The kindness & sweetness of the Lord

I have MUCH to write here and doubt I'll get very far right now, since I actually need to be sleeping so I can get up in about 5 hours. The bad news is I haven't been sleeping well or much lately, which in inevitably means I'm fighting off a cold, fully equipped with vitamin c, equinacea, bee propolis, oj, and the like. But the Lord over the past few months and even just today has been so kind to me. I love the way he meets me just when I need it and just how I need it. I have a million and one decisions to make right now, with a million and one options (which as a friend I talked with today said, is NOT a good thing for me, the options that is). I've been running them through my mind, run a million and one scenarios, somewhat investigated the pros and cons of each, prayed, thought, and then finally came to my senses and realized i needed to talk it through with some people (primarily to verbally process and have them ask some good, insightful questions). God most definitely used them and I more or less had come to at least the first steps of the many decisions. I more or less have it all figured out now. I even have a few of the overwhelming situations that I've been at my wit's end trying to figure out, not fully fixed, but more or less settled and a plan and my mind no longer racing thinking through the possibilities and the "well, maybe"s.

Then I was spending some time praying with the Lord just about the future and the upcoming changes that are just a few months away and full of unknown. (I'm learning about myself that, which while I love change, I like to know what to expect and feel like things are under control and more or less figured out.) I'm grateful that I'm learning a whole new depth of what it means to walk by faith, to wait on the Lord, to trust him with that which I don't see (nor even know at times), and to let Him lead, trust that He'll show me the next steps and that He'll carry me and I don't HAVE to actually have it all figured out. In fact, it's probably better to not have some things figured out and in respect to this coming year and all my questions and unknowns, I probably have to just walk forward and the future and the plans the Lord has for me will just unfold.

Trust is a hard thing. Trust in unknown circumstances is a hard thing. And yet, while I'm still learning, trusting in someone I do know and someone who has proved time and time again to be trustworthy and sweet and kind and tender and to have my best in mind and to be far wiser and have far better plans than I do, shouldn't be that hard. And isn't the more closely I walk with Him. I'm grateful that the Lord's been so patient with me and so faithful to lead me slowly through various paths of unknown. When I do walk by faith and quiet trust, it's so glorious and wonderful and peaceful. I'm so grateful for this time. And so glad that the Lord cares about me and my heart. He is faithful and works despite me. And I love love love His word and the way it speaks LIFE to me and speaks VOLUMES to me.

I may at some point write more and more specifics about what I'm learning, the specific areas of "walking by faith" that I'm talking about, etc., but for now the general and not quite as personal will have to suffice.