Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year's wherever you may be!!!

my ham!

In Spain, it's traditional that your job gives you a Christmas basket filled with wines, sausages, cheeses, sweets & turrón, and a leg of ham (or a pata de jamón).

Well, yesterday I got a call as I was driving to pick up my roommate from the airport to say that they needed to know when I'd be home so they could deliver a ham leg to me. I was estatic! I've been dreaming of getting a ham leg for a couple years now and this one was one of the best, a pata negra (black leg). They run fairly expensive but are the best ham around, cured ham that is, like proschutto. Anyway, I just googled "how to cut a jamon ibérico" which you can follow along on here. Friends are coming over for New Year's Eve and we're going to break into the JAMON!!!

Have a great New Year's Eve!!!

Christmas is time for... fireworks? and... costumes?

Okay, so this picture is definitely an exaggeration, but is what it sounds like right now outside of my apartment. I actually thought it might knock off one of my window boxes it was so loud and so close.

The reason for all the commotion is of course... CHRISTMAS! Close to my apartment there is a restaurant that is apparently the happening place to go out with friends or co-workers for a Christmas dinner. The night is then of course not over until a few fireworks are shot off, Feliz Año is shouted, and most likely there are a few more stops afterward. It is somewhat humorous to me, as there are often costumes, wigs, maybe even masks accompanying the fireworks and joyous celebration.

Technically, all of this is for the 28th of December, which is the Día de los Innocentes (or the equivalent of April Fools' Day, although technically it is to honor the innocent children that were martyred, if I have my history right, by the Moors back in the day) but in Madrid it is all of December.

So when you go to the many Christmas markets around town, you can pick up some gifts, some figurines for the Nativity Scene, or more correctly your display of the entire town of Bethlehem (generally they include Mary, Joseph, Jesus, the animals, shepherds, wise men, functioning windmills, a man making bread, running water, a guy pooping (who is about as essential as Mary, Joseph and Jesus), and a myriad of other adornments) AND tinsel hair of varying colors, colored wigs, masks (both scary and famous people), silly string, firecrackers, incense, and a Christmas tree.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth... And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:14-16

Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:67-69)

blueberries!!!

YUM!!! So I came home sopping wet this afternoon because I decided that my winter hat would be enough for the sprinkles coming down. True, but enough time even in light rain can get one decently wet. Fortunate for me, I was pretty well bundled up.

I came home in a somewhat bad, frustrated mood mainly because I couldn't find what I was looking for for the conference backdrop on Dec 27th, I was wet and a little under the weather anyway, and feeling a little overwhelmed.

It was then that I remembered the BLUEBERRIES! A friend who came to visit recently brought some dried blueberries from a friend who had remembered that that is what I had said I missed from the States. I prefer the fresh ones, obviously. But since that wasn't quite an option, the dried ones from Trader Joe's were VERY much appreciated.

So, I made some blueberry pancakes and remembered that I have a million and one reasons to be thankful and happy, even on a cold, rainy, frustrating day.

some spanish news...on abortion

Photo: "Every Life Matters" protest by a million Spaniards concerning the controversial abortion bill

Recently in Spain there has much debate over the abortion laws. Most recently a new law approved by parliament and sent to senate that has been widely opposed by some. It would make the current law less strict. And there is talk of a future law that would require medical students to learn the procedure.

I personally agree with the quote below that it is not a question of politics but of humanity. In the western world we are so often concerned over the rights of animals and human rights, but the rights of an unborn child are ignored and seen as just a mass of unwanted flesh. Somehow at 22 weeks, or 8 months, I think it would be hard for anyone to deny the fact that it is a baby in the womb (particularly if it could survive outside of the womb) and yet he or she can still be aborted. And, for the argument about the woman's rights, all the women I know who have had an abortion would attest to the fact that women who abort suffer physically and psychologically and for years after the fact.

Anyway, I know this is an extremely polemic issue. Here are some snippets from new articles from this past year and below are some full articles (all from CNN, NYTimes, and BBC News).

"The current law allows terminations in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy only in cases of rape and in the first 22 weeks in cases of congenital disorder. However, a woman can abort at any time if her mental or physical health is at risk — an exception cited in about 97 percent of abortions in Spain, according to Empar Pineda, spokeswoman for the Spanish Association of Accredited Abortion Clinics."

"The new law in Spain, which the government is in the process of drafting, would make abortion available on request in the first 14 weeks, and it would allow women as young as 16 to seek one without parental consent. Also under the law, a woman could abort in the first 22 weeks in the case of congenital disorder and after that if continuing the pregnancy put her life at risk."

"“We truly cannot give in to this,” he said of the new legislation. “It is not a question of politics, it is a question of humanity.”

The Spanish Episcopal Conference has rented billboards in three dozen cities on which they displayed a protected Iberian lynx next to a crawling baby with the words, “What about me? Protect my life.”

Anti-abortion groups and conservative regional governments have joined the protest. The regional government of Valencia, led by the Popular Party, is preparing an anti-abortion law that would, among other things, promote a network of surrogate families who would take in or support single mothers-to-be.

Thousands of people in Spain and Latin America turned out on March 29 for a protest organized by HazteOir, a conservative advocacy group. The group’s president, Ignacio Arsuaga, said the government should enforce the existing law rather than loosen it.

“This government likes to say it defends women’s rights,” he said by telephone. “But women who abort suffer physically and psychologically.”

"Abortion is carried out by a medical practitioner in a public or private clinic with the express consent of the pregnant woman under the following circumstances:

1. To avoid physical or mental harm to the mother (in this case two specialists must consent to the abortion going ahead)
2. If the pregnancy is the result of rape or an act of incest that has been declared to the police. The abortion must however be carried out within the first 12 weeks.
3. If the baby is severely physically or mentally handicapped. The abortion must again take place within the first 22 weeks. In this instance two specialists from an approved health centre plus the doctor in charge must certify that the foetus will suffer from its severe defects if allowed to be born.
4. In the case of an emergency that puts the life of the mother at risk, the abortion may be carried out without the express consent of the doctor and without that of the mother.

All voluntary interruptions of pregnancy carried out in conformity with Organic Law No. 9 of 1985 must be reported to the Spanish national health authorities by the Ministry of Health of each Autonomous Community on receipt of a form filled out by the doctor performing the abortion. The woman is not required to supply her name.

If one of these four circumstances exists, the Spanish Social Security (National Health Care) will pay for the termination.""

SEVERAL NEW ARTICLES - PRESENT & PAST

Spanish Parliament approves abortion bill -By Al Goodman, CNN Madrid Bureau Chief, December 17, 2009 11:24 a.m. EST

Madrid, Spain, (CNN) -- The Spanish Parliament approved a controversial bill on Thursday to make it easier to get an abortion in Spain, and sent it to the Senate.

The ruling Socialists and smaller-party allies amassed 184 votes against 158 from the main opposition conservative Popular Party and its allies.

Since 1985, abortion has been decriminalized in Spain, but only in matters of rape, or when the health of the child or mother is at risk.

Abortions have doubled in the past decade in the traditionally Roman Catholic country, from nearly 54,000 in 1998 to 112,000 in 2007, the most recent year for available data, according to Spain's Ministry of Health.

The Roman Catholic church here and the main opposition conservative Popular Party have blasted the government's bill to make it easier to get an abortion and give it legal backing.

The bill would permit abortions through 14 weeks of pregnancy, with few questions asked. But the most controversial section, according to many politicians and analysts, was a Socialist proposal to permit abortions for 16-year-olds without prior consent from their parents.

In recent negotiations to win enough votes, the Socialists agreed to soften that proposal. The version approved on Thursday would require 16 year-olds to get prior consent from their parents, unless such notification is reasonably considered to create a potentially violent conflict within the family.

Tens of thousands of people marched last October in Madrid against the abortion bill, under the theme "each life is important." Many leading conservative politicians attended, including former Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar.

They say the proposed law throws open the door to more abortions. A protest organizer, Benigno Blanco, told the crowd "this debate won't end until there's not a single abortion." Blanco was a senior official in Aznar's government.

But the bill's supporters say the abortion measures are part of a broader national strategy on sexual and reproductive health, including education and access to contraceptives, which aims to prevent unwanted pregnancies in Spain.

The Socialists have called the conservatives "hypocritical," accusing them of doing nothing to completely outlaw abortion during their eight years in power from 1996 to 2004.

A group of women shout and hold placards as they take part in a protest march to oppose the government's


Spain's drops controversial abortion measure - AFP, Thu Dec 10, 1:26 pm ET

MADRID (AFP) – Spain's ruling Socialist Party agreed on Thursday to amend the most controversial of its abortion reforms, one that would have allowed girls of 16 to end a pregnancy without parental consent.

The measure had been condemned by both the conservative opposition Popular Party as well as some Socialist lawmakers.

At the demand of the centre-right Basque Nationalist Party (PNV), parliament's Equal Opportunities Committee on Thursday approved a new version of the law that does not include the measure, political sources said.

However, the new legislation would still allow girls of 16 and over to undergo abortions without their parents' consent if there is "certain danger of family violence, threats, pressure, abuse, family exclusion or distress."

The new version of the proposed law would also allow doctors to refuse to carry out the procedure if they register as "conscientious objectors" to abortion.

The PNV said it would vote in favour of the bill "as its demands have been incorporated."

Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero governs without an absolute majority and relies on the support of smaller parties such as the PNV in order to pass legislation.

Zapatero's cabinet approved the draft law at a cabinet meeting in September despite strong opposition from the Roman Catholic Church and the PP.

Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets of Madrid on October 17 to condemn the measures in a demonstration organised by the Spanish Family Forum, a coalition of Catholic groups.

Under the reforms, abortions would be allowed on demand up to the 14th week of pregnancy, and up to 22 weeks if there is a risk to the mother's health or if the foetus is deformed.

Women could also undergo the procedure after 22 weeks if the foetus has a serious or incurable illness.

The existing law, introduced in 1985, a decade after the death of right-wing dictator Francisco Franco, only allows abortion in cases of rape, foetal malformation and when a pregnant woman's mental or physical health is deemed to be at risk if the pregnancy goes to term.


PAST ARTICLES

Big anti-abortion rally in Spain
Pro-life protesters turned out in numbers
Saturday, 17 October 2009 22:42 UK - BBC News

More than a million people are said to have taken part in a march in Madrid to oppose government plans to liberalise Spain's abortion law.

Several dozen centre-right opposition party joined the demonstration, which was backed by Roman Catholic bishops.

Socialist Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero wants to introduce abortion on demand.

At present, a pregnancy can only be terminated in mainly Catholic Spain under specific circumstances.

The government wants the procedure to be available to all women up until the 14th week of pregnancy.

Most controversially, the draft law currently before parliament would also permit girls aged 16 and 17 to have an abortion without their parents' knowledge.

It is the latest in a series of ethical issues which have pitted the Catholic right against the government, which has legalised gay marriage and made divorce easier.

Police estimates put the crowd at 250,000, but the regional government said that over a million had turned out, with the organisers claiming a turnout of two million.

'Every life matters'

The march brought together more than 40 religious and civil society groups calling for the government to withdraw the draft bill.

"This new law is a barbarity," said one protester, Jose Carlos Felicidad, from the southern town of Algeciras.

"In this country, they protect animals more than human beings," he told AFP news agency.

A broad cross-section of Spanish society were represented, says the BBC's Steve Kingstone in Madrid - old and young, parents with babies, priests, nuns, immigrant families and organised groups coached in from all over the country.

They gathered in the heart of Madrid under an enormous blue banner the height of a two-storey building emblazoned with the simple message: "Every life matters."

The crowd stretched all the way up the city's main avenue.

The demonstrators would have been hoping that lawmakers at the parliament nearby were listening, our correspondent adds, because it is they who in due course will vote on this controversial legislation.

Respect and rights?

Spain's existing law, dating from 1985, allows abortion in cases of rape and when there are signs of fetal abnormality.

Spanish women can also end a pregnancy if their physical or psychological health is at risk. In practice, the last category has been used to justify the vast majority of abortions - of which there were 112,000 in 2007.

The government says the new law is about respect and rights for women, and that anyone wanting to terminate a pregnancy will first be explained the alternatives - including state help for young mothers.

It also claims its proposal will make abortion safer - by ensuring the procedure does not happen beyond 22 weeks of a pregnancy.

In recent years shocking cases have emerged in which doctors performed abortions on women eight months pregnant, with the justification that their mental health was under threat.


Spain plans abortion law changes
Thursday, 14 May 2009 17:28 UK - BBC NEWS

The Spanish cabinet has agreed to liberalise the country's abortion laws, allowing abortion in most cases up to 14 weeks of pregnancy.

The proposals must go to parliament, where Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero lacks a majority.

His deputy, Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega, said changes were necessary to preserve the "dignity of women".

Anti-abortion groups have condemned the proposals and the Roman Catholic church has started an anti-abortion campaign.

Under current law, introduced in 1985, abortion is allowed in cases of rape up to 12 weeks of pregnancy and up to 22 weeks in the case of fetal malformation.

The most important thing about this law, what it seeks, is to protect women's dignity.
Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega Deputy Prime Minister

It can also be performed at any time when a pregnant woman's mental or physical health are at risk from carrying the baby to term.

Currently most abortions in Spain are justified on the basis of psychological harm to the mother.

Under the proposals, as well as abortion with no questions asked up to 14 weeks, the procedure would be permitted up to 22 weeks if two doctors certified that there was a serious risk to the mother, or fetal malformation.

An abortion after 22 weeks would require a panel of doctors to certify that the fetal malformation would mean the baby would not live, or the fetus were diagnosed with an extremely serious or incurable disease.

"The most important thing about this law, what it seeks, is to protect women's dignity.

"That is its spirit, from beginning to end," said Ms Fernandez de la Vega, according to the Associated Press news agency.

The proposed changes follow other liberalisations made by Socialist Prime Minister Mr Zapatero, including legalising gay marriage and easing divorce laws.

The Catholic Church has condemned the abortion changes, with protests held earlier this year.

Here is a link to an article about the full abortion shown on Spanish TV in 2007. It's obviously quite graphic.

As is generally the case when I get excited about a book, I have just begun. I am 25 pages into NT Wright's book, "Justification" and am thoroughly enjoying it as I have other NT Wright books I have read. I'll probably add some more excerpts and maybe some additional comments as I continue. Although all that said, it may be a bit before I finish as I am babysitting at a friend's house and trying to quickly read through this book, knowing that they have yet to finish, so if I don't finish tonight I'll have to wait a bit.

"But the real point is, I believe, that the salvation of human beings, though of course extremely important for those human beings, is part of a larger purpose. God is rescuing us from the shipwreck of the world, not so that we can sit back and put our feet up in his company, but so that we can be part of his plan to remake the world. We are in orbit around God and his purposes not the other way around." NT Wright, p. 24, Justification

I am amazed and overjoyed! One, my apartment is almost clean. This Friday I made a bunch of cookies for Saturday, which was the cookie making class I gave for our church's Christmas open house with storytelling and various themed classes. It was a whirlwind - one hour to make and decorate cookies in cooking show style (i.e. without an oven, things magically appearing, etc.,). After that I dashed off to a youth meeting to follow up the EJE conference we had a couple weeks ago and arrived back home around 11:30pm with my car poorly parked, knowing that I would later have to move it and find a legal spot (which I did around 1:30am). Suffice it to say, my house was a disaster. So, it's nice to have that mostly done. I LOVE when my house is clean!

Two, last night a friend and I bought tickets to Mallorca for a couple days between New Year's and Kings' Day! Mallorca is one of the islands to the SE of Spain and somehow we found great tickets and a hotel that costs 65 Euros (for 3 days, the total). AND a good friend of mine is going to be in Paris for business and I found cheap tickets, so I finally get to go back to Paris for the weekend (which I'd been hoping to do this Christmas/New Year sometime).

Three, I've been listening to Handel's Messiah, which I love, and looking up the passages that go with each movement (although the lyrics are straight from the Bible) and enjoying reflecting on the meaning of Christmas.

Four, I was pleasantly awakened this morning at 5:30am to SNOW!!! It was beautiful!!! It has now pretty much melted and the rain that came latter didn't help, but it was nice for the few hours it lasted.

In the bleak midwinter...

"In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day,
Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels fall before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart."

"In The Bleak Midwinter" Christina Rossetti, 1872

the farmer and the dell?

It is 1:30am and I should be asleep. My roommate leaves tomorrow on a plane for the US for Christmas and I am driving her to the airport nice and early. And yet I am not asleep. And neither are my neighbors (which in part why I haven't yet hit the hay). Upstairs I keep on hearing a kid's toy play "The Farmer in the Dell" in Spanish of course and accompanied by a 3yr old or so's voice. Now the TV is also on upstairs, or at least I think it's upstairs, and there are also adult voices. At least the little girl is no longer crying. And then next door are two old men talking in deep gruff voices. That is a bit more normal, but it's been awhile since I've heard such a lively night like this. 1:30am in Madrid and time to get some shut-eye.

Thanksgiving & Abraham Lincoln's Proclamation in 1863

Proclamation of Thanksgiving
Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863

This is the proclamation which set the precedent for America's national day of Thanksgiving. During his administration, President Lincoln issued many orders like this. For example, on November 28, 1861, he ordered government departments closed for a local day of thanksgiving.

Sarah Josepha Hale, a prominent magazine editor, wrote a letter to Lincoln on 28, 1863, urging him to have the "day of our annual Thanksgiving made a National and fixed Union Festival." She wrote, "You may have observed that, for some years past, there has been an increasing interest felt in our land to have the Thanksgiving held on the same day, in all the States; it now needs National recognition and authoritive fixation, only, to become permanently, an American custom and institution." The document below sets apart the last Thursday of November "as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise."

According to an April 1, 1864, letter from John Nicolay, one of President Lincoln's secretaries, this document was written by Secretary of State William Seward, and the original was in his handwriting. On October 3, 1863, fellow Cabinet member Gideon Welles recorded in his diary that he complimented Seward on his work. A year later the manuscript was sold to benefit Union troops.

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

While this is a bit late coming, these words of Lincoln are powerful and thought-provoking as much in 2010 as they were in 1863. Happy belated Thanksgiving! I'm thankful that we have a day set aside to step back and to remember all the things and people for which we are thankful and also Him who has made us and all these things and people.

Note: George Washington also has a famous Thanksgiving speech, which can be read here on a friend's blog.

decorating!!!

I've been thinking on and off about decorating my apartment and while I probably won't we able to actually do so until Christmas, I at least have a few more ideas...

...estanterías, or bookshelves, made from old, brown crates. fun in part because we found a guy who sells crates (versus having to find this many in good shape on the street) for cheap. also fun because i'll get to design it and such.

... a floor lantern for the hallway, possibly two, one at each end, for when we have guests over. it's kind of a long hallway, but i hate leaving the lights on and wasting the electricity. plus candles are always more enchanting.


















... i'd also love a little corner in the living room with a soft, comfy chair to curl up in with a book. or maybe a hammock, although that would probably take up a lot of space.

... lots of textures, pretty earthly but also pretty. hmm...

... paint is the thing i haven't quite figured out. I wouldn't actually mind a couple shades of brown with maybe some earthly colors to accent (either real colors or whites and greens and blues and maybe the right color of coral or pink)... i really have no idea.

... i'm thinking of moving the huge bookshelf/buffet to the entryway of the hall to make more space

... the entryway needs a major overhall. i'd love to get a lot of morroccan lamps and such to make it very inviting and magical. the main question is the cost and where to find cheap, morroccan lamps. maybe i just make to take a trip down south soon. :-)

... and i think the entryway definitely needs a coat of paint, possibly a more vibrant color...

... and then there is a bookshelf that could be painted. i would totally strip it, but that is a long, some what toxic process. so... that also has to be decided, depending on where it ends up.

so... those are my rambling, random thoughts on redecorating as of late. not to mention some of the remodeling we're going to request from our landlord. i'd so love love love a new kitchen, or at least new cabinets and stove/oven. one that actually has a temperature gauge in the oven instead of just having to guess by the size of the flame and then knowing it will take longer and possibly have to be tinkered with and possibly turn out unevenly heated... i so have kitchen envy of the place we stayed in on the surf trip. cooking was so much more simple.

if i had my druthers i'd have a marble counter top. that's unlikely, but a girl can definitely dream.

“It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.” – Mother Teresa

wearing your heart on your sleeve

i just got off the phone with a dear friend of mine. she called to ask if i was okay. she noticed that yesterday afternoon i was a little down, or so it seemed. and she was right, although i didn't quite realize it 'til i was on the train to the airport.

i SO appreciate her asking, which expresses to me that she sees me and cares. she didn't have to call and i wouldn't have given it a second thought, but she did.

and apparently it was way too obvious what i was feeling, unbeknownst to me, because on the train on the way to the airport the girl riding with me, who i don't know very well (i just met her on friday) asked me the same thing, if i was doing okay. i was, but it occurred to me in that moment why i was upset. it was nothing, just a commentary that someone made about a certain subject that i happened to be sensitive about that day, probably all in jest. i knew it was nothing, but for some reason continued to run it around in circles in my head.

it is so nice to have good friends. and while i don't mean to wear my heart on my sleeve, sometimes it is nice to be asked if you're okay when you're a little upset. (although there are also times where i wish that no one knew how i felt.)

singleness, babies, weddings, longings,...

hmm... right now i'm actually in a great mood, so this actually has nothing to do with my present emotions.

recently weddings and babies have been on my mind quite frequently, in fact more frequently than i wish. it seems like everyone and their brother is having babies and getting married this year. since september i've been to two weddings, i have another one in just a week, and a girl who is also in madrid working with me is getting married next summer. as for babies, most of my friends now have at least 2 kids. fortunately, for my sake, there are still a couple other single friends around, but the list keeps on shrinking.

the girl in madrid who is getting married is the one whose wedding somehow affects me more than any other one has in a very long time. she came here last january on staff, this summer met her fiancé, and a month later they were engaged. while i know it isn't true, i feel like it's unfair, that somehow i've put in my time and deserve it more. (obviously, it's not something you "deserve" or "don't deserve," nor something that comes to you when you've earned it, but that is on an emotional level how i feel about it. i mean I want to get married and have kids too. when is it MY turn? that is again my emotions speaking, not my brain.)

then there have been several thoughtless things that people have said. i think it was primarily to poke fun at us (not thinking that it could come across as being hurtful), but a married guy at our meetings this weekend said (again i think in jest) that we just need to seduce a man; that that is the secret of who gets a guy and who doesn't. he said that is obviously an art, as the man needs to think he is doing the work, but he needs to first be enticed. he said it has nothing to do with looks or what a girl is actually like, but all about physical attraction and the girl pursuing the guy. while i think a girl obviously can't go hide inside a burlap bag, i strongly disagree. but then again i'm the one who is single. this guy's remarks infuriated me and at the same time made me feel hurt, as if he was saying that it's my own fault that i'm single. and made me want to survey all the guys i've ever liked and ask them why either nothing ever happened or it didn't work out. is it my fault? i think the answer is no. no, i haven't done things perfectly, but i also think that some of the relationships which haven't worked out have had little to nothing to do with me. honestly i think that we weren't the right two people to go together and/or the guy had no idea what he wanted (and sometimes i didn't either). the fact that most of the guys i'm talking about are still single too seems to support my point. (and they've definitely had some women pursue them or clearly express their interest in them.)

well today is a new day. on one hand i have no idea what to do with all this stuff. and on the other hand, while i would love to have someone to wake up to, to be with me through moves, through think and thin, to have a family with, to make decisions with, and i'd love to hold a little baby in my arms that is mine, i one trust that someday that may happen and on the other hand know that it will be okay if it doesn't, that the Lord will meet me in whatever situation i may find myself. He will give me the grace and strength i need for each day. for i know, despite my emotions at times, that i have a God who walks with me, who is my help and the one who cares for me and loves me and who is with me through the ebs and flows of life. my God loves me and chooses to bless me and protect and provide for me apart from what i deserve or "earn." that is so nice to know.

today i am resting. i got back last night around 11pm after a weekend of meetings in barcelona, which by the way went well. staff from around spain and students met to plan a retreat we have in march about discipleship. it was fun to watch mel, a student from madrid, as she gave input and processed both stuff she's been learning and things we talked about there. there were supposed to be several students from across spain, but in the end it was just mel.

today, i'm resting, which today means watching a movie, blogging, cleaning & doing laundry, going to the gym, journaling & spending time with Jesus, and maybe going for a walk or something. later on this week, a team from n. california gets here to help with our english immersion weekend & a thanksgiving dinner (and just to see what we do) and a friend of mine from st. peters is also going to join us, which is really fun!

as i rest, i'm also thinking through some things i need to do this week. and also things i'd like to do. one thing i'd really like to do is make a plan for redecorating the living room, entryway and hall. it's been awhile that i've wanted to do this, but it seems that i've only made time to take baby steps. if not before, christmas seems like the perfect time to work on it a bit more. some other things that need to get done are Christmas gifts (some of which i'd really like to be handmade), ordering some books from amazon, finishing some sewing projects, cleaning, updating my ministry website, etc., so... i just finished my movie and need to tackle both the laundry from the trip and my room that has seen the effects of being way too busy and being in and out of town a bit too frequently.

julia

I love Nora Aphron films! Julia and Julia definitely again is filled with great lines, similar to You've Got Mail also by Nora Aphron. It's absolutely wonderful!!! And it's made me think both about blogging and about possibly setting some type of goal/challenge. The second Julia decides to cook through all of Julia's French Cooking book in a year and blog about it. It also makes me want to buy Julia's book and learn to cook french food and to cook it well. Hmm...

As for goals, the things that come to mind are running another marathon, which would be great fun, really, or something along those lines. We'll see...

war and peace

So, I've been trying to think about war and a Christian's response to it - and the various positions held by believers over the years. It's not like I haven't thought about this before, but having watched Thin Red Line and knowing that we're going to discuss it tonight, and the fact that there are strong christian undertones, i'd just like my thoughts to be a bit more cohesive before i have to say them out loud (and to preferably not just be verbally processing).

Some of the big questions from the film are:

Where does the evil in the world and in us come from? What happened to the light and to the good in us and in the world?

Why is there war? Is war ever just? What is the right response of one who follows Jesus to war? How do we reconcile an individual response to evil and a government & country's response to it? Is it right to bring about justice through violence?

What about the beauty in the world and in people? Where does that come from? Why do we sometimes see it so clearly and other times does it seem so dim?

Anyway, there are many more questions than just this. And I honestly wish the film had more fully developed each of the characters. There are lots of vignettes and just brief touches with various characters so you are left with little thoughts and a lot of questions about even what they are trying to convey, what the movie is trying to convey, and what the various characters think.

So, in thinking about all this, here are a couple links I found through a google search that were helpful (Although I still have more questions than answers, they at least gave some more food for thought. And I DON'T necessarily agree with all that is written in these links.):

http://www.leaderu.com/humanities/demy.html

http://fromthestacksonmydesk.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/christian-response-to-war/

http://allkindsoftime.blogspot.com/2005/05/ive-read-good-deal-on-christian.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thin_Red_Line_%281998_film%29

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120863/quotes

http://www.counterpunch.org/mcdowell02122003.html

http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/war-and-peace

I'd love any thoughts you guys have too about this.

thin red line

I just watched Thin Red Line for our film night & discussion tonight. I'm not quite sure what I think of it yet and am thinking a bit about war and peace and how knowing Jesus affects the way I should rightly think about all this. I'll have to blog after I've sorted though my thoughts a bit more. But there are some interesting quotes below from the film.

"There's great evil. Where's it come from? How did it steal into the world?

What seed, what root did it grow from? Whose doing this? Who's killing us, robbing us of life and light, mocking us with the sight of what we might have known?

Does our ruin benefit the earth? Does it help the grass to grow and the sun to shine? Is this darkness in you too? Have you passed through this night?"

"War to any noble man turns them into dogs, poisons the soul."

"How do we get to those shores, those blue hills? Love, where does it come from? Who put this flame in us? NO war can put it out and conquer it. I was a prisoner, you set me free."

"How did we loose the good that was given us? Let it slip away, scatter carelessly? What's keeping us from reaching out and touching the glory?"

"One man sees a dying bird and... that death has the final word. Another man sees the glory and something shining through it."

"Everything a lie. Everything you hear, everything you see. So much to spew out. They just keep coming, one after another. You're in a box. A moving box. They want you dead, or in their lie... There's only one thing a man can do - find something that's his, and make an island for himself. If I never meet you in this life, let me feel the lack; a glance from your eyes, and my life will be yours."

"Darkness and light, strife and love, are they the workings of one mind, the features of the same face? "

All this has made me think of some C.S. Lewis quotes about man, life, war, peace,... I'll have to look them up and post them later.

justice?

Here's a link to an article on a friend's blog that has some very poignant quotes about the recent execution of a serial killer. It reminded me of some of the conversations we've had after our film night after dark movies like No Country for Old Men or the like.

Asturias

This past weekend we headed up north to BEAUTIFUL Asturias to surf. To be honest, not a lot of surfing actually happened due to the huge waves, strong under toe, and rough waters, not to mention the rain and sleet. We did some, but did a lot more just hanging out, exploring the rocky cliffs by the beach, climbing a little, running into the cold water while it sleeted, eating good hearty food, and just being together. It was great! There were 15 of us and I think we all got some good exercise, but were just refreshed by getting out of the city, getting to take some risks & adventures in the water and rocks, just hanging out and being, and by the incredible views. I'm again reminded that I think I need to do this more often; just take off and go somewhere fun and beautiful and to get out of the city now and then.

some perspective on life

A friend recently reminded me: "You can't ask for strength for tomorrow, you can only ask for strength for today. Matthew 6 tells us how we can't bother worrying about tomorrow - how we only get enough grace for one day at a time, we have only our bright hope for tomorrow."

Today as I looked at a few things that are very much out of my control and hands and felt completely overwhelmed, angry, and frustrated, I then thought, "Hey, wait. If you have no control over this, why are you so stressed out by it. You can't control it, you just have to both trust that the Lord will be with you, whatever may happen, and that He will give you grace for now and for the future." My friend's words came to mind and 99% of the stress I felt moments ago has dissipated. Everything is back in perspective.

Ironically I read Psalm 121 and yet hours later had forgotten some of the simple truths there which were exactly what I needed to remember. :-)

a few little thoughts

one, I love doing campus ministry in Spain. somehow it makes me come alive just being on campus, but even more so actually talking to students about things that matter, or being in their midst when this happens.

this week we're repeating an outreach we did last year called, "What do you see?" (although it sounds way better and catchier in Spanish.) basically we've advertised for a few weeks on campus with fotos and the phrase, "What do you see?" and we've also just put plain black or white flyers with the same phrase. this week we've had tables up on campus with 50 fotos that they can choose from to answer questions about life, the world, hope, brokenness, God,... they answer with pictures, which actually makes them more honest and more willing to answer deep, personal questions. they then have the option of telling us in words why, but either way it gets them thinking. and to me it seems obvious that a picture is worth a thousand words. somehow a picture sticks with you longer. so, i'm excited. it's been to hear students talking with their friends about deep things and it's been fun to see them come back and bring friends just to find out what they would have chosen and why. i've been in some of the conversations, but the majority i've just been a fly on the wall.

today in the midst of another long day, basically 6-7 hours standing up and interacting with people, i was looking around and remembering how much I love just being on campus. recently we've been organizing activities and getting things going, so while i've been with students, i haven't actually spent as much time on campus. it's been nice the past few days. it reminded me again why i love what i do.

it's very much a side note, but it's also been curious, or interesting, to see the huge change in fashion this year. the past few years there were quite a lot of dreads and hippies on campus and then just normal euro trends. this year we've taken a huge swing back to the 80s. big hair is in. the hippies are much more hard core in their dress, with dog collar bracelets and such. tons of heavy metal or hard core band shirts, tons of black, but all black. lots of bleached hair. lots of leggings and leather pants. lots of aviator glasses. i've been people watching and told tyler (a friend on the campus team) that i can picture people stepping out of back to the future, fame, flashdance, dirty dancing, family ties, etc., it's definitely euro-80s, with a bit more style than the US counterparts, but it's still 80s all the way.

i have some good reflecting i was going to blog, but i need to run out the door. so i'll have to do that another day.

happy times...

last night we had our first of the semester english night. (we have them about once a month.) unfortunately it coincided with the champion's league soccer match between real madrid and milán, so many of our regulars weren't here. (and double-ly unfortunately, madrid lost.) but we still had a nice little group and had a great time. it was also fun because a few study abroad students dropped by to lend us a hand, which was much appreciated.

and after we opened some lambrusco to celebrate bekah's recent engagement. it was fun hanging out for a bit and i felt loved. a peruvian friend of ours was over and she said that she wants to possibly move to canada after finishing here degree to get a master's in law somewhere else. it was late and i was tired, so i told her she needed to move to missouri, not canada, and of course proceeded to spout the greatnesses of missouri (which unbeknownst to many, who are very mistaken about our fine green state, are quite great). i mean the pure number of rivers to go canoeing on, the BEAUTIFUL green hills, good places to hike and explore, i could go on. granted we don't have a huge mountain range, but missouri is far from flat. granted we have no beaches, but we do have lakes and rivers and caves...

so, i'm in the room with dave who's from delaware, bekah from cali/colorado, chery who's from colorado, and zadith from peru. they start to tease me, which i think if done properly is one of the best ways to show love. somehow we then started to talk about bears and their abundance in canada (with a bit of exaggeration), the movie "grizzly bear," and other reasons why zadith would be much better not in canada (definitely very tongue in cheek). so, i don't fully remember the context (i mean this was somewhere around midnight on a wed night.) we begin to talk about rivers and such and i very matter-of-fact-ly state where the missouri river begins and ends (clearly in colorado) and that i thought i remembered learning that it flowed backward or something like that. they only half believe me and start to talk about how convincingly i can talk about just about anything i really have no idea about and how this is exactly the same way i try to twist the rules on games at times. (i think this was around the time that i said, "no, i'm pretty sure i am right. but i guess i really have no idea. (which i guess is a common phrase of mine.)" dave and bekah both then said, "yeah, we already knew that." so i then wanted to prove the validity of what i had just said so went to find the atlas someone randomly gave me for my birthday this past year. sure enough the missouri river starts right where i said (not too hard, since it's in st. louis, where i'm from) and goes west up between iowa and nebraska, turns west across nebraska, and then, oh.... somehow they continued to talk and all i said was, oh.... and then told them what i had been right about and then the BUT... :-) the missouri river actually ends in south dakota or around there, not in colorado (but close, right?).

anyway, i share all this to say, they then talked about the many dawn-isms that exist and i relished in the fact that it's true that they know me well and that they appreciate the little things that make me me (and definitely are things very opposite from both dave & bekah).

i guess it's just nice to feel known and loved. :-)

"Thou God of all grace,
Thou hast given me a Saviour,
produce in me a faith to live by him,
to make him all my desire,
all my hope,
all my glory.

May I enter him as my refuge,
build on him as my foundation,
walk in him as my way,
follow him as my guide,
conform to him as my example,
receive his instructions as my prophet,
rely on his intercession as my high priest,
obey him as my king.

May I never be ashamed o f him or his words,
but joyfully bear his reproach,
never displease him by unholy or imprudent conduct,
never count it a glory if I take it patiently
when buffeted for a fault,
never make the multitude my model,
never delay when thy Word invites me to advance.

May thy dear Son preserve me from this present evil world,
so that its smiles never allure,
nor its frowns terrify,
nor its vices defile,
nor its errors delude me.

May I feel that I am a stranger and a pilgrim on earth,
declaring plainly that I seek a country,
my title to it becoming daily more clear,
my meetness for it more perfect,
my foretastes of it more abundant;
and whatsoever I do may it be done in the Saviour's name."

from The Valley of Vision

tunes

I've been wanting some new music to add to my itunes and pulled out some stuff i listened to at my brother's. I've been loving the Dark Was the Night compilation as well as some of the artists featured on it such as Grizzly Bear, Beirut, Sufjan Stevens, Tune-Yards and some others of whom I'm forgetting the names.

twins, part 2

Ironically after that last post Teo woke up crying and this time wasn't soothed by laying him back on his tummy, finding his chupete/binkie, and patting his back. He was screaming, so I picked him up and took him in the other room to rock him a bit. I laid him down and Tomás soon after starts to scream and then the both start in together. Teo was awake, but only whimpering and Tomás was full out crying. And of course then both pacifiers fall on the ground (in the dark, mind you). So I turn on the hall light to get some softer light into the room, find the pacifiers, start to sing to them and alternate back and forth until both are sleeping soundly. whoo... I go back into the living room and getting some work done, some letters written. And this happens two or three more times, although the last time it almost seemed that Teo's crying was merely supportive or empathetic crying for Tomás. Poor little sick babies. They are super congested and almost wheezing when they breathe. They are coughing and yuck, their head is filled with congestion and mucous. I'm sure the feel horrible and I hate when I have a cold and can't breathe and thus can't sleep. Poor little guys. All in all they are super sweet little guys and even in crying and such are really easy kiddos. So, just after the last crying duo, the babies are sound asleep and I start back to the project I was working on, 1am, and the parents get home. They had a nice time out and I am just praying they get some sleep tonight (unlike last night). I then had my 45 minute drive home and then the search for a parking spot, but it was nice (other than being a little tired). Sweet dreams little mellizos.

twins

I´m presently babysitting. And while I love to do so, I´m realizing that two sick five month old twins can be a little bit of a handful. They are sleeping but every now and then one of them will cry and I´m supposed to then go running as fast as I can to soothe him, find his binkie and reposition him so he´ll go back to sleep and not wake up the other one. This is a little more complicated when it´s dark and they are already not sleeping too well because of all the congestion.

Now, after having written this, I´m not quite sure why I´m posting this other than I think it´s crazy that I go running as soon as one of them cries. I remember some other friends of mine who have twins (who are now about 6 or 7 yrs old) and I think I remember that they were of the philosophy that it was better to let kids cry a bit so that they learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. Somehow I´m liking that philosophy right about now. As for now, just thankful that both haven´t yet woken up at the same time.

Films...

Wow! While this week has been packed, I managed to find some time this evening to watch a couple of the movies in the running for our Film Discussion Night this fall. A friend of mine from high school suggested both "The Diving Bell and Butterfly" (a french film originally entitled Le scaphandre et le papillon) and "The Orphanage" (a Spanish film originally entitled El Orfanato) are both amazing films and definitely both film night worth, both in terms of quality of the film and in terms of being something good for discussion. Wow! I just watched the latter of the two and was very pleasantly surprised. I don't tend to love Spanish films nor do I love thrillers, but this was both and should definitely get some awards (maybe it has, I'm just not too up on that stuff). So here are two movies to put on your list when you have time and want a good film.

the prodigal God

I'm about halfway through this book and am loving it, so thought I'd pass on the suggestion. As usual it's a bit cheaper on Amazon.

What I love is that Tim Keller talks about the heart of the Gospel and of Christianity. He talks about the fact that the Gospel is just as much for people who are super-religious and have it all together, as for those who are a mess and know it. The latter group tend to get their need or God and the former tend to see themselves as self-sufficient, but are equally in desperate need of God. He talks about both being forms of making ourselves our own "savior," our own "god," and thus are rebelling from God, whether we seem to have it all together or not, whether we are "good" people or not. Anyway, the long short, good book! Really good book!

Oh, and as for the title, Keller points out two things: (1) "prodigal" actually means "recklessly extravagant; having spent everything", not wayward, and (2) the parable of the prodigal son, as it is often called (from Luke 18), is actually about TWO sons and is more about the Father's extravagant love than just the wayward son. I like it - God is definitely EXTRAVAGANT in loving us with what seems like pure recklessness.

my brief US trip...

So... let's see...I arrived back from 2 weeks in the States which was VERY brief.

First, a brief synopsis of the trip... Yolanda, a friend and I caught a plane in Madrid and headed to Brussels, Belgium. It occurred to me as we boarded the plane that this made NO sense; we were backtracking, but anyway. We arrived to Brussels and ran (at times literally) through the airport to our next gate, only very briefly glancing over our shoulders the yummy selections of chocolate. We literally ran to the gate only to have them ask us the million and one questions that are asked if you are headed to the US - about if anyone has given you anything, where your bags have been, etc., Yolanda struggled through this, with some translation on my part, since it was all in English and the people in Belgium don't tend to speak Spanish. She tried to get them to speak in Spanish, but no.

We board the plane only to quickly find that we are the minority. We are on Jet Airways and about 90% of the plane is Indian, as is the airline and the commercials. They speak English and Hindi, the food was Indian (yum), and we had a huge selection of Hollywood or Bollywood movies and a couple foreign films (one french, one arabic, and one chinese). Fun! A brief jaunt to another culture. The airline was great! Tons of leg room, they let you watch movies, play games, or listen to music from the time you boarded to the time you left the plane, and I didn't even feel the take off or landing (REALLY!). It took a smooth ride to a whole new level. Yolanda wasn't a huge fan of the food since it was quite spicy, but it was some of the best airline food I've ever had.

We arrived in New York City, took the train and then metro to Manhattan to the Meat Packing District, where my vegetarian sister was staying on work - at the Standard. We dropped off our stuff there, walked around a bit (along the river, through a cool market close by,...), and waited until my sister got off work. Yolanda kept saying, "It looks just like the movies!" "Everything is BIG!" (the streets, the cars, the houses,...) She was flipando. We found Sesame Street cupcakes, a store full of cookies, went into a European market and an Italian market, saw some cool art,... Then we headed back to the hotel to wait for my sister, who it was GREAT to see. Then off to dinner. We ate at this place called Olive & something. It was a fusion of European food, which was good (particularly after the Indian airplane) - something more normal for Yolanda's palate.

Backing up a bit... on the metro we met this guy who spent most of the trip there with us showing us pictures from his iPhone and my translating back and forth. He had somehow found a deal to pay something crazy like 500-800 dollars for 3 months of as much travel as he liked ANYWHERE in the world. So he had been to basically every continent and to lots of fun places in the past couple months. He had begun this after having traveled across the US in motorbike, or dirt-bike or something, from coast to coast, and then taken a van from California down to El Salvador, which he was only halfway there when he took off on this worldwide tour. He had a million and one stories to tell and we spent about an hour on the metro, so we were all ears. I'm guessing he just got out of college, or is in some type of transition, but was a little too tired to ask too many questions.

So, returning to above, after we got done with dinner (which we ordered WAY too much food at), we headed to catch the Megabus to Philly. We got there with plenty of time, boarded the bus in the last row so we could recline ALL the way - seriously it was flat, and went to sleep. The conductors were full of energy so they explained all the fun features of the bus - including wifi - and we were off. At some point some guy asked if I minded if they turned the sound for the movie on overhead. I did, but said no (realizing I'd probably sleep anyway), and went to sleep. Except for a few loud parts in the movie, I woke up as we arrived to Philly to the first stop. We stopped, I tried to pull up my seat for those passing by, but was too out of it to do so in a timely manner. We continued to the second stop, I woke up Yolanda, we got off the bus, we grabbed our luggage, and I hear, "Dawn!" I turn around and by God's grace my brother had gotten off work and realized, that while we would have made it to his place, I would hugely appreciate him showing up to help us. He took Yolanda's stuff since she was completely out of it by this time (probably close to 40 hours awake) and delirious and dealing with hearing a language she's still learning. It was SOOO great to see him. We took the trolley and then the metro and then walked to his place. It was raining a bit, but felt good.

We crashed and then woke up WIDE AWAKE bright and early. My brother and us headed to the historical part of town and we all saw the liberty bell, met up with my friend Cherith, and then to Independence Hall. My brother took off for work and we headed out for Philly Cheesesteaks, which Cherith continued to say were disgusting, but when in Rome do as the Romans. They were super yummy!

From there we went in search of coffee for me, tradition in Spain after lunch, and when you're jetlagged it becomes a necessity. We ended up walking all the way across Philly - stopping in a cool market, Chinatown, then heading to some cool statues (the famous LOVE statue, statues of board games and such), past some fountains, and the street with all the flags on it, down to the Philadelphia Art Museum (and Rocky statue), down to the Boathouses, and over to Fishtown (where Cherith and her husband live; and my brother does to). We saw the progress they're making on refurbing their house (right before leaving for Spain for a few years) and Cherith drove us to West Philly where a dear friend of mine lives. We had dinner with Carrie and fam, yummy vegan chili. And then about 8 or 9pm we became pumpkins and went back home to my brother's place. Of course I stayed up late both nights with my brother and his girlfriend to make the most of our little time together. One of the two nights we had delicious mojitos, which when made well is up there on my list of drinks.

We slept and got up bright and early for Drew to take us to the airport. On to St. Louis....

So we arrive to St. Louis late morning and are met by my mom who is full of tears and happy to see me. Sweet mom. We head out to the St. Louis Bread Company for lunch and then I convince her to take us home instead of us starting a tour of St. Louis. I am beat from all the running around, so we say hi to my dad (who has his office at home) and take off or Old Town St. Charles and to get some groceries. We came home and I worked, making calls & prepping for the week and for Sunday. That was Friday. I think we might have eaten in with some DELICIOUS, homemade cherry pie!

St. Louis is kind of a blur. Lots of meeting with people, speaking at churches, trying to be a good tour guide for yolanda, trying to spend quality time with my mom, sad because it was short and there are only 24h in a day and my dad had to leave monday morning for NH for work.

Saturday we went to the St. Louis Botanical Garden (aka Shaw Gardens), had some yummy Vietnamese food, and I think came home early so I could make some phone calls and prep for Sunday.

Sunday was church and sharing a bit there and lunch with people and then speaking at youth group (which unfortunately we were hugely jetlagged for; it was still fun I was just a bit delirious). A VERY full day.

Monday we saw my friend Catha, spoke at 5 spanish classes at a Christian high school a friend of mine is a spanish teacher at, and then came home.

The rest of the week was seeing some friends (some dear dear friends), seeing some ministry partners (many of whom are friends too), speaking as a few small groups that meet in homes (some smaller than others), hanging out with my mom, seeing St. Louis & St. Peters, some shopping, more sightseeing and meeting with people,...

The next weekend was similar to the last and then Tuesday morning we did the reverse. We flew to Philly, were met by my sweet friend Cherith who picked us up and took us to a Mediterranean restaurant and then to an incredibly delicious gelato place and then to catch our bus to NYC. We caught the bus, although this time our bus driver didn't speak English so we had some communication complications. I checked my e-mail and enjoyed the ride (sleeping some and just relaxing the rest). A guy on the bus said we might be 30-60 min late due to rush hour, so I sent a message to my friends who were there to meet us. We ended up at a different stop, in part to the communication problems, so walked several blocks and eventually found my friends who were in a bar waiting for us. It was SOOO SOOO good to see them - one a friend who came to visit last year and another a dear friend who just recently moved to NYC. We headed back to the apt we were going to stay at and then out for dinner. We ended up at an odd Spanish/Morroccan/Latin restaurant. I was not hungry at all, so just got something to drink and we caught up while I translated. I guess from the travel I was really tired again, so we went back early, talked through the next day and went online on this crazy high tech setup my friend has in his place. Karen went home and we went to sleep.

The next day Yolanda and I got up early and had the most delicious cappichino at City Girl Café, got a tad bit turned around, and headed to Battery Park to see Lady Liberty, then through Wall Street, past Ground Zero, walked over the Brooklyn Bridge, almost had some crazy good NY Italian food, but instead went to Central Park, to the John Lennon memorial, took a million and one pictures, and grabbed gyros on the street. While we were waiting for our food we met 10+ spaniards doing the same. We met up with Karen in Washington Square Park, got a quick tour of NYC and the oldest unchanged street in NYC, got a cappichino at one of the oldest places in Greenwich Village, tried to see Soho and the Village but got turned around a few times, so just took a lot of pictures and saw a few random things. We then met up with my friend Jonathan for dinner at a Mexican place and then to a chic coctail place. Again we went to bed tired.

The next morning we made sure our stuff was packed and that we knew how to get there okay, met up with Karen for brunch after seeing her digs in Harlem and getting a brief tour of the area, and then did the whirlwind tour - Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Fifth Avenue, NBA Store (for t-shirts for a friend of yolanda), coffee, Empire States Building (which unfortunately we didn't have time to go up in - yolanda was really sad), and then off to the airport in train and then another train. We boarded the plane and did the reverse, arriving home to Madrid a day later (Friday AM).

That is the brief outline of the trip. I have some observations and thoughts I was going to blog, but another day.

Four days later I had to jump on another plan to Barcelona for some meetings, which was FULL not to mention with jetlag on this side of the pond. Time in Barcelona I also want to blog about, as it was fun as always to stay and work with friends there.

la aventura de ser una single

"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord - death can't and life can't, the angels can't and the demons can't, our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell, whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation." Romans 8:38-39

Yesterday I met with a pastor from a suburb of Madrid to talk about the youth group at his church and how I could lend them a hand and also to just catch up a bit after the summer. We talked about that and then he asked (as it seems has come up quite frequently in conversations with married couples) if I was single by choice or why.

I guess the positive side is that there is not a screamingly obvious reason why I haven't found the right guy. And, as is also been true quite frequently as of late (I think several times this past week), he asked if I was closed to the idea of people helping. I said no but that I also was both content where I am and desirous of being married and having kids (if it's God's will and in His timing to the right guy, of course). He then said that I had a hard road - that I had chosen the hard road, with its benefits of course, but not without its troubles. I appreciated his sympathizing and even affirming my chosen road to live as a missionary in a foreign land. But he also was right - choosing to follow Jesus doesn't mean the road will necessarily be easy, in fact often that isn't the case. But I wouldn't change roads, even if that is the case. The benefits of following Christ FAR out way the cost, both in this life and in the next. And while I do desire to marry, the Lord is fully sufficient. He does without fail provide, protect, encourage, sustain,...

a brief update

I am hoping to write some thoughts about my recent trip to the US and seeing it through my Spanish friends' eyes a bit since she came with me. I arrived back on Friday morning, am still fighting with jet lag (at least in the mornings), have watched four movies in the past 24 hours to prep for our film nights this fall, am trying to cram one and a million things into the next 24 hours, and leave tomorrow afternoon for two days of meetings in Barcelona.

On a side note: here are some fun books I've read recently or am hoping to read soon - Know it All by A.J. Jacobs who worked for Esquire, The Elegance of the Hedgehog (I've probably mentioned it before), and Reading Lolita in Tetuan. Oh and some good nonfiction books that I highly recommend are The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan, Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (or anything by Lewis for that matter), The Promises of Grace by Bryan Chappell (or Praying Backwards - also great), and The Prodigal God by Tim Keller (or anything by Keller).

As for movies...I have a list, so I'll finish watching them and then give you the reviews or send you to my ministry website.

the countdown

Inevitably before a big trip, there comes a point where it feels like there are a million and one things to do, time is ticking away, and I'm on a downhill slope with the momentum that comes from running downhill. All is well, I just feel the pressure of time running out. 9 times out of ten, or maybe 9.9 times out of ten, that which is left undone is fine that way but it doesn't change the sensation of it all - hoping I'm not forgetting anything too vital nor to tell anyone who needs to know that I'll be gone. This is only heightened by an overseas trip because my cell phone won't work and the lapse of time and frequency of checking all forms of communication is just a bit slower.

On my list are:

Paying rent & clearing bills with my roommates (including my former roommate who just moved to another city)
Updating ministry updates, websites, etc.,
Tying up loose ends having to do with the new semester that begins as soon as I get back (including applying for permission to do our fall outreach on campus and following up with the guy who may give us a place for our movie discussion night)
Seeing everyone I can who just got back into town from vacation (since Sept is the in-between month, between summer and fall)
Hmm... that's the first of the list...which I actually need to get to.

The other "countdown" per say underway is that into the fall semester. This is a fun, exciting, I can't wait kind of countdown, however. It's the kind of countdown before you take off on a sprint running as hard as you can for 200 meters, but with all the energy in the world. It's a good feeling, not at all overwhelming. And I guess the other one, if I don't worry about anything getting unknowingly dropped by the wayside, is also somewhat injuvenating. So, off I go to finish the lists...

thoughts on a sabbath rest

I've been reading "The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanan, which has been good, really refreshing, and it seems to fall in step with various things God is teaching me. This morning and then now as I read a quote on a friend's blog ("We have to remember to stop because we have to stop to remember." - Judith Shulevitz, Bring Back the Sabbath) , this book and many other little puzzle pieces come together a bit more. So, here below are some of quotes I've appreciated from Mark Buchanan's book on sabbath resting. I'm about halfway through the book and could put many more quotes here, but this will suffice for now.

“Sanctifying some time adds richness to all time, just as an hour with the one you love brings light and levity to the hours that follow. To spend time with the object of your desire is to emerge, not sullen and peevish, but elated and refreshed. you come away filled, not depleted.

The Greeks understood. Embedded in their language, expressed in two distinct words for ‘time,’ is an intuition about the possibility of sanctified time. Time, they knew, has two faces, two natures. It exists in two separate realms,...One is sacred time, the other profane.

The first word is chronos... It is the time of clock and calendar, time as a gauntlet, time as a forced march. The word derives from one of the gods in the Greek pantheon. Chronos was a nasty minor deity, a glutton and a cannibal who gorged himself on his own children. He was always consuming, never consummated. Goya depicted him in his work ‘Chronos Devouring His Children.’ In the painting, Chronos is gaunt and ravenous, wild-eyed with hunger. He crams a naked, bloody-stumped figure into his gaping mouth. peter Paul Rubens depicted Chronos even more alarmingly: a father viciously biting into his son’s chest and tearing the flesh away, the boy arching backward in shock and pain.

Chronos is the presiding deity of the driven.

The second Greek word is kairos. This is time as gift, as opportunity, as season. It is time pregnant with purpose. In kairos time you ask, not ‘What time is it?’ but ‘What is this time FOR?’ Kairos is the servant of holy purpose. ‘There is a time for everything,’ Ecclesiastes says, ‘and a season for every activity under heaven.’

‘A time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot, ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,...
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace, (3:1-2, 5-8)...” (p. 36-37, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)



“The Chinese join two characters to form a single pictograph for busyness: heart and killing. That is stunningly incisive. The heart of the place the busy life exacts its steepest toll...

One measure for whether or not you’re rested enough... is to ask yourself this: How much do I care about the things I care about? When we lose concern for people,...when we cease to laugh...or weep; when we hear news of trouble among our neighbors and our first thought is that we hope it isn’t going to involve us-- when we stop caring about the things we care about-- that’s a signal we’re too busy. We have let ourselves be consumed by the things that feed the ego but starve the soul.

Busyness kills the heart... Busyness makes us stop caring about the things we care about. And not only that. Busyness also robs us of knowing God the way we might... other facets of God we discover only through stillness. ‘Be still,’ the psalm instructs,’and know that I am God’ (Ps. 46:10)” (p.45, 48, 49, The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan)