jealousy...

I guess it goes way back... both in me and in the world. Jealousy. No, not something I'm proud of... but, yes, it's the third major emotion I've felt today.

It's my dad's bday and my sister and her beau are in town. I've felt major insecurity and thus a bit on edge. I've felt trapped. And I feel jealousy mixed with insecurity. Even though I am in my thirties, I still want my dad to love me. And I still am afraid that he (and everyone else for that matter) likes my little sister better than me. It seems completely idiotic. But it is the way I feel. It is the predominant emotion right now. And somehow these crazy emotions are getting in the way of being as productive as normal. Yet, it is good to get to some of the root, so that hopefully I can figure out what idols are there and then see that God really is sufficient to meet the need I seek to meet elsewhere. And to believe again that Christ died and rose again for exactly this reason, for me and for us.

I am extremely grateful that the Gospel is true. I am extremely grateful that I can rest in knowing that I belong to Jesus. He has paid my way and given me his righteousness in exchange. So, if I'm a mess, I can run to him. I don't have to try to pretend it's really not that bad. Because it actually is way worse than I thought... and is way worse than I even know...

So my little chain of confessions is not to say "i'm a mess and will never change" but rather to say "Jesus, oh how I need you. Make me more like you. Rescue me. And thank you for loving me... knowing full well that this is just the surface of the wretchedness in me."

"...we've cried and we've tried and we've sweat and we've bled. but we don't just need atonement, we need to be raised from the dead... you gotta let his blood stain you if you want to be free..." -- if you want to be free, waterdeep

Re-Entry Thought #6

Phones. Móviles. IPhone. Outdated flip-phone. Fone. Phone. I can't even hardly spell "phone" correctly. (Which is even more ironic considering the next post, that I just wrote.)

But anyway... the thorn in my side right now is that I have a fully functional and beautiful iPhone 4.0 that I bought in Spain for $50, but that I can only use with a free wifi signal in the US. No Sprint, no Verizon, no nobody,... And both the phone and the plan cost about double here - something that I can't presently afford. I'm still investigating, but right now I have the phone I used 6+ years ago, a cute white flip phone and no not a nice mini-phone, but one of the bulky you can almost feel the radiation from the battery in your hand type, pre-pay phones. I should be thankful for what I have. I'm working on that. But I remember fondly my days of checking and replying to my e-mail on the metro, skyping friends for free throughout the day on my PHONE and showing them whatever I wanted to (oh, and seeing them on my phone). One day... all things will be made right. (And to be fully honest, I'm a little conflicted. I have a love - hate relationship with all the new technology. On one hand I love having some of it, but two am very aware that at times I am a product of the horrible consumerism in the US. I don't want to just follow the man and buy into the system. But that is something else to write about another time. Good things to think about that expose the impure places in my heart that despite my best efforts continues to follow things that don't satisfy nor bring life. This may have to do with re-entry, but is a much deeper issue. Oh, the wonderful grace of Jesus to save me despite my very unworthiness & my, even now, at times very unrepentant heart.)

The kindness & sweetness of the Lord

I have MUCH to write here and doubt I'll get very far right now, since I actually need to be sleeping so I can get up in about 5 hours. The bad news is I haven't been sleeping well or much lately, which in inevitably means I'm fighting off a cold, fully equipped with vitamin c, equinacea, bee propolis, oj, and the like. But the Lord over the past few months and even just today has been so kind to me. I love the way he meets me just when I need it and just how I need it. I have a million and one decisions to make right now, with a million and one options (which as a friend I talked with today said, is NOT a good thing for me, the options that is). I've been running them through my mind, run a million and one scenarios, somewhat investigated the pros and cons of each, prayed, thought, and then finally came to my senses and realized i needed to talk it through with some people (primarily to verbally process and have them ask some good, insightful questions). God most definitely used them and I more or less had come to at least the first steps of the many decisions. I more or less have it all figured out now. I even have a few of the overwhelming situations that I've been at my wit's end trying to figure out, not fully fixed, but more or less settled and a plan and my mind no longer racing thinking through the possibilities and the "well, maybe"s.

Then I was spending some time praying with the Lord just about the future and the upcoming changes that are just a few months away and full of unknown. (I'm learning about myself that, which while I love change, I like to know what to expect and feel like things are under control and more or less figured out.) I'm grateful that I'm learning a whole new depth of what it means to walk by faith, to wait on the Lord, to trust him with that which I don't see (nor even know at times), and to let Him lead, trust that He'll show me the next steps and that He'll carry me and I don't HAVE to actually have it all figured out. In fact, it's probably better to not have some things figured out and in respect to this coming year and all my questions and unknowns, I probably have to just walk forward and the future and the plans the Lord has for me will just unfold.

Trust is a hard thing. Trust in unknown circumstances is a hard thing. And yet, while I'm still learning, trusting in someone I do know and someone who has proved time and time again to be trustworthy and sweet and kind and tender and to have my best in mind and to be far wiser and have far better plans than I do, shouldn't be that hard. And isn't the more closely I walk with Him. I'm grateful that the Lord's been so patient with me and so faithful to lead me slowly through various paths of unknown. When I do walk by faith and quiet trust, it's so glorious and wonderful and peaceful. I'm so grateful for this time. And so glad that the Lord cares about me and my heart. He is faithful and works despite me. And I love love love His word and the way it speaks LIFE to me and speaks VOLUMES to me.

I may at some point write more and more specifics about what I'm learning, the specific areas of "walking by faith" that I'm talking about, etc., but for now the general and not quite as personal will have to suffice.

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set thy people free
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in You.

Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Come, thou long awaited Emmanuel

Born thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.

By Thine own eternal spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to thy glorious throne.

Come, thou long awaited Emmanuel
Come, thou long awaited Emmanuel
Hallelujah
Come, thou Emmanuel

"Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus" - Sarah McCracken & Derek Webb

"In Christ Alone"

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my life, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest droughts and storms

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are still, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground his body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave he rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final death
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from his hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Rey de Justicia

"Rey de Justicia" - En Espiritu y Verdad

Rey de Justicia, Rey de Verdad
Rey de Salvación, Rey de Salvación

Yo quiero subir al monte del sol
Contigo habitar por la eternidad
Tu abriste camino que llevas al Padre
Entregaste tu vida, derramaste tu sangre

Rey de Justicia, Rey de Verdad
Rey de Salvación, Rey de Salvación

Marcaste la historia con tu salvación
Quitando el pecado que no se parro
Abriste camino y llevaste al Padre
Entregaste tu vida, derramaste tu sangre

Rey de Justicia, Rey de Verdad
Rey de Salvación, Rey de Salvación

Extienda tu reina en nuestras vidas
Ascienta tu trono en nuestros corazones
Extienda tu reina en nuestras vidas
Ascienta tu trono en nuestros corazones

Abriste camino que llevas al Padre
Entregaste tu vida, derramaste tu sangre
Abriste camino que llevas al Padre
Entregaste tu vida, derramaste tu sangre

Rey de Justicia, Rey de Verdad
Rey de Salvación, Rey de Salvación

I love this song. I think it's probably originally by Hillsong, but En Espíritu y Verdad sings it in Spanish. I love it because it reminds me of God's greatness and the security found in him alone. :-)

zechariah's song

Ok, I was just reading a bit more in Luke and came to Zechariah's Song, or Prophesy. Zechariah was the father of John the Baptist, Jesus's cousin, who came to prepare the way for the Lord, telling people to repent and be saved. Anyway, here it is, taken from Luke 1:67-79:

"His father (John the Baptist) Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied:

'Praise be the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and redeemed his people.
He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David
(as he said through his holy prophets of long ago),
salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us -
to show mercy to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, the oath he swore to our father Abraham:
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.

And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us form heaven
to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the place of peace."

christmas blues...

well... i think i definitely have a case of the Christmas blues today mixed with a sad heart. inevitably i have a couple sad days during or after Christmas, but it kind of took me by surprise today. in part, i'm guessing because i woke up this morning EXHAUSTED after four days of late nights thanks to all the crazy spanish holiday festivities, all good, fun things, my body just is a little worn out. and that mixed with so desiring to have someone to spend my life with, a husband, and seeing nothing in sight, or nothing very sure... honestly it's this later bit that got to me a bit today... that, i'm sure, mixed with the former and mixed with the fact that i feel a little under the pile with a couple things that have to get done before the end of the year. i'm sure in the light of day, and by God's grace, all will be fine. i've just had a little more disappointment the past few days than normal, failing yet another driving test which will only cost about 300 euros more, and seeing the boy that i like and who acts as if he feels the same but who has yet to really DO anything to say that we are more than just friends. honestly i haven't felt this heartsick in awhile, but then we haven't really talked in awhile. hmmmm... i know these are all opportunities to trust God and to take him at his word. i'm just a little tired. while the world seems awfully dark right now, i trust that the Lord will work in me and in my circumstances as he always seems to do...

Okay, how about a little light for my darkness. Thankfully this season is actually more than just spending time with family, it is about Jesus, the Light of the world.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. HE was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1.1-5

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." - John 1.14

I have been sad and bemoaned my state. Those are obviously valid emotions and yet Jesus, the son of God, came to save me, to make a way for Him to be my God and me to be his people. He came as a humble baby born in a manger, for there was no room for him in the inn. He came simply and humbly. Of all the people who felt betrayed, abandoned, alone, he would be the one.

Thank you, Lord, for giving your life for me, so that I might have life, so that I might be able to have hope, and so that I would have one who cares for me who also can actually do something about my situation. I choose to trust in you and I choose to hope in you, despite what I might feel or see with my eyes. Lord, help me to rest and trust in you. Amen.

three days walking...

as we were working at the house with pilgrims, most of which had spent nearly a month walking the camino and some just a few days AND as part of the training, we walked the camino for three days. we had 5 Euros each for the entire time, plus some group money which was limited. we walked with all the belongings we would take and we had to find housing along the way and take care of any other needs we (personally and collectively) might have.

the first day was our day with the Lord and we were asked to walk alone and given some instructions for how we could spend our time if we wanted some instruction. this was a great blessing, particularly after a week of having very little time alone. it was so good to have time really completely ALONE with Jesus. the only thing i was sad about was that this day came to a close.

also on this day the Lord blessed me with a walking stick. i asked a man at a store where we began in O´Cebreiro about buying a walking stick. all his sticks were 7 euros and i only had 5 for the next 3 days. i asked if he might have something less, he asked how much i had and i said 5, but quickly added that i couldn't spend it all on the walking stick. i told him that i could spend 2 and he said he didn't have anything, so i went on my way. about 5km (3 miles) into our walk, i saw a car stop ahead and it was Alicia (a friend) with a walking stick saying that the guy went looking for me later to gift me this walking stick. he said that he liked me and felt bad for not having anything to sell to me, so wanted to just give me one of his walking sticks. i just happened that she arrived right before the big hills came along (where a walking stick, particularly on the downhills, is very helpful). i might also add that this night, after finding a place for us to eat, a woman invited me to a coffee. so at the end of day one i still had all of my 5 euros.

this night we slept in a gym with hundreds of others and got VERY LITTLE sleep, thanks to the chorus of snoring people and several crying children which then echoed throughout the gym. at least it was dry and warm. and since we didn't have to pay for our housing, we got to have a bit nicer dinner with hot food!

the second day was the day where we would walk with one other person and ask the Lord to give us opportunities to bless the other pilgrims along the way and to share the Gospel with them. i walked with Esther from Austria and a 10-year old boy, Nicolas, from France. i got a chance to practice my limited french and to learn some more. i also met some fun catalans (from NE Spain) and got to talk quite a lot with Jose and the others about Jesus and what it means (and doesn't mean) to follow him. they invited me to a drink and some snacks. (i spent 1 euro on a coffee along the way, was later invited to a snack, and later got an extra euro that i was told to keep after buying the sandwiches and translating for our group. and someone invited me to another coffee. so, i still had 5 euros.)

this night we slept outside under a cement covered overhang. i met a sweet girl from Estonia (in northern europe). this night was nice other than the annoyance by some that several of our group got beds inside (for which we had to pay) and the rest of us (and the majority of us) were sleeping outside. i slept pretty well, but was harshly awakened by two japanese pilgrims sleeping with us under this overhang arguing and one throwing up in on the step right above where most of us were sleeping. it was strange and disturbing and for awhile i thought he was not drunk, but severely sick. my estonian friend was unfortunately directly by the vomit, so she quickly moved down to where we were and eventually the craziness subsided and we went back to sleep.

all three days were amazingly beautiful, but this day we left at 6am, which meant we were walking as the sun was rising and through a heavy fog, which made everything quite surreal.

the third day was the day we walked in small groups. andreu had asked to be my partner the day before, right after i had agreed to walk with ester. so he and i had agreed to walk together this day. marian, reyes, and ester joined our group (which was great fun). andreu and marian took advantage of me being around to practice their english and it was fun to get to know them both better. this day we walked 37km, which is a bit more than 22 miles. generally we would have walked the first stretch and done the later half on the next day.

after leaving at 6am without breakfast or coffee we decided that the first cafe we came to after walking a bit, we'd stop for coffee. we stopped at this really quaint rustic place which i have always passed when walking the camino, but never stopped to eat. we ordered coffee and pan con tomate (good spanish bread toasted with tomatoe and olive oil rubbed onto it - the best breakfast in the world, or close there to). the coffee came in large bowls, at least 2-3x what we would have normally gotten - tazones en vez de just tazas. we enjoyed a semi-leisurely breakfast and then went on our way. we pooled all our money together and by God's grace we had all saved most of it until this time. and thankfully our money went far at this particular cafe.

later we stopped in puertamarine (where several years ago both marian and i had jumped off a bridge a couple times into the lake below). we reminisced about this time, endured the never ending downhill, part of which we walked backwards to help out the knees, and all stopped to get some lunch. we enjoyed a salad between the now six of us and got tuna empanadas (a specialty of this region) and stopped by the grocery store for some aquarius (the spanish version of gatorade, and by the way in my opinion it also tastes much better) and fruit for the camino. the second stretch was ALL uphill and in full sun. it was definitely a time where i needed to depend on the Lord to be patient with others, to love others, and to choose to slow down to walk with those who wanted to stop and rest or go at a slower pace. it was good to be pushed beyond my normal limits. and it was great to have my friend marian, or mari-angeles, with me to talk and process our reactions (mainly the not so good reactions/emotions of impatience, judgment, criticalness, etc.,).

when we got to ligonde, where the refuge/albergue we have, it was SOOO nice! and we actually got to sleep in a bed for the night. it was nice to just be clean.

this night we shared about our experiences and i learned quite a bit from just the sharing of others. if i have time, i might share more about each of these days later.

note: the picture above has the yellow arrows that you follow on the camino. they show the way to santiago (the destination for most). we actually walked only to ligonde, where the albergue is.

café y nieves (coffee & snow)

on the way home from campus (UCM) today, i decided to stop by starbucks to spend some time with the Lord, process life, and possibly study a bit for my driving test. i sat there awhile enjoying my cappichino con soja, a muffin, and studying the book of matthew (in the Bible). i processed some thoughts i've had from the past few days of spending time with the team who came from the states.

an older woman eventually wandered over to the corner i was in and sat down with her mug of coffee. sensing that the Lord wanted me to talk with her, i mentioned how cold it was in the coffeeshop. we then talked about the weather for awhile, i asked her if she lived around the area and she said no. she said that she comes everyday to this starbucks to get coffee, go to mass at the church right by, and then stop by el corte inglés (a department store) all within a block of each other.

i asked her about the church and why she went there versus one closer to where she lived. pretty quickly we began talking about Jesus and the gospel and what it means to really know him. she said that God is the one who has never failed her. that he is the one who understands our finiteness and is quick to forgive. she talked about how having a relationship with him has changed her life. she said she liked this church in particular because they realize that the gospel is for NOW and that God wants us to experience eternal life NOW, not just after we die.

she said that it also changes how she treats others because each person is precious to the Lord and of great value in his eyes, so she should treat them as such. anyway, it was really encouraging and fun. i can't say that it's a normal occurrence to meet someone like that here in madrid, particularly someone of her age. it was fun and an unexpected little surprise. :-)

oh, and her name is nieves (snow). i may just start dropping by that starbucks more often (i'd never been there before).

kneeling at the feet of Jesus

This past weekend i had a planning retreat with the other staff with Ágape in Madrid - Miguel Ángel, Daniel, and Gabino.

To begin the first session Gabino led a devotional on the resurrection of Jesus, beginning by looking at Matthew 28:1-11.

Matthew 28:1-11 recounts when Mary Magdalene and the other Mary go to the tomb of Jesus and find that he is not there. An angel appears to them and tells them, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.'" The women hurry away to do just as they were told and Jesus meets them on the way. They kneel at his feet and worship him.

So Gabino asked us to recall all the times recorded in the Gospels that people knelt at Jesus' feet. There were at least 9 times:

(1) The magi, the 3 kings - at the birth of Jesus - bringing gifts of gold, incense and myrrh. They obviously came to worship Jesus.

(2) the man Jesus heals who was formerly demon possessed - Luke 8:35 - "Then people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid."

(Luke 8:26-39) "Then they sailed to the country of the Gerasenes, which is opposite Galilee. When Jesus had stepped out on land, there met him a man from the city who had demons. For a long time he had worn no clothes, and he had not lived in a house but among the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell down before him and said with a loud voice, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, do not torment me.” For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. (For many a time it had seized him. He was kept under guard and bound with chains and shackles, but he would break the bonds and be driven by the demon into the desert.) Jesus then asked him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Legion,” for many demons had entered him. And they begged him not to command them to depart into the abyss. Now a large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him to let them enter these. So he gave them permission. Then the demons came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

When the herdsmen saw what had happened, they fled and told it in the city and in the country. Then people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. And those who had seen it told them how the demon-possessed man had been healed. Then all the people of the surrounding country of the Gerasenes asked him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. So he got into the boat and returned. The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him."

(3) Jairus - a ruler in the synagogue who comes asking the Lord to heal his son - he comes asking on behalf of another, someone he loves - Luke 8:41 - "And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus' feet, he implored him to come to his house,

(Luke 8:41-42, 49-56) "Now when Jesus returned, the crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus' feet, he implored him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying.... While he was still speaking, someone from the ruler's house came and said, “Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher any more.” But Jesus on hearing this answered him, “Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.” And when he came to the house, he allowed no one to enter with him, except Peter and John and James, and the father and mother of the child. And all were weeping and mourning for her, but he said, “Do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. 54 But taking her by the hand he called, saying, “Child, arise.” And her spirit returned, and she got up at once. And he directed that something should be given her to eat. And her parents were amazed, but he charged them to tell no one what had happened."

(4) the woman who suffered from bleading for twelve years (which made her unclean by jewish laws)

(Luke 8:42-48) "As Jesus went, the people pressed around him. And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. 45 And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”"

(5) one of the ten lepers Jesus heals, a Samaritan - Luke 17:11-19 - "On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

(6) Peter - after he fishes with Jesus - when he sees his weakness and sin in respect to Jesus' holiness and glory - Luke 5:1-11

"On one occasion, while the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, and he saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon's, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken, and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him."

(7) the sinful woman who washes Jesus's feet with her tears and with perfume - Luke 7
36-50

"One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he canceled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he canceled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

(8) Mary, daughter of Lazarus, as she anoints Jesus feet - John 12:3 - "Mary therefore took a pound [Greek litra; a litra (or Roman pound) was equal to about 11 1/2 ounces or 327 grams] of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume."

(9) this passage in Matthew 28 - both Marys see the risen Lord and worship him. Matthew 28:9 "And behold, Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him."


Here are some of the points Gabino made concerning these passages:

. there were men, women, jews, gentiles, "religious" or well-seen people, "sinful" and not well-seen people who all knelt at the feet of Jesus

. they came with their needs - their personal needs, the needs of others, the needs of those they loved

. Jesus healed them, he was compassionate to them, he provided for their need, he did what they couldn't do


Gabino also pointed out that there is HUGE importance to the fact that Jesus did in fact rise from the dead. The fact that Jesus is no longer nailed to the cross, that he triumphed death and actually did pay our debt of sin is HUGE.

And what the angel calls the women who appear to Jesus' empty tomb are the same thing he asks of us today. Go and tell. That is what the angel says. He asks them to hurry and tell the disciples the good news of Jesus' resurrection. Gabino pointed out that Jesus' resurrection resulted in JOY and in OBEDIENCE. And in obedience and joy them going to tell others. Jesus is Risen! He is risen indeed! Happy Easter!

"Love is like that. It is always giving itself away. When it is self - contained, it is not love. In that sense, Jesus brought clearly into focus before his followers just what was meant by "God so loved the world." It meant that God gave all he had to those he loved, even his "only begotten Son." And for the Son, in incarnating that love, it meant renouncing his own right of living and giving his life for the world. ONly in this light - when the Son is put in place of the world - can one even begin to understand the cross." - Robert Coleman in The Master Plan of Evangelism