a plethera of emotions

so... over the past few days i've gone through euphoric denial where everything is horrible but was "for the best," "actually a blessing in disguise," "not really as bad as i thought," etc.,... all that may actually be true, but i was not at all in reality, it was pure denial. then came the sadness & tears, many tears, and the feeling that it wasn't fair, AT ALL. that i didn't understand, i was completely confused, taken by surprise, side-swiped, frustrated, sad, not sure what to do, unable to sleep or eat and almost unable to stop thinking about it other than the fact that that drove me nuts. so my only option, and a good one at that, was to go to the arms of the One who truly love me, fully without limit, the One who rescues me, is oh so tender, oh so kind, oh so gentle, and yet awesome and powerful. and He blew me away. while the past few days have been filled with many tears, the Lord has met me right where I am and is teaching me to trust him even in this.