little things

i am fully aware of the fact that at times i make no sense. today i was in a horrible mood for the latter part of the day for NO reason whatsoever (other than purely hormonal, which is actually nice to know). the day started off great and nothing today happened that changed that reality. in fact, life in general is good. yet i realized i was extremely irritated by the smallest and stupidest of things. I could list the reasons, but there is no sense in it. so, i went to the gym. fortunately today was cardio day, so i did weights with various aerobic stuff in between. it was a good, or better great, workout. in fact, it gave me enough motivation to then go for a run, which was the best idea yet! it was raining lightly and somehow it just put me in the giddiest of moods. it was dark, so only the lights around the track through this park i go to were lit. my eyes were half closed due to the rain that continued to come down. and somehow most of the runners were dressed in blue coats of various shades. strange.

i got there, passed a few guys, which of course made me feel great. (and made me then run harder, so they wouldn't turn around to pass me - since a girl had just passed them, which honestly at times seems their motivation.) i was running alright and kept on convincing myself to go just a little longer, either with the motivation of "you can at least make it to the next turn", "you can at least make it to the end of this lap", "at least pass the guy up ahead in the blue jacket before you finish", or "if the blue jacket guy (a different one) up ahead keeps going then you have to too." and the fact that there were so many blue men, both made me laugh and somehow who ever i decided to pace myself with or pass magically would disappear. go figure. i know this whole dialogue is funny, but it works. i am definitely both competitive and motivated by little things. in fact, as i was running, i was thinking how silly i am - that some light rain, and the fact that i was running in the rain on what was progressively becoming a more and more beautiful night, was making me so happy when not that much before i was rationalizing with myself why it made no sense that i was in a bad mood.

later i got home, changed, grabbed some money and went to get some food for dinner at the grocery store, and put some music on. i originally put some dance music on and electronic stuff, but somehow while i was talking to my roommate it changed to death cab for cutie, which i LOVE. and which i had forgotten how much i love and how happy it too can make me. go figure. i have no clue. again, i know that at times i can be fairly illogical. but sometimes the little things - rain, a good workout, some great music - can make all the difference.