Re-Entry Thought #1

I went to some friends' double birthday party a few nights ago and as I left felt oddly awkward. Being in the process of reverse culture shock, or re-learning my own native culture, I wasn't surprised, but I was trying to figure out why. It occurred to me that two things had occurred that my cultural radar had picked up on.

(1) Americans go home early. It was 11:30pm and I was enjoying myself and expected the party to go on for at least 2-3 more hours with others staying late or heading out somewhere else. This is what would have happened in Spain. Not in the US. Around 11:30pm those remaining all left in about 2 seconds, which involved their quick goodbyes to the host. It felt abrupt and as if they had realized they had overstayed their welcome, which by the way I don't actually feel was the case. I offered to help, finished what I was saying to the hostess, and took off, feeling like I wished there was something else to go to. Yes, I'd get home at 12 or later, due to the drive home, but that's early for Spain for a night of hanging out with friends, and note NOT a late night. A late night, such as New Year's Eve would go at least to 7am. I'm no longer in Madrid.

(2) The other "strange" reality to my spanishized self happened a few times throughout the night. I had been talking to someone who got ready to leave, albeit someone I had just met and I felt VERY odd that they just walked off, sometimes without really saying goodbye. Or they did SAY goodbye, but there was no physical contact. No besitos, or spanish air kisses, no hug, no handshake, no nothing. Not that they did anything wrong, but in Spain things would have been done differently. So I found myself leaning toward them waiting for them to say goodbye, but instead they just took off.

Then there were those I hadn't met or to whom I hadn't been talking to right before I left, I always expected to receive besitos and for them to come over to say goodbye. It wasn't like we were a massive group, but alas NO. They said goodbye to the hosts, generally just a shout out and immediately left. No saying goodbye and hovering for a half hour. No making the rounds to say goodbye to everyone at the party, including those they had yet to meet. Nope. A quick, "okay, we're leaving. bye." End of the story.

I on the other hand either would have made the rounds AND said goodbye, but lingered for 30 minutes more, getting into one or two more last conversations. I tried that, unconsciously, but since I was the last one there, it WAS probably a bit awkward.

AHHHH, the craziness of re-entry. I'm sure this is merely the first of many awkward, at least in feeling, stories.

Para - what?

:-S Sorry for the gross picture and reference... but after a few days of spending time with other missionaries who have lived overseas for a time, realizing that my digestive system wasn't getting any better, and sharing some of my symptoms with people who live or have lived in developing countries, and then consulting with a friend who is a doctor, I came to the conclusion that my worst fears had come true (ok, that's a little overly dramatic). I did most likely, in fact, have a parasite of some sort that I had gotten, I'm fairly sure from the Subway restaurant in India.

I won't go into detail about the symptoms, but I've begun a parasite cleanse that means 30 days of taking capsules and drops of a mixture of herbs to kill the alive ones, the eggs, and to kill the eggs that hatch into alive little guys. Yuck.

The first 2 days I felt like poop. But then it occurred to me that I was killing living beings inside me, so it was no wonder. Now I feel pretty good as long as I watch what I eat, or more the quantity. Oh, the joys of life sometimes.

the current

Okay... I've been searching a good radio station since I got back to the US. Unfortunately I've yet to find anything consistent in STL, but I did find a FABULOUS station in Minnesota. The Current, Minnesota Public Radio. I like it even more for that. But the MUSIC is fab. And I've had it on all afternoon and NOT ONCE wanted to change the station. Thank goodness I can stream it here. Enjoy!

En Serio? What?

I went to meet a friend at First Watch the other morning for breakfast. So after breakfast I returned to my car to drive home and happened to glance at the guy in the truck next to me who was PICKING HIS NOSE HAIRS! What? In a parking lot that was fairly large and well traveled. He was parked directly in front of First Watch so those inside could watch too. What in the world? And he looked at me and continued with his tweezers in hand and looking in the rear view mirror. What in the heck would possess you to do that in the NON-privacy of your car? Isn't that something more well fitted for a vacant parking lot, or even better, your OWN HOUSE or at least a public bathroom or something. A little more discrete location. What in the world?

New Eyes

I got back to the US about a week ago and this time around will be here longer than normal, what in someways seems like an infinite amount. And I am VERY much in transition and culture shock. I generally experience all of this, but it's amplified greatly by the fact that I'll be here awhile longer than normal.

Thus I'm trying to see my "coming back" in the same way as I would if I were to go any new culture. I'm trying to observe and to "be open" instead of making quick judgment calls about nearly everything. And yet that's a hard thing to do when it comes to your own culture. By nature we as Americans feel the "right" to be as critical as we want of our own culture and right now nearly everything here that is "different" seems wrong and stupid to me. If it were the reverse I would say "oh, it's just different. i just don't understand how their culture works yet. I'm not from there so i have no right to be critical quite yet." And yet I am from here, so it's hard not to be critical despite the fact that I have change.

I've been so intentional about trying to understand and adapt to Spanish culture that I've forgotten some of how it is here. I guess it's normal, I've been here a week after 8 years in Spain.

I'll try not to be too critical of US culture, but I'm giving a disclaimer now: I'm in MAJOR transition, so I'm sorry if I'm critical. It's going to take me time to re-adapt.

Here are my somewhat harsh first observations (some which are always my thoughts when I return stateside):

I wish I could walk, take public transportation, instead of a car EVERYWHERE. St.Louis has ONE and a HALF metro lines and I've been told it is because we don't want the people from the city who would rob and increase crime in the suburbs to be able to easily get out here. (That seems INSANE. Seriously we believe that the city holds the "bad" people and the suburbs have the "good" people. That's a load of poop. And would they really get here more easily in public transportation. I'm guessing any real criminal can probably access or rob a car to get out here just as easily. And, unfortunately, I felt MUCH more safe in a big city in terms of walking at night alone. Yeah, maybe that was a European city, but maybe the problem is not city versus county.) And thus there are way too many cars and way too big of cars. Plus gas prices have skyrocketed. I knew this, but it's still a shock.

The food here (I know HUGE generalization) has no flavor to it. Huge portions are given and yet only sometimes is the food incredibly delicious. I know comparisons might not be good, but in comparison I could get food for half the cost and I almost always at INCREDIBLE food. And there I'm not exaggerating. Even grocery fruits and veggies lack flavor.

Cell phone prices are DOUBLE! No where else that I know of in the whole world pays for incoming calls and texts. To the best of my knowledge our prices are HUGE in comparison. For a technologically advanced country, this seems ironic. I guess if people are willing to pay... it probably isn't going to change.

Restaurant menus have MILLIONS of options that overwhelm me. I just need a few good options, not 100. Same with grocery stores. Okay, maybe I'd like more olive oil, olives, jamon serrano, queso manchego, but the grocery stores here are HUGE. At least two of my normal grocery store in Spain would fit in one here.

Too much noise!!!

Too many, "I'm sorry, did I come close to touching you or get a tiny bit too close." I'm so sick of hearing, "I'm sorry..." Physical touch is not bad. Brushing someone by accident is no big deal. Yeah, if you bump someone apologize, but the rest is too much.

Too many smiley, falsely happy people. This is probably a little critical and fully culture shock, but I get sick of the shiny-happy-people-holding-hands attitude. I like nice, kind people, but when they are genuine not fake. American culture is way more "polite" that what I'm used to, and it's driving me a bit batty.

Too much stuff.

Too little fashion sense.

Too COLD!!! Why am I freezing inside in July? I understand the need for AC, but couldn't we moderate that a bit?

And overpriced bad coffee... (Okay, I did go to a yummy NOT overpriced place this morning. But not the norm... or at least where I am right now.)