broken pots

Today I've been thinking... the road up is down, the way to healing is brokenness,... I am feeling a bit broken and thankful for that brokenness. I want Jesus to break all that makes me run to me as my strength and refuge. The Lord God Almighty is my God and He is the one who is able and worthy to be my strength and refuge. Oh, how I long to drink from His fountain of living water without ceasing. That is the water that refreshes and gives life, the only thing that refreshes and gives life. Let me run, run hard to him. Oh, precious Savior! Blessed be your name for now and forevermore. Amen.

in desperate need of God's grace and mercy

"Así pues, ahora no hay ya ninguna condenación para los que están unidos a Cristo Jesús, porque la ley del Espíritu que da vida en Cristo Jesús te ha liberado de la ley del pecado y de la muerte. Porque Dios ha hecho lo que no pudo hacer la ley de Moisés, que era incapaz de hacerlo a causa de la debilidad humana: Dios envió a su Hijo en la misma débil condición del hombre pecador y como sacrificio por el pecado...

...los que viven sometidos a los deseos de la débil condición humana no pueden agradar a Dios...

...Y si el Espíritu de aquel que resucitó a Jesús vive en vosotros, el mismo que resucitó a Cristo dará nueva vida a vuestros cuerpos mortales por medio del Espíritu de Dios que vive en vosotros...

...Todos los que son guiado por el Espíritu de Dios son hijos de Dios. Pues no habéis recibido un espíritu de esclavitud que os lleve ora vez a tener miedo, sino el Espíritu que os hace hijos de Dios. Por este Espíritu nos dirigimos a Dios, diciendo: '¡Abbá!, ¡Padre!'" (Romanos 8:1-3,8,11,14-15)

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus form the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit...

... Those who are in the flesh cannot please God... If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you...

...For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'"(Romans 8:1-5,8,11,14-15)

"Humillaos, pues, bajo la poderosa mano de Dios, para que él os enaltezca a su debido tiempo. Dejad todas vuestras preocupaciónes a Dios, porque él se preocupa de vosotros." (1 Pedro 5:6-7)

"Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you at the proper time. Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)


"Yo soy quien te manda que tengas valor y firmeza. No tengas miedo ni te desanimes, porque yo, tu Señor y Dios, estaré contigo dondequiera que vayas." (Josué 1:9)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

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so, it is ironic that last night I would write about God's grace. because today, or at least this evening, I have been struck by my great need for God's mercy and grace.

somehow i am a perfectionist. not in all things, not all the time, but somehow in the way i act toward others and in who i am as a person, somehow i have the misconception that i should be perfect. and when i am struck by the reality that i am not perfect, or haven't been what i wish i had been, then i feel horrible. a mess. a disaster. and somehow God's grace and his sacrifice doesn't seem like enough or like it pertains to me.

that was where i was stuck for awhile today, after talking with one of my roommates. i so want to be perfect, which if i think about it realistically is not really what i want because i want to be a real person, an alive person. yet i don't want to be imperfect. and i hate when i mess up, hurt someone or let someone down. ahhh!!!


so, as i began to want to find someone else to blame and as i wanted to pull away from my roommate emotionally, fortunately in God's grace it occurred to me that what was going on is that i felt bad and that i felt like crap and i wanted to make some kind of excuse to justify myself and to make it not my fault or my imperfection. but in this moment, in God's grace, the scripture above came to mind. it is for all of these reasons that I need Jesus. and it is for all of these reasons that Jesus' death and resurrection give me life and free me from living under the condemnation of myself or another. in Christ i am a new creation, i have a new heart, i have a new spirit that desires what is right, and i have a new identity. i am holy and i am perfect in God's sight. amazing! absolutely amazing!

so, yes, i am still very much in process and, yes, there is stuff that God is working in me that is yet to be finished. but fortunately because of who He is i can actually look at the crap in my life or in my heart and admit that those things are there. it doesn't change my worth. it doesn't change the way God sees me. He loves me and keeps loving me and he already knew all that stuff was there. He wants to bring life to those places of death.

so, yes, this is me verbally processing and working through this all. or at least beginning to let God's grace work in those dark places. :-)