why am i so anxious?

I don't generally think of myself as an anxious person. Most of the time I am not easily freaked out. Yet recently I've been delving into my reactions and relationships with my family and have noticed how anxious I can get. I get anxious when I expect someone to criticize me or find fault with me, particularly when I don't actually think I did anything wrong. I don't feel that way about just anyone, but only about those people whose opinion and approval I want and dare I say feel that I "need." So, in other words, family and those who I most want to approve me.

So, that's easy enough to identify. But then my seemingly irrational reactions, are the crazy part. When I am anxious, I am more on edge and more quick to strike back. When I am anxious, I am more defensive and more easily hurt, ironically. This mixture is disaster ready to happen.

And maybe I'm the only one who responds this way. I doubt it. Yet this is hopefully a place I will continue to grow, heal, and react better... I hope.