for who you are

All this thinking about social justice and the world and change and the like, both in respect to me and the world, brings me back to Jesus. So, here are a couple videos I just watched that remind me of who God is and also echo the cry of my heart to follow my Creator, Lord, and Savior.

Bing Crosby & Nostalgia

I'm sick. And it seems progress- ively more so every minute. It is true that I could feel WAY worse. And for once I am thankful for my neighbor Jose Maria's blaring music through the wall. Today it's Christmas music. The old stuff. Like Bing Crosby. The stuff I grew up on. Okay... I'm going to sleep a bit more but "May your days be merry and bright. And may all your Christmases be bright."

I may feel like poop but it's nice to have some nostalgic music, that makes me feel at home.

Note: I have to say that I LOVE that White Christmas pics came up when I searched pictures of Bing Crosby. I love old movies like White Christmas & Casablanca & Miracle on 34th Street & Meet Me In St. Louis & all the old musical I grew up with. Happy nostalgia...

music - random musings

It's interesting how much a role music plays in my life. Okay, maybe that sounds more dramatic than I intend. Anyway... Music. Music is there to either help change my mood, to help me to process, or to sit with me in whatever mood I may be in, whether it be pure joy, excitement, music to dance to, or sad, melancholy, pensive, mourning, or angry, punch someone, mad at the world, or whatever... I have mixes for a plethora of emotions, or I have certain artists or genres that I turn to when I am sad and want to momentarily snap out of it, or want to just dwell in my emotion, or want to work through and move forward. So interesting. I can just turn on certain songs and it takes me to the place I need to be, or helps me listen to the words and move forward. And I know I'm so speaking in vagueness, but recently some songs have changed, or for me they have. I have no idea what the song was intended for, nor do I actually want to know, but at one point I heard one thing and now I hear another. There's some postmo thoughts for you. :-) Anyway, I am thankful for good friends, but also for good music.

BTW right now I'm listening to Over the Rhine, which I've listened to more times than I can count over the past few months. It's somehow been like a soft blanket or a pair of running shoes in the midst of processing life. And even if the music in itself isn't happy, smiley music, it inevitably lifts my mood and helps me to walk forward being okay with the mix of emotions inside me. I don't have to be happy, smiley. I can just be me and can be happy but also can be sad and in process.

Lists

So, somehow I hate just pitching the lists of movies I've watched, music I was listening to, books I've read,... So I just went back through the sidebar and while I did delete the books without thinking here are some bands I was listening to more before (not to say now i dislike them, i just haven't listened to them much as of late), or had discovered and thought were cool, and films I've watch probably the first half of the year. The lists are updated as of the past couple months (ie summer).

Music Finds & List
- Tune Yards
- Alabanza Misión Posible
- Assemble - my brother
- Marta Gomez
- Waterdeep
- Village Thrift
- Chris Tomlin
- Innocence Mission
- Ray LaMontagne
- Corinne Bailey Rae

Films
- Pollock
- Hurt Locker (En Tierra Hostíl)
- Okuribito (Despedidas) - Japanese
- Contact
- Big Fish
- A River Runs Through It
- Dead Poets' Society
- Invictus
- The Hedgehog (El Erizo) - French
- Bride & Prejudice
- Water
- The Namesake
- The Reader
- Avatar
- The Boys Are Back
- Whip It!
- Paper Heart
- In America
- Cold Souls
- The Class (french)
- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le Scaphandre et le Papillon - French)
- The Orphanage (El Orfanato - Spanish)
- Doubt
- Dancer in the Dark
- Into the Wild
- Elephant
- The Mission
- Sunshine Cleaning
- Sin Nombre
- The Journey of the Red Ballon (Le Voyage du Ballon Rouge - French)
- American History X
- Julia & Julia
- Thin Red Line
- Pleasantville
- No Country For Old Men
- I Love You, New York
- The Secret Life of Bees
- District 9
- Where The Wild Things Are
- Almost Famous
- Dogville
- Up
- High Fidelity
- There Will Be Blood
- The Squid and the Whale
- Smart People
- Precious
- Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

"Jesus cast a look on me,
Give me sweet simplicity.
Make me poor and keep me low,
Seeking only Thee to know.

Please defeat my busy pride
Cast it ever more aside
Bid my will to Thine submit,
Lay thee humbly at Thy feet.

Make me like a little child,
Of my strength and wisdom spoil,
Seeing only in Thy light,
Walking only in Thy might.

Leaning on Thy loving breast,
Where a weary soul can rest.
Feeling well the peace of God,
Flowing from His precious blood.

In this posture let me live,
And Hosanna's daily gift
In this temper let me die
And hosannas ever cry."

"Someday You Will Be Loved"

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

sooooo good

So, here's the playlist for the Dark Was the Night: Red Hot Compilation. It is SOOO good, as the teen girl squad would say. And it really is. It's what I'm loving to listen to these days. And it somehow always cheers me up. Nice.

DARK WAS THE NIGHT

THIS DISC
1 Knotty Pine – Dirty Projectors + David Byrne
2 Cello Song (Nick Drake) – The Books featuring Jose Gonzalez
3 Train Song (Vashti Bunyan recorded, written by Alasdair Clayre) – Feist + Ben Gibbard
4 Brackett, WI – Bon Iver
5 Deep Blue Sea – Grizzly Bear
6 So Far Around the Bend – The National (arrangement by Nico Muhly)
7 Tightrope – Yeasayer
8 Feeling Good (popularized by Nina Simone) – My Brightest Diamond
9 Dark Was the Night (Blind Willie Johnson) – Kronos Quartet
10 I Was Young When I Left Home (Bob Dylan) – Antony + Bryce Dessner
11 Big Red Machine – Justin Vernon + Aaron Dessner
12 Sleepless – The Decemberists
13 Stolen Houses (Die) – Iron and Wine
14 Service Bell – Grizzly Bear + Feist
15 You Are The Blood – Sufjan Stevens

THAT DISC
1 Well-Alright – Spoon
2 Lenin – Arcade Fire
3 Mimizan – Beirut
4 El Caporal – My Morning Jacket
5 Inspiration Information (Shuggie Otis) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
6 With A Girl Like You (The Troggs) – Dave Sitek
7 Blood Pt 2 (based on original song “You are the Blood” by the Castanets) – Buck 65 Remix (featuring Sufjan Stevens and Serengeti)
8 Hey, Snow White (Destroyer) – The New Pornographers
9 Gentle Hour (Snapper) – Yo La Tengo
10 Another Saturday (traditional song) – Stuart Murdoch
11 Happiness – Riceboy Sleeps
12 Amazing Grace (traditional song) – Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues
13 The Giant Of Illinois (Handsome Family) – Andrew Bird
14 Lua – Conor Oberst + Gillian Welch
15 When the Road Runs Out – Blonde Redhead + Devastations
16 Love vs. Porn – Kevin Drew

dark was the night

I have said it before, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Dark Was The Night Compilation. It's an excellent mix of incredible musicians, pretty much all indie stuff and oh so good!

A mighty Fortress is our God,
A Bulwark never failing;
Our Helper He amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing;
For still our ancient Foe
Doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great,
And, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.
Did we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God's own choosing;
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth His Name,
From age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us;
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us;
The Prince of Darkness grim,
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers,
No thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours
Through Him who with us sideth;
Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also;
The body they may kill;
God's truth abideth still,
His Kingdom is forever. Amen.

Martin Luther, 1529

mindy smith

Mindy Smith is quickly becoming someone I listen to now and again. I love her voice. It somewhat reminds me of Alison Krauss and Nickel Creek. Good stuff. But a little too depressing for me to listen to more than de vez y cuando.

the black eyed peas

Somehow all day I've had "I've Got A Feeling" in my head, which is one of the great songs of the year, in my book. And you've gotta love the Black Eyed Peas. Somehow I love the mix of rap and dance music. I love the beat and the evolution of their music.

regina spektor

hmm... definitely another great musician. and somehow the song "Eet" is definitely up there on my list of songs. it's on my list of happy music.

joanna newsom

Joanna Newsom is quickly becoming one of my favorite music artists. She has such a solid but whimsical sound and I love the fact that it's youthful playfulness somehow puts me in a good mood. It makes me feel happy and like I'm outside running through a field or frolicking. Okay, I know that sounds cheesy. Anyway, I think Joanna Newsome is awfully swell.

Corinne Bailey Rae - that's what I'm listening to right now. It's amazing how music can change your mood and somehow make it all better. I think music is somehow part of God's common grace to us. It is part of the world that reflects a better place and that can make us feel at home, content, and just happy.

Right now I'm seeing more of the brokenness of life and the world and my little world and yet I know, at least in my head, that isn't the full picture. Hmm... thank goodness for happy music. "Just like a star" and the rest of that album is shining some sun on my rainy, dark day, which in reality isn't all that dark.

little things

i am fully aware of the fact that at times i make no sense. today i was in a horrible mood for the latter part of the day for NO reason whatsoever (other than purely hormonal, which is actually nice to know). the day started off great and nothing today happened that changed that reality. in fact, life in general is good. yet i realized i was extremely irritated by the smallest and stupidest of things. I could list the reasons, but there is no sense in it. so, i went to the gym. fortunately today was cardio day, so i did weights with various aerobic stuff in between. it was a good, or better great, workout. in fact, it gave me enough motivation to then go for a run, which was the best idea yet! it was raining lightly and somehow it just put me in the giddiest of moods. it was dark, so only the lights around the track through this park i go to were lit. my eyes were half closed due to the rain that continued to come down. and somehow most of the runners were dressed in blue coats of various shades. strange.

i got there, passed a few guys, which of course made me feel great. (and made me then run harder, so they wouldn't turn around to pass me - since a girl had just passed them, which honestly at times seems their motivation.) i was running alright and kept on convincing myself to go just a little longer, either with the motivation of "you can at least make it to the next turn", "you can at least make it to the end of this lap", "at least pass the guy up ahead in the blue jacket before you finish", or "if the blue jacket guy (a different one) up ahead keeps going then you have to too." and the fact that there were so many blue men, both made me laugh and somehow who ever i decided to pace myself with or pass magically would disappear. go figure. i know this whole dialogue is funny, but it works. i am definitely both competitive and motivated by little things. in fact, as i was running, i was thinking how silly i am - that some light rain, and the fact that i was running in the rain on what was progressively becoming a more and more beautiful night, was making me so happy when not that much before i was rationalizing with myself why it made no sense that i was in a bad mood.

later i got home, changed, grabbed some money and went to get some food for dinner at the grocery store, and put some music on. i originally put some dance music on and electronic stuff, but somehow while i was talking to my roommate it changed to death cab for cutie, which i LOVE. and which i had forgotten how much i love and how happy it too can make me. go figure. i have no clue. again, i know that at times i can be fairly illogical. but sometimes the little things - rain, a good workout, some great music - can make all the difference.

tunes

I've been wanting some new music to add to my itunes and pulled out some stuff i listened to at my brother's. I've been loving the Dark Was the Night compilation as well as some of the artists featured on it such as Grizzly Bear, Beirut, Sufjan Stevens, Tune-Yards and some others of whom I'm forgetting the names.

Music is a wonderful thing. I love how it can transport you to somewhere else, how it can somehow move you in a way much deeper than mere words.

So, I just have to say that while it is definitely a girly movie, You've Got Mail is definitely up there in the movie world. And I love the music. I'm listening to it right now and it makes me feel reminiscent. About what, I'm not quite sure. But it does make me happy. It makes me think of daisies and witty monologues about pencils and butterflies on metros and you've just got to love about a million things about that movie. Hmm....

Well, I don't actually have much to say, but I do think the guy who did the music, George somebody, is a genius, as is the playwright. Oh, I just finished the music. :-) I guess on to other things.

breathe

Strong Weakness - from Village Thrift, Enter the Worship Circle

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can bring me to my knees.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can rescue me, rescue me from me.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who will color love, You cover me.

No matter what i do my weakness is stronger than me,
How can i be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will you turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For i am your child; I am the work of your hands.
No matter what i do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults... only your love will not fail.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who can pull me from the grave.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who thinks I’m good, good enough to save.

You are the one, you are the only one
Who will color love, you cover me.

Oh, amazing!!! I love this music and I love the Lord! Amazing!!!

I've kind of had a melancholy day and couldn't quite put my finger on why until I sat down and realized, (1) I'm exhausted, (2) I had a crappy weekend, which I thought was going to be relaxing and restful but was frustrating, tiring, draining,... and that on top of that that I was frustrated that I was frustrated (which I'm realizing happens more often than I had previously thought), and (3) I haven't had good time with the Lord today, in His word, letting it wash me and renew me.

So, here I am, resting in the Lord and being renewed and refreshed, given life again. No wonder the Lord talks about a sabbath rest, where we rest from our works. I am seeing the results of not always taking a day to rest and be refreshed and renewed and I am learning how to do that in a very abnormal schedule. Ahh....refreshment... ahh... rest... ah... renewal and resting from working... (even if I love my life and my "job" and such, I still need time for me and time to be refreshed - a fact which I forget way too easily...)

:-) I'm listening to "my favorites" on my itunes and Paul Oakenfold just came on. Not necessarily "spiritual" music, but I love it. I think the Lord smiles as I listen to it. It makes me smile. :-) I love this mix!

Now onto Caedmon's Call - "Only Hope"

Depth of mercy, can there be
Mercy still reserved for me,
Can my God, your wrath forbear,
Me, the chief of sinners, spare

Chorus
It's my only hope,
You're my only hope,
It's my only hope of Heaven,
At the cross forgiven

I have long withstood your grace,
King, provoked you to your face,
Would not harken to your calls,
Grieved you by a thousand falls,

Chorus

There for me the Savior stands,
Shows his wounds and spreads His hands,
Face to face before the Son
And like Isaiah I'm undone

Depth of mercy, vast and free,
So much deeper than the sea,
God of love, you heard my cry,
Now into your open arms I fly

Chorus

I'll make another post for my thoughts and readings, since this one is getting kind of long. :-) Oh, now we're onto Guster, "Satellite." I have to say, GREAT MUSIC!!!!

"You Never Let Go" - Mat Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

(Chorus)

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Chorus 2x's)

Music Revisited

Okay, this is actually much later than the date says, but I'm finally getting around to filing the music I've been listening to recently. And since it isn't actually what is presently true, or not fully, I figured I should post the list I've had and start again, the same as I've done with movies and books. Enjoy!

Music I've Been Listening To Recently (in no real order):

"Across the Universe" Soundtrack
"Once" Soundtrack
Leigh Nash
Black Eyed Peas
Jesús Adrian Romero
Carla Bruni
Interpol
Assemble - my brother
Ni Uno Bueno
My Dear Flotsam
This Grace
The Shins
Guster
Caedmon's Call
Derek Webb
Alternativa
The Shins
Norah Jones
Colony
Paul Oakenfold
Rojo
Rescate
Julieta Venegas
Weezer

Some songs I was listening to today...

The Lord seems to often speak to me through music. Here are a couple songs I was listening to today that spoke to my heart.

Mi Jesús mi amado - Jesús Adrian Romero
My Jesus, My Beloved/Love

Vengo a rendirme a tus pies agradecido Señor
I come to surrender myself at your feet thankfully, God
Me perdonaste cambiaste mi corazón
You forgave me, you changed my heart
Tu vida diste por mí en una muerte tan cruel
Your life that you gave for me in a horribly cruel death
Por que me amaste siendo yo un vil pecador.
Because you loved me, even as a vile sinner.

Quiero postrarme ante ti Jesús y en silencio
I want to bow down before you, Jesus, and in silence
Reconocer que tu amor por mi no merezco.
Recognize that your love for me is unearned / unmerited.
Mi Jesús mi amado
My Jesus, my Love/Beloved

Quiero postrarme ante ti para adorar Mi Jesús mi amado
I want to bow down before you to worship, my Jesus, my Love
Quiero regar con mis lágrimas tus pies
I want to shower your feet with my tears
Quiero besarlos y así permanecer
I want to kiss your feet and there remain
Y derramar ante ti todo mi ser.
And pour out before you all that I am
---

Take Me - Don Chaffer

"Old ain't a word the I'm fond of," he said.
"And these days I've begun to lose count."
Mumbling she rolls in her wheelchair, and says,
"I'm afraid that they've closed my account."

There's a blur that occurs in the line of their life
That decays the whole notion of sense
And they call to the past, insisting that it last,
While they're climbing down reality's fence

Singing with me
Take me
Take me
Write my name in the most Holy Tome
And when it's my time
To assume the sublime,
Take me to my promised home

And their hands aren't gnarled, they're in love with the earth
And they're dying to go there again
We say the essence of life is strong in our youth,
Slowly buried under wrinkles of skin

But there's God in the way that life comes to an end,
In the way that it draws to a close,
In the saying of soul to the house of the skin,
You're too weak now to really oppose.

Take me
Take me
Write my name in the most Holy Tome
And when it's my time
To assume the sublime,
Take me to my promised home
---

Center - Charlie Hall

You’re the center of the universe
Everything was made in You Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for You

:Pre-Chorus:
You hold everything together
You hold everything together

:chorus:
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives


We lift our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around your life
We lift our eyes to heaven, to You