to disconnect and forget all the problems of my day. And then the benefit of feeling great and having little endorphins (the runner's high of sorts) that help me have a new perspective on life. And today was one day that I really needed to disconnect. Somehow problem after problem seemed to pop out of no where and just bog me down a bit. So getting out and disconnecting and getting perspective was GOOD, very GOOD.

today i am resting. i got back last night around 11pm after a weekend of meetings in barcelona, which by the way went well. staff from around spain and students met to plan a retreat we have in march about discipleship. it was fun to watch mel, a student from madrid, as she gave input and processed both stuff she's been learning and things we talked about there. there were supposed to be several students from across spain, but in the end it was just mel.

today, i'm resting, which today means watching a movie, blogging, cleaning & doing laundry, going to the gym, journaling & spending time with Jesus, and maybe going for a walk or something. later on this week, a team from n. california gets here to help with our english immersion weekend & a thanksgiving dinner (and just to see what we do) and a friend of mine from st. peters is also going to join us, which is really fun!

as i rest, i'm also thinking through some things i need to do this week. and also things i'd like to do. one thing i'd really like to do is make a plan for redecorating the living room, entryway and hall. it's been awhile that i've wanted to do this, but it seems that i've only made time to take baby steps. if not before, christmas seems like the perfect time to work on it a bit more. some other things that need to get done are Christmas gifts (some of which i'd really like to be handmade), ordering some books from amazon, finishing some sewing projects, cleaning, updating my ministry website, etc., so... i just finished my movie and need to tackle both the laundry from the trip and my room that has seen the effects of being way too busy and being in and out of town a bit too frequently.

thoughts on a sabbath rest

I've been reading "The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanan, which has been good, really refreshing, and it seems to fall in step with various things God is teaching me. This morning and then now as I read a quote on a friend's blog ("We have to remember to stop because we have to stop to remember." - Judith Shulevitz, Bring Back the Sabbath) , this book and many other little puzzle pieces come together a bit more. So, here below are some of quotes I've appreciated from Mark Buchanan's book on sabbath resting. I'm about halfway through the book and could put many more quotes here, but this will suffice for now.

“Sanctifying some time adds richness to all time, just as an hour with the one you love brings light and levity to the hours that follow. To spend time with the object of your desire is to emerge, not sullen and peevish, but elated and refreshed. you come away filled, not depleted.

The Greeks understood. Embedded in their language, expressed in two distinct words for ‘time,’ is an intuition about the possibility of sanctified time. Time, they knew, has two faces, two natures. It exists in two separate realms,...One is sacred time, the other profane.

The first word is chronos... It is the time of clock and calendar, time as a gauntlet, time as a forced march. The word derives from one of the gods in the Greek pantheon. Chronos was a nasty minor deity, a glutton and a cannibal who gorged himself on his own children. He was always consuming, never consummated. Goya depicted him in his work ‘Chronos Devouring His Children.’ In the painting, Chronos is gaunt and ravenous, wild-eyed with hunger. He crams a naked, bloody-stumped figure into his gaping mouth. peter Paul Rubens depicted Chronos even more alarmingly: a father viciously biting into his son’s chest and tearing the flesh away, the boy arching backward in shock and pain.

Chronos is the presiding deity of the driven.

The second Greek word is kairos. This is time as gift, as opportunity, as season. It is time pregnant with purpose. In kairos time you ask, not ‘What time is it?’ but ‘What is this time FOR?’ Kairos is the servant of holy purpose. ‘There is a time for everything,’ Ecclesiastes says, ‘and a season for every activity under heaven.’

‘A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot, ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,...
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace, (3:1-2, 5-8)...” (p. 36-37, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)



“The Chinese join two characters to form a single pictograph for busyness: heart and killing. That is stunningly incisive. The heart of the place the busy life exacts its steepest toll...

One measure for whether or not you’re rested enough... is to ask yourself this: How much do I care about the things I care about? When we lose concern for people,...when we cease to laugh...or weep; when we hear news of trouble among our neighbors and our first thought is that we hope it isn’t going to involve us-- when we stop caring about the things we care about-- that’s a signal we’re too busy. We have let ourselves be consumed by the things that feed the ego but starve the soul.

Busyness kills the heart... Busyness makes us stop caring about the things we care about. And not only that. Busyness also robs us of knowing God the way we might... other facets of God we discover only through stillness. ‘Be still,’ the psalm instructs,’and know that I am God’ (Ps. 46:10)” (p.45, 48, 49, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)

breathe

Strong Weakness - from Village Thrift, Enter the Worship Circle

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can bring me to my knees.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can rescue me, rescue me from me.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who will color love, You cover me.

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who can pull me from the grave.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who thinks I’m good, good enough to save.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who will color love, you cover me.

Oh, amazing!!! I love this music and I love the Lord! Amazing!!!

I've kind of had a melancholy day and couldn't quite put my finger on why until I sat down and realized, (1) I'm exhausted, (2) I had a crappy weekend, which I thought was going to be relaxing and restful but was frustrating, tiring, draining,... and that on top of that that I was frustrated that I was frustrated (which I'm realizing happens more often than I had previously thought), and (3) I haven't had good time with the Lord today, in His word, letting it wash me and renew me.

So, here I am, resting in the Lord and being renewed and refreshed, given life again. No wonder the Lord talks about a sabbath rest, where we rest from our works. I am seeing the results of not always taking a day to rest and be refreshed and renewed and I am learning how to do that in a very abnormal schedule. Ahh....refreshment... ahh... rest... ah... renewal and resting from working... (even if I love my life and my "job" and such, I still need time for me and time to be refreshed - a fact which I forget way too easily...)

:-) I'm listening to "my favorites" on my itunes and Paul Oakenfold just came on. Not necessarily "spiritual" music, but I love it. I think the Lord smiles as I listen to it. It makes me smile. :-) I love this mix!

Now onto Caedmon's Call - "Only Hope"

Depth of mercy, can there be
Mercy still reserved for me,
Can my God, your wrath forbear,
Me, the chief of sinners, spare

Chorus
It's my only hope,
You're my only hope,
It's my only hope of Heaven,
At the cross forgiven

I have long withstood your grace,
King, provoked you to your face,
Would not harken to your calls,
Grieved you by a thousand falls,

Chorus

There for me the Savior stands,
Shows his wounds and spreads His hands,
Face to face before the Son
And like Isaiah I'm undone

Depth of mercy, vast and free,
So much deeper than the sea,
God of love, you heard my cry,
Now into your open arms I fly

Chorus

I'll make another post for my thoughts and readings, since this one is getting kind of long. :-) Oh, now we're onto Guster, "Satellite." I have to say, GREAT MUSIC!!!!

"You Never Let Go" - Mat Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Chorus 2x's)