Sleeplessness... and random ramblings..

Unfortunately, I am wide awake at 2:45 am and part of my unablity to fall asleep is the neighbor's tv BLARING through the wall. It's actually not an uncommon occurrence, but usually I just pray, ask the Lord to help me sleep and then just begin to talk to God, and somewhere in the midst, I eventually fall asleep. Not tonight.

Somehow his tv, which ironically sounds like Pekín Express a show I really like, has enough fluctuations in tone and noise that I can't help but to listen to it. And it's, as usual, turned up pretty loud. I'm guessing he is actually asleep, or fading in and out of sleep as it seems is common for old men.

So... I'm blogging for a bit and then will try to go to sleep. Hmm... or maybe I'll try to finish my book, which only has about 20 pages left. I have energy to get up and do something, but if I do that it's doubtful I'll get to sleep before 4 o 5. I'm turning into my brother. Oh, the joys of sharing a wall with an insomniac neighbor with hearing problems.

Okay, now they're singing "La Bamba" on the tv. Honestly I'm more humored than frustrated. I just know rationally that I should be sleeping instead of typing and yet half want to turn on the tv and find the show he's watching, but it's nearly impossible for me to fall asleep to something I'm actually somewhat interested in, unless I'm dead tired. Okay, enough rambling for now.

Okay... so some commercials are now on and just a couple notes from a completely unrelated song now have "we used to wait" in my head by Arcade Fire. I actually love the song but have a feeling I'm going to fall asleep with it in my head. Oh, wait. Now a clip of Lady Gaga's "bad romance" just came on. Oh, now he's switching channels... a game show... changing again... a cooking show? at 2:55am? really? Well, this is much lest dynamic...I can probably sleep to this. Oh, shoot, now we're on news, I think. Probably also good sleeping tv. We'll see... This may not be exciting to read, but I'm fairly humored by my play-by-play of the neighbor's late night tv watching through the noise of my bedroom wall. Now we're back on commercials, which as always are louder than the normal tv noises. But at least we're on a talk show or some news sort of show. Should be good for sleeping. Night.

Note: Yoshitomo Nara is the artist of the picture above, one of my sister's favorite artists and actually one i like a lot too. this piece is called sleepless, which seemed appropriate.

unlimiting God

This is the book I read today. I have a pile of books I'm trying to get through during Christmas and this is the first one I've finished (or almost, I think I have 15 ish pages left, so basically done.)

And I'll have to come back and write my thoughts out, but it's pretty good. It challenges you in the part we play in our walk with God, about whether or not we trust Him to do big things in our lives and the world, whether or not we are stepping out in faith, whether or not we take the time to wait and hear from the Lord, whether or not we are putting ourselves in a place to grow. It's good. And it is both challenging and inspiring. Anyway, figured I'd post at least a little snippet for now.

Lykke Li

Ok, so I just found a new musical artist that I love! Lykke Li is swedish and the music is AMAZING!!! Oh, and some of the lyrics are genius. I absolutely love the first video below, Dance Dance Dance! ¡Disfruta!!! Enjoy!

the black swan

Wow! I'm blown away. I just watched the black swan with Natalie Portman and it's amazing!!! In fact, the best of the film is the last thirty minutes or so, in my opinion.

It is incredible how the character of the swan princess is developed. It was incredible! Excellent performance by Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. And the dancing is obviously beautiful. Just as you would guess from the title and trailer, the film is dark and Portman's obsession with perfection and personifying the swan princess drives her to transform before your eyes on the silver screen. While before a timid, soft-spoken, controlled and submissive young girl, she plays with fire with the help of her director and Mila to personify the darkness of the black swan. In the film her transformation is primarily shown through sexual experimentation and breaking out of the submissive and obedient girl of before in her relationships with others. Instead of the timid, soft-spoken girl of before she becomes a angry, fierce and passionate woman both on and off-stage. It really was incredible! And it is interesting how the lines between reality and fantasy are blurred and there are quite a few points where what you think is real later is shown to be fiction. The final ballet is amazing, particularly the dance of the black swan. Anyway, it's my favorite film thus far of my holiday film-watching. (Although, just to let you know there is a decent amount of sexual content that is somewhat intense. It's part of Portman's transformation into the dark swan. So, just to let you know so you're forewarned.)

So...I'm hoping to tackle The American (El Americano) and Biutiful as well as some of the films on our un-narrowed down film night list for the spring. (Not to mention the huge pile of books I'm hoping to make my way through.) As always, I'd LOVE recommendations for film night. Basically, films that have strong themes to discuss afterward, that have developed characters, that are just good films,... Oh, and if you can think of good foreign films, I'm always in need of some good suggestions. Thanks in advance!!!

merry christmas!

Coldplay – Christmas Lights Lyrics

Christmas night, another fight
Tears we cried, a flood
Got of all kinds of poison in, poison in my blood
Took my feet to Oxford Street, trying to right a wrong
Just walk away those windows sing
But I can’t believe she’s gone
When you’re still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all

A group of candles on me are flickering
Oh they flicker and they flow
And I am up here holding on to all those chandeliers of hope
And like some drunken in this city
I go singing out of tune
Singing how I’ve always loved you, darling
And I always will

Oh when you’re still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all
Still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all

Those Christmas lights
Light up the streets
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Oh Christmas lights, keep shining on

Those Christmas lights
Light up the streets
Maybe they’ll bring her back to me
Then all my troubles will be gone
Oh Christmas lights, keep shining on

Oowwwhhhohooooowohohohoooo

Oh Christmas lights
Light up the streets
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shining on

Tonight in our film night we watched and discussed Blood Diamond. As we discussed it, we quickly began to talk about the human condition and the world in which we live and WHAT would change that reality. A friend of mine who helps child soldiers in East Asia posted this video on youtube to the tune of John Lennon's Happy Xmas. No matter what your political views, there are grave atrocities going on around the world and most the time we are completely unaware of anything more than what happens right outside the window of our home. As he said when he posted it, "Suspend cynicism and let this video wreck you." Here it is.

If you want to see the work they are doing, go here. And if you want to watch a couple videos to get you thinking more, here you go:

Project: AK-47 exists to rescue child soldiers. from PROJECT: AK-47 on Vimeo.

"WEAR THEIR REALITY." Project: AK-47's dog tags for child soldier advocacy from PROJECT: AK-47 on Vimeo.

And here is another one with another organization on slave labor:


And now some quotes, good quotes:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt


"We don't believe something by merely saying we believe it, or even when we believe that we believe it. We believe something when we act as if it were true."

-Dallas Willard


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Nelson Mandela


"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

-Mother Teresa

“Thou shalt never be a perpetrator. Thou shalt never be a victim. And thou shalt never, but never, be a bystander.”

-Yehuda Bauer

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world die." - Mahatma Gandhi

We Used To Wait

Lyrics to "We Used to Wait" by Arcade Fire

I used to write,
I used to write letters I used to sign my name
I used to sleep at night
Before the flashing lights settled deep in my brain

But by the time we met
By the time we met the times had already changed

So I never wrote a letter
I never took my true heart I never wrote it down
So when the lights cut out
I was left standing in the wilderness downtown

Now our lives are changing fast
Now our lives are changing fast
Hope that something pure can last
Hope that something pure can last

It seems strange
How we used to wait for letters to arrive
But what's stranger still
Is how something so small can keep you alive

We used to wait
We used to waste hours just walking around
We used to wait
All those wasted lives in the wilderness downtown

oooo we used to wait
oooo we used to wait
oooo we used to wait
Sometimes it never came
(oooo we used to wait)
Sometimes it never came
(oooo we used to wait)
Still moving through the pain
(oooooo)

I'm gonna write a letter to my true love
I'm gonna sign my name
Like a patient on a table
I wanna walk again gonna move through the pain

Now our lives are changing fast
Now our lives are changing fast
Hope that something pure can last
Hope that something pure can last

oooo we used to wait
oooo we used to wait
oooo we used to wait
Sometimes it never came
(oooo we used to wait)
Sometimes it never came
(oooo we used to wait)
Still moving through the pain
(oooooo)

we used to wait (x3)

We used to wait for it
We used to wait for it
Now we're screaming sing the chorus again
We used to wait for it
We used to wait for it
Now we're screaming sing the chorus again

I used to wait for it
I used to wait for it
Hear my voice screaming sing the chorus again

Wait for it (x3)



Let me just say, that I love these guys!!! And their lyrics are pretty ingenious.

singing in the rain

Navidad ha llegado a Madrid!!! Christmas has arrived to Madrid!!!

I have some great friends. And yesterday was one of those great days with friends. Fran & Pepe came over for breakfast. We ate some of the rest of the cinnamon rolls I made the other day, with Chery too, and the cream filled croissants that Pepe brought, coffee, colacao, oj,... Then we took off for Plaza Mayor to enjoy the Christmas market, the Christmas decorations and to buy some crazy wigs & take a million pictures. Somewhere along the way we stopped for hot chocolate with whipped cream and some tea. We then went over to Pepe's for a fabulous lunch of paella & such with his family. We lingered there awhile admiring the lights, decorations and huge nativity scene that Pepe's family had put up. Then back to the center to walk, walk, and walk some more looking at lights, taking more pictures, buying a cute, warm hat (for me), having cappichinos (theirs with whipped cream on top), look at more lights and then all head home. It was fun, freezing, and full of a ton of laughs. Nothing like that to start off the holiday season!