Love, Love, Love

Last night my good friend Karin and I trekked over to Salamanca (due west) for the night. I must say that Salamanca is definitely fun, college town that reminded me of living in Lawrence, KS. As we walked the streets there were college students everywhere dressed as cupid or disfrazado (dressed up) as any number of things. We later found out they just finished exams and it is the day of the patron saint of one of the facultades (school of law or whatever it was), so everyone was going out all dressed up.

Our purpose for going was to see some friends of mine who lead a college ministry there called "En Vivo" and have both a local and a weekly meeting. Students here in Madrid are mostly still de examenes, so it was a good night to take off. (Let me just say that it was great - the trip, the meeting, and the people! It reminded me a lot of a weekly meeting we'd do in the States, with a bit of a Spanish twist.)

The subject, being Valentine's Day, or día de enamorados / día de san valentín, was LOVE. Sofía, one of the staff at En Vivo, gave the talk. She talked about her and Jesse (her husband)'s first date and how their relationship unfolded with a lot of witty comments along the way. Then she talked about the book Song of Songs from the Bible. She read Song of Songs 2:7, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

She then talked about the three types of love found in Hebrew. Both Rob Bell (with Nooma - www.nooma.com) and Sofia both described these loves with three flames, which can burn individually, but burn much brighter and more fully together.

First is "raya," which is the type of love you have between friends. It is found in Song of Songs 4:7 (amongst others), "You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless."

Second is the word "ahava." As Rob Bell explains it, "Ahava is the love of the will... This is way more profound than fleeting romantic feelings. This is much more than temporary urges. Ahava is making a decision to join your life to the life of another. This is an emotion that leads to commitment. Ahava is found in Song of Songs 8:7, "Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."

The third Hebrew word for love, which is also found in Song of Songs, is the word "dode." It is the one we are more accustom to being associated with "love" at least in many contexts. It is the sexual, physical element in a love relationship. Dode literally means "carouse," "rock," "caress." It's the love described in some of the more explicit passages in Song of Songs. "May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine." (Song of Songs 1:2)

As Sofia (and Rob Bell) said, these three types of love, these three flames are meant to burn as one, moving from a small little spark or flame on a candle to a much larger, more sustaining fire. In the Nooma film Rob Bell made, it goes from a small fire to a huge bonfire you can see from miles away.

Love is not just physical and sexual, but also friendship and commitment. The "ahava" (willful love) and "raya" (friendship) are what take more intentionality and time. "Dode" love is important too, but it generally is not the hardest of the three to create.

This is really the bare basics of the talk, but I thought it was a great way to introduce the idea of what God says about love and also a great reminder of the type of love God desires for us - one rich and full of life.

In a pit with a lion on a snowy day

I just started reading the book "In A Pit With a Lion On A Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson. And I have to say that thus far I am loving it. It talks about trusting God to do the impossible. (Which totally speaks to me. I love a challenge and I love the stories of God (and the stories in my own life) of God doing the IMPOSSIBLE. They are amazing and they remind me of who God is, of His power, His mighty, His awesomeness.) It also speaks to me because this year has definitely been full of more challenges than normal and obstacles / challenges that sometimes can seem insurmountable. So, it's good to be reminded of what is true of God and of us as his children. Yes, it may seem foolish or crazy, but our God is in the habit of doing the impossible and he does delight in us stepping out in faith, trusting him alone to hold us. So...since I can't just type the whole first couple chapters for you, I figured I'd at least put some of the passages of Scripture he sights and some quotes.

"You are responsible forever for what you have tamed." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"There was also Benaiah son of Johoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two of Moab's mightiest warriors. Another time he chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it. Another time, armed only with a club, he killed a great Egyptian warrior who was armed with a spear. Benaiah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with it... And David put [Benaiah] in charge of his bodyguard." - 2 Samuel 23:20, 21, 23

"How much happier you would be, how much more of you there would be, if the hammer of a higher God could smash your small cosmos." G.K. Chesterton

Judges 6-7 (which by the way is one of my favorite passages in Scripture) -- here below is just Judges 7:2-23

"The LORD said to Gideon, 'The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, 'My own hand has saved me.' Now therefore proclaim in the ears of the people, saying, 'Whoever is fearful and trembling, let him return home and hurry away from Mount Gilead.' ' Then 22,000 of the people returned, and 10,000 remained.

And the LORD said to Gideon, 'The people are still too many. Take them down to the water, and I will test them for you there, and anyone of whom I say to you, 'This one shall go with you,' shall go with you, and anyone of whom I say to you, 'This one shall not go with you,' shall not go.' So he brought the people down to the water. ANd the LORD said to Gideon, 'Everyone who laps the water with his tongue, as a dog laps, you shall set by himself. Likewise, everyone who kneels down to drink.' And the number of those who lapped, putting their hands to their mouths, was 300 men, but all the rest of the people knelt down to drink water. And the LORD said to Gideon, 'With the 300 men who lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hand, and let all the others go every man to his home.' So the people took provisions in their hands, and their trumpets. ANd he send all the rest of Israel every man to his tent, but retained the 300 men. And the camp of Midian was below him in the valley.

That same night the LORD said to him, 'Arise, go down against the camp, for I have given it into your hand. But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah your servant. And you shall hear what they say, and afterward your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp.' Then he went down with Purah his servant to the outposts of the armed men who were in the camp. And the Midianites and the Amalekites and all the people of the East lay along the valley like locusts in abundance, and their camels were without number, as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance. When Gideon came, behold, a man was telling a dream to his comrade. And he said, 'Behold, I dreamed a dream, and behold, a cake of barley bread tumbled into the camp of Midian and came to the tent and struck it so the tent lay flat.' And the comrade answered, 'This is no other than the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel; God has given into his hand Midian and all the camp.

As soon as Gideon hear the telling of the dream and its interpretation, he worshiped. And he returned to the camp of Israel and said, 'Arise, for the LORD has given the host of Midian into your hand.' And he divided the 300 men into three companies and put trumpets into the hands of all of them and empty jars, with torches inside the jars. And he said to them, 'Look at me, and do likewise. When I come to the outskirts of the camp, do as I do. When I blow the trumpet, I and all who are with me, then blow the trumpets also on every side of all the camp and shout, 'For the LORD and for Gideon.'

So Gideon and the hundred men who were with him came to the outskirts of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, when they had just set the watch. And they blew the trumpets and smashed the jars that were in their hands. THen the tree companies blew the trumpets and broke the jars. They held in their left hands the torches, and in their right hands the trumpets to blow. And they cried out, 'A sword for the LORD and for Gideon!' Every man stood in his place around the camp, and all the army ran. They cried out and fled. When they blew the 300 trumpets, the LORD set every man's sword against his comrade and against all the army. And the army fled as far as Beth-shittah toward Zererah, as far as the border of Abel-meholah, by Tabbath. And the men of Israel were called out from Naphtali and from Asher and from all Manasseh, and they pursued after Midian."

" 'My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' " Isaiah 55:8

"Your best thought about God on your best day falls 12.3 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is. We underestimate God's goodness and greatness by at least 12.3 billion light-years ["as high as the heavens are above the earth"]... Maybe it's time to stop placing four-dimensional limits on God. Maybe it's time to stop putting God in a box the size of your cerebral cortex. Maybe it's time to stop creating God in your image and let Him create you in His. The more we grow, the bigger God should get. And the bigger God gets, the smaller our lions become." Mark Batterson (p. 28, 29)

"Now the sons of the prophets said to Elisha, 'See, the place where we dwell under your charge is too small for us. Let us go to the Jordan and each of us get there a log, and let us make a place for us to dwell there.' And he answered, 'Go.' Then one of them said, 'Be pleased to go with your servants.' And he answered, 'I will go.' So he went with them. And when they came to the Jordan, they cut down trees. But as one was felling a log, his axe head fell into the water and he cried out, 'Alas, my master! It was borrowed.' Then the man of God said, 'Where did it fall?' When he showed him the place, he cut off a stick and threw it in there and made the iron float. And he said, 'Take it up.' So he reached out his hand and took it." - 2 Kings 6:1-7

(Note: pay attention to the axe. It is not a normal thing that iron would float!)

"Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed them to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish. When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, 'Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.' So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten." - John 6:7, 11-13

"We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

Dios, Nuestra Poderosa Roca

Here's some other thoughts for the day and a picture from where I went rock climbing this weekend (in Cuenca, about two hours outside of Madrid).

God, Our Powerful Rock (DIOS, NUESTRA PODEROSA ROCA)

"There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God." - 1 Samuel 2:2

("No hay Santo como Jehová; Porque no hay ninguno fuera de ti, Y no hay refugio como el Dios nuestro." - 1ª Samuel 2:2)

"For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?" - Psalm 18:31

("Porque ¿quién es Dios sino solo Jehová? ¿Y qué roca hay fuera de nuestro Dios? - Salmo 18:31)

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God." - Psalm 62:5-7

("En Dios está mi salvación y mi gloria; En Dios está mi roca fuerte, y mi refugio." - Salmo 62:7)


"But God's firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and 'Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.'" - 2 Timothy 2:19

("Pero el fundamento de Dios está firme, teniendo este sello: Conoce el Señor a los que son suyos; y: apártese de iniquidad todo aquel que invoca el nombre de Cristo." - 2ª Timoteo 2:19)

Ethiopia & Starvation - PROPOSAL NR. 19 + GIFT, Anno Dijstra

This is the third of the Madrid Abierto exhibits -- "PROPOSAL NR. 19 + GIFT" by Anno Dijstra. This is actually the first thing that caught my eye from the Madrid Abierto installations. I was walking down the Castellana between Colón and Cibeles on the way (ironically) to check on some five star hotels for a pianist who is coming in April to play for some of the more distinguished political figures and musicians on our behalf. It's a great honor to have him. But the irony comes when I passed this statue of a starving boy in Ethiopia, in the middle of the sidewalk.

I had just gotten back from Paris and looked at a friend's pictures of shantytowns in Africa, feeling a bit of the tension between the way the west lives in comparison with much of the rest of the world. I had also begun to read "Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne which also points out this disconnect between the way most of us live and are completely (or nearly) oblivious to what is going on around the corner, in another part of the world. Now I don't think we all need to move to Ethiopia, but I do think we (including myself) can be more conscious of how our lives affect others, challenge ourselves and others to make a difference in the well-being of others by living a bit more simply, and by educating ourselves about what really is going on around the world. I mean, if we live in the richest countries in the world, our countries and people are probably in a place to help and to make a difference.

So, anyway, I saw this statue which is the size of an actual kid and where you can see his bones and enlarged, malnourished stomach. And in the background there is a strategically placed car with a trunk full of food. I thought about what an incredible idea it was to bring that which is so far removed from our daily lives (at an emotional and conscious level) to our normal, everyday life.

"Obliged seeing

A witness of the famine in Ethiopia in 1984, 14 years old, Anno was watching television at home.

A memory of a scene seen on television. An image with which one is not directly related to, immaterial, elusive, without a location, floating through the air. One can't go back to the place where the drama happened. The television in the living room is the location where it happened, but the television shows already other images and there is nothing in this living room that refers to the drama.

How free is watching without engaging? In other words, can a witness become guilty because of what he sees?." (taken from http://www.madridabierto.com/en/artistical-interventions/2008/anno-dijkstra.html)

La Guerra Es Nuestra - The War is Ours

The second installation of Madrid Abierto that caught my eye is "La Guerra Es Nuestra" by Annemarie Ho & Inma Lee.

What I like about this one is that it demands that we cannot merely be passive in the world, be it with the war, the election, poverty, hunger, the gospel,... We are part of the world and thus whether actively or passively our decisions or lack thereof have an impact.

This picture is a little hard to see, but look at the top of the building where it says "La guerra es nuestra" in black. It is on Gran Via, one of the main big streets in downtown Madrid.

"The piece is a large sign with the statement "La guerra es nuestra" spelled out in black, back-lit lettering, which is attached to the façade of the Círculo de Bellas Artes.

The sign utilizes a format that is most often seen on storefronts -the viewer may initially overlook the sign, as we are often indifferent to new information and media that is constantly being introduced to us, but a second glance may procure a different reaction. Moreover, the placement of such a sign on a well-known cultural building leads to a juxtaposition of the political onto the beautiful and the historical.

The initial reference in the statement "La guerra es nuestra" is, of course, the war in Iraq. But the statement is also open-ended; the "war" or the "guerra" can refer to anything that incites concern in the viewer. In Madrid, this might be the activities of the Basque group Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (ETA) or the need for more affordable housing within the city. The goal of the artists is to show that everyone is a voluntary participant in the political. Indifference is a statement, as much as waging a war or being involved in political activism." (taken from http://www.madridabierto.com/en/artistical-interventions/2008/annamarie-ho-inmi-lee.html)

Not For Sale - No Se Vende

As I've walked around Madrid, the new installations of "Madrid Abierto" has caught my attention. In the next 3 blog entries I'll share some of the pictures and explanations from their webpage.

"Not For Sale" (by Alicia Framis & Michael Lin) is the first one, speaking to the selling of kids around the world, be it for child labor, child soldiers, child prostitution,...

"Alicia Framis presents her most recent work, the majority of which was prepared in Shanghai, where she currently lives and works... Not For Sale is a work in progress that analyses the situation of children who are sold all over the world. The project began in the city of Bangkok, Thailand, where Framis produced a first portrait of a naked chets child but a necklace that read "not for sale."

At first glance, the images are gentle and sweet. The children are smiling and appear healthy and happy. It is only on close inspection that what Framis seeks to emphasise comes to light: the reality of the fragile and dangerous situation that many children currently find themselves in. From the moment we are born, a price tag is placed on us, and many children face the real risk of becoming just another product of the global market." (taken from http://www.madridabierto.com/en/artistical-interventions/2008/alicia-framis-michael-lin.html)

Sea Kayaking on the Mediterranean

Okay, my kayaking on the Mediterranean coast wasn't quite as action packed as this picture seems to imply, but it was definitely fun.

During my time in Nerja, a bit east of Málaga along the southern coast of Spain, we had a day to explore and do whatever. (Unlike me, most of the people at this conference live in countries other than Spain and in fact many of them live in countries that only have a few hours of daylight right now. Places like Siberia (seriously), Sweden,... So for them, the sun and beach and Spain is even more of a retreat.) Since some of us live in Spain and don't really want to sit on a bus for half the day to see something (Gibralter or Granada) we could see another time, we looked into some options closer to Nerja.

Wes had been kayaking in Nerja before so we decided to head up the coast and kayak in the ocean. We started off just carrying the kayaks to the shore, doing some group calisthenics, and kayaking 101 instructions about how to row, how to maneuver, and how to reenter if you flip. We then got in the water and took off.

We went through several caves, which only the kayak would fit through. We saw some schools of fish. We saw goats from the side of the cliffs. We saw a few small waterfalls. We saw something called tomatito which looks like a red tomato-esce sea urchin of sorts but is extremely poisonous. One kayak flipped I think a total of 5 times. A lot of fun was had. And we got a great workout - 3 or 4 hours basically of none-stop rowing.

Afterward we enjoyed some local paella in the outside ocean air, which was amazing (considering that I wasn't actually cold in the tank top i had one).

Sevilla, Mexican food, Army bases

It's time for a story! A blast to my former life in Spain, in Sevilla.... in 1999.

It was my first year in Spain. There were five of us on the STINT team there and I was loving Spain, loving the adventure of life overseas, and excited about how God was going to work. We had now been in Sevilla all of a couple months. Since we had yet to find good Mexican food in Sevilla (Unlike the common American myth that Spain has tacos, burritos and is just the mothership of Mexico, Spanish food is NOT spicy and VERY different from Mexican food.), we had decided to throw our Spanish friends a real Mexican party.

We had heard from a reliable source (David - a spanish friend) that we should head to the local army base to get the food since they had American stores there with everything we would need. I had never been on an army base, but David assured us that all we needed was our US passport and we would be fine. So, Tawnny, Ann, and I found the bus that headed to the town where the base is situated, about an hour or so away. When we got there we looked for a taxi and told him to take us to the base.

We got to the guard at the base, showed him our passports, and told him that we were going shopping (that was our business on the base). He waved us on and directed us to the grocery store. We were in supermarket heaven. There were Pyrex dishes that cost half their normal price. Tawnny and Ann stocked up on Dr. Pepper. There were tortilla chips, flour tortillas, corn tortillas, salsa, chili pepper,... You name it they had it. So we stocked up. All we could carry in our backpacks and arms we bought.

So we get into the line to check out and as we are nearing the cashier I ask the man behind us how we get back to Sevilla. Is there a bus? Or do we have to call a taxi? Or what? He then asks how we got there and I of course tell him. We wanted to buy mexican food supplies for a party we were having, so we took a bus, then a taxi, and now we just needed to get home. He said that there was an employee bus that too off from the hotel later that day, but that he didn't know the hours. He then asked if we had a military ID and of course I said "no." He asks how we got on base. I tell him that we just showed them our passports and told the guards we were going grocery shopping. He says that we're not really supposed to be there, but just not to make a big deal of it. He says he has no idea how we're going to get back, but that our best bet is to head over to the hotel.

About this time we start to check out. I check out and then Tawnny checks out. Somewhere after we've both signed for it I must have asked the guy one more thing and the cashier then asks for our ID. Mind you we've already checked out. We say that we don't have a military ID and she begins to freak out, I mean really go nuts. "But you can't be here." "You can't buy this food." She just keeps on making statements, which we were obviously completely oblivious to up until now.

I offer to return it and she just continues to say that we can't buy it (when we already have). I ask for the third or fourth time if she wants us to return it and still all she can say is that we're not supposed to be there. So we leave and assume that the army police will now come to arrest us or shoot us or something horrible. Or that we will at least not make it back to Sevilla.

We sit on a bench. Ann and Tawnny drink their Dr. Pepper. We pray. And then we head over to the hotel.

We enter and there is CNN in English on a huge television screen. Since I now know we weren't really supposed to be there I just ask when the bus comes and the maitre-de says in about an hour. I ask if there is another one and she says no. So we sit down and I am fluctuating between just trusting it will all work out and expecting the police to come for us. The van arrives and we get on with all the employees and, while being fully honest, try not to disclose too much information. The bus takes us virtually to our house and all is well.

A couple days later we make an amazing mexican extravaganza, which our friends love, and for the next couple years I enjoy my cheap pyrex casserole dishes. Never again do I venture to an army base, but I will forever have imprinted in my mind the picture of us sitting there waiting for some men with guns or a bus to come by.

Rabbits, Hares, Paté, and Conflict Avoidance

So... I haven't yet gotten the nerve up to talk to "Joseph" about his 3am blaring television. KayakGirl (Becky) actually has a decent point. The poor man who lost his wife two years or so ago probably is an insomniac and has no clue that his lack of hearing and intent to lull himself back to sleep irritates me (which may be why i should actually say something, but I partially just want to get over it (if possible) - we'll see...).

Additionally, he has begun to take a liking to us, his young american neighbors. He seems to have a fascination in general with the US and often just needs someone to listen to him. Today on the way out the door he stopped me and said he had some homemade paté for me, if I liked paté. I do, or at least some paté, so I now have some homemade rabbit paté. Joseph hunts, so he actually killed the rabbit, soaked it for awhile in vinegar, olive oil, and spices, added chicken liver, some cognac, lots of sherry, and some other stuff, stewed it awhile, and voila. You can't really be upset at someone who just needs a friend and someone to bestow upon his cooking.

Somehow I'm not sure that the path of least resistance nor avoiding conflict is actually the best route. Even as I write this I am struck by the fact that everything in me says that I need to mention his TV. I just want to keep the peace and keep on good terms with my neighbor. But experience and conviction tells me that in would be better to just nip it in the bud and trust God to work in the midst of it all. We'll see, but it is true that resolving conflict does in fact decide to engage versus just allowing walls and distance to be built. (Okay, I'm definitely "verbally" processing.)

So... one more little Joseph story... with several rabbit trails added as a bonus. Joseph, as I will call him, has given us great gazpacho (a yummy cold tomato soup typical for summer and of spain), always likes us to see the improvements he makes to his house (like the fancy new bathroom he put the end of 2007). So, I think I had brought him some cookies or brownies or pumpkin something I had made for some event. He had just gone hunting, so after showing me the new additions to his apartment he offered me pheasants. I said no thanks, not really knowing how they would come and also because you almost always first say no just to be polite. He of course insisted and then pulled 2 freshly killed pheasants out of a bag he had, feathers, heads, talons, and all. He said he had more than he could eat and that his freezer was filling up quickly (which he of course showed me and described in detail). I thought about it briefly and then decided it wasn't the day I wanted to learn to pluck and prepare a fresh pheasant. But I am learning that Joseph knows quite a bit about cooking, not just spanish staples like tortilla de patata and gazpacho but he also knows how to make some of the delicacies and home-cooked stuff I'd love to learn how to make. He's bringing over the recipe later for the paté and I may have to make a list of things I'd like to learn how to make.

Some random facts I found out about rabbits / hares, looking for a picture:
+ At present, Spain is the third largest producer of rabbit meat in the World, after China and Italy.

+ Apparently there is a difference between "rabbits" and "hares," and the meat in my paté is actually from a hare. Hares do not bear their young below ground in a burrow as do other Leporidae, but rather in a shallow depression or flattened nest of grass called a form.

Hares are adapted to the lack of physical protection, relative to that afforded by a burrow, by being born fully furred and with eyes open. They are hence able to fend for themselves very quickly after birth — that is to say, they are precocial. By contrast, the related rabbits and cottontail rabbits are altricial, having young that are born blind and hairless.

All rabbits (except the cottontail rabbits) live underground in burrows or warrens, while hares (and cottontail rabbits) live in simple nests above the ground, and usually do not live in groups.

Hares are generally larger than rabbits, with longer ears, and have black markings on their fur. Hares have not been domesticated, while rabbits are often kept as house pets.

+ Hares are very fast moving. The European Brown Hare (Lepus europaeus) can run at speeds of up to 70 km/h (45 mph).

Highlights from Nerja

I had the great privilege of spending last week in Nerja, Spain (southern Spain, a bit east of Málaga) for an ICS / STINT conference of CCC's International Campus Staff and interns. While I likely will write more either on my ministry webpage, in a newsletter, or here, I figured I might as well share some of my highlights and things I learned / am learning from that time.

Highlights

1 - Spending great time with some amazing and fun friends and colleagues from across Western Europe and other parts of the world.

2 - Having people to play some great games of ultimate, soccer/football, to go kayaking on the ocean for 3+ hours, and to play a game of settlers.

3 - Listening to Eric & Elizabeth share both from the Word of God and from their lives what it means to walk by faith, in gratitude, and in humility. The women also got some time alone with Elizabeth to hear about some of the crazy and supernatural stories of God's sovereignty in their lives and things that only seem to find a place in Hebrews 11 amongst the heroes of the faith. (Due to the sensitive nature of them, I can't really share them in full here, but would love to share more. I am truly in awe.)

4 - Hanging out with other Spain staff. Hanging out with the Toulouse team. Hanging out with other International Campus Staff.

5 - The amazing ocean and mountains, both in near sight from where we stayed.

6 - Great time with the Lord to reflect back upon this year thus far and with the loud sound of waves crashing in the background.

7 - Having some face-to-face conversations about the future of Madrid, Western Europe, Spain, etc., and about getting some more staff here.



Some of the things I learned / am learning as a result of that time

1 - Probably the number one thing that God seemed to be impressing upon me is that he is DELIGHTED by me and in me. Along with that that he loves me immensely and that he wants me to walk by faith independent of what results.

2 - I'm continuing to learn what it means to walk by faith and no by sight and without trying to put God in my box of how and when He needs to work. Yet again, I am also learning again to let go and not seek to "fix" or control things (which in actuality are very much out of my control).

3 - I also was reminded again of why I'm here, why I am passionate about others hearing the Gospel and growing in what it means to know and be awed by God. In this I am reminded of the great worth of the Gospel and how it has transformed me and transforms others.


These are really just some of the big brushstrokes, which when I have time I can flesh out a bit more.

My Neighbor

I should actually be asleep right now. It is 2:22 am. And yet while I remain awake, my neighbor who one of my roommates calls "Joseph," is also very much awake (or at least his very loud television is).

Somehow it seems a common occurrence that Joseph around 2 or 3 am turns his television up to unprecedented volumes. Currently it sounds like the news, but he also is flipping channels, which scares me a bit. I am not so much bothered by the frequent blaring (really) classical or opera music early in the morning (particularly on saturday, when I'm sleeping in a bit). It literally sounds as if an orchestra is serenading me and actually present in my room with me. That doesn't bother me that much because, really, of all the noises your neighbor can make blaring classical music is by no means the worse.


But horribly loud war movies, even horribly loud news, at 3 am is not exactly my cup of tea. I need to say something to him and just haven't gotten up the nerve to do so. I guess I can be thankful that it is just the news. Unfortunately (which is part of why I was a bit embarrassed to say anything), often the late night blaring tv shows are not just war movies and load news, but instead some sort of exotic, porn, which either gets me to bang on the wall (which never helps and just makes me more angry), go sleep on the couch, put on my ipod, and/or just pray for him, for my heart, and that it would just go away.

My theory (I seem to like to figure things out, so always have some answer for the WHY questions, even if I really have no idea) for the extreme volume levels is that he just falls asleep and then hits the remote by accident. He is an elderly man, so his hearing may have something to do with it, or maybe he just likes the surround sound effect and is oblivious to the fact that other people in the building may actually be sleeping, or at least were sleeping or near asleep prior to the unruly noise.

So, I guess I can be thankful that tonight (a) I'm already awake so was not awakened, (b) it is just loud news (which by the way just ceased), and which (c) will actually enable me to say something without having to talk about the various subjects of his viewing practices. If you think about it, I'd love your prayers in this... both for my patience and my conversation with Joseph (who in all other ways is a great neighbor).

Oh no, it's back. Oh, now it's gone.... Nope, now it's back, but just music, oh and he actually turned it down a bit. Amazing!... Oh, now we have a war movie it sounds like. Well, now I actually am going to get some rest.

Well, I am still in Paris (with just a good night sleep and half a day left) and loving it. It is almost 23:30 and we had a quite night of camembert, smoked salmon, french bread, bordeaux wine, the great dark chocolate the hotel leaves every night with a weather report for the next day, and some clementines in our hotel room. I'm trying to catch up, or begin to catch up on e-mail, after a week of having no internet connection (not all a bad thing) and noticed it was raining somewhat hard. So of course I peaked my head out the window to see the rain and the incredible view of the Eiffel Tower that we have (which I had forgotten about in the meantime). It was glittering, which it does half the time at night, fluctuating between the glittering/sparkling and the just normal lights. Definitely enchanting, which is my word to describe the trip, definitely enchanting.

je t'aime, paris

Let me just say that I love Paris. I just arrived last night and have enjoyed an absolutely fabulous day of divine food (crepes, smoked herring on a bed of lettuce, espresso, raisin bread, incredible wine & cider, duck, dark chocolate,...), people, and an amazing hotel (thanks to a generous friend). Our room is tucked away in an upscale neighborhood, but from our window you can see the eiffel tower down the road. It is amazing!

While I'm adding little tidbits, I must say that the parisians we've encountered have been some of the kindest, friendliest, most helpful people we could find. And, while I attempt to communicate as much as I can in french, my french is fairly pathetic and rarely comes out quite the way i wish it would. But Paris is enchanting, amazingly majestic and beautiful, and I wish I had more than 2 and a half days here. I guess that just means that I'll have to come back. I'll write more when I'm a bit more awake.

Free Rice

http://www.freerice.com/


I just recently found this webpage where you match words with their synonym, kind of like the SAT/ACT if I remember correctly. Anyway, every answer you get right you give 20 grains of rice through the UN. It may not be a ton, but with everyone playing the game now and then it puts a drop in the bucket. And it's kind of a fun little game. Check it out.

brothers... my brother

My brother Drew recently came to visit. It had been a year and a half since I last had seen him and he came to visit for about a week. It definitely took a bit of adjusting, but it was the best possible present someone could have gotten me. And he came at one of the strangest times of the year for me, after Christmas, but while students are busy studying for finals, so all the more it was both timely and a huge blessing.

What I appreciate about my brother, to name a few things, are that he knows me from the time he was born until now, toda la vida. which is really nice particularly considering that no one (who knows me well) in Spain has known me for more than two and a half years and some of them just the past year. Secondly, because Drew is my brother he is able to both say things that mean the world to me (like that he is proud of me or really impressed by something) and that have much insight into my life. The downside is that I can also assume that he understands me at any given moment better than he actually does and that I can both be meaner to and more easily irritated by him than to/by virtually anyone else.

One of the good things about this visit (in addition to learning a TON about Spanish wines (unbeknownst to me my brother is REALLY a Spanish wine expert, even though according to him he knows a lot less about Spanish wine than other types) and exploring some really fun places to watch jazz, flamenco, and eat great food), was that I was reminded of who I am, who I am independent of a hard year and independent of my surroundings and circumstances. There is something about someone who has known you your whole life and who cares about you, at least for me, that reminds me of both good moments and things God has done in my life, powerful things.

Ausencias / Missing

I recently (with my brother) went to an exposition at the Casa America Museum called "Ausencias" or "Missing, or Absent, People." It showed pictures during the dictatorship in the mid to late 70s and then the same people several years later, with the absence of those now missing. Pictures always speak louder than words, but to see a woman now missing her husband, a daughter missing both parents, a couple both missing, half of a group of friends, and various others MISSING. Some they know were killed. They were against the dictatorship, spoke against it and were killed. But others just disappeared. They don't know for sure what happened. They just went missing one day and never again appeared. And unfortunately in Argentina, Chile and other countries this was not all that uncommon. And, unfortunately it is not merely a thing of the past. Here are a few of the pictures I took of the exposition, including a list of the names of the missing.


It reads, "The Detained, Disappearances, Assassinated of Argentina - 1976-1983"









Here are some song lyrics. Maná and a woman who sings a similar song, but which I can't think of the name of her nor her song, were in the video also at the exposition which showed the photographer taking the various photos and showed the town this all took place in and various, astoundingly high facts and numbers of the disappearances. The others I just found as I searched for the mysterious woman latin singer of whose name I can't think.

Maná - "Desapariciones" - Album: MTV Unplugged, 1999

Que alguien me diga si han visto a mi esposo preguntaba la Doña
("Can someone tell me where my husband is?" asked the woman)
Se llama Ernesto X, tiene cuarenta años
(His name is Ernesto X, he is 40 years old)
Trabaja de celador, en un negocio de carros
(He works as a car salesman)
Llevaba camisa oscura y pantalón claro
(He was wearing a dark shirt and light pants.)
Salió anoche y no ha regresado y no sé ya qué pensar
(He left last night and hasn't returned and I don't know what to think)
Pues esto, antes no me había pasado
(This has never happened before)
ooo...

Llevo tres días buscando a mi hermana
(I've been looking for my sister for 3 days)
Se llama Altagracia igual que la abuela
(Her name is Altagracia/Much Grace the same as grandma)
Salió del trabajo pa´ la escuela
(She left from work for school)
Llevaba unos Jeans y una camisa clara
(She wore jeans and a light colored shirt)
No ha sido el novio, el tipo está en su casa
(She's not with her boyfriend because he's at home)
No saben de ella en la PSN ni en el hospital
(Neither the police nor the hospital know where she is)
ooo....

Que alguien me diga si han visto a mi hijo
(Has anyone seen my son?)
Es estudiante de pre-medicina
(He's a premed student)
Se llama Agustín y es un buen muchacho
(He's named Agustin and is a great kid)
A veces es terco cuando opina
(Sometimes he can be hard-headed)
Lo han detenido, no sé qué fuerza
(They arrested him, but I don't know what has happened)
Pantalón claro, camisa a rayas
(He wore light pants and a striped shirt)
Pasó anteayer
(It happened the day before yesterday)

A dónde van los desaparecidos
(Where do the missing go?)
Busca en el agua y en los matorrales
(Look in the water and in the brushwood)
Y por qué es que se desaparecen
(And why is it that they go missing?)
Por qué no todos somos iguales
(Why are we not all equal?)
Y cuándo vuelve el desaparacido
(And when will the missing return?)
Cada ves que lo trae el pensamiento
(Every time that the thought comes up)
Cómo se le habla al desaparecido
(How does one talk about the missing)
Con la emoción apretando por dentro
(With the emotion pushed down inside)
oh.......

Clara, Clara, Clara Quiñones se llama mi madre
(My mom is named Clara, Clara, Clara Quiñones)
Ella es, ella es un alma de Dios
(She is, she has a heart of gold)
No se mete con nadie
(She gets along well with everyone)
Y se la han llevado de testigo
(And she went to be a witness)
Por un asunto que es nada más conmigo
(For that reason she no longer is with me)
Y fue a entregarme hoy por la tarde
(I went this afternoon to see her)
Y ahora dicen que no saben quién se la llevó del cuartel
(And now they say that they don't know who took her from court)

Anoche escuché varias explociones
(Last night I heard various explosions)
Patún pata patún pete
(sounds of a gun)
Tiro de escopeta y de revolver
(There were shots from a gun)
Carros acelerados frenos gritos
(Cars excelerating, breaks screeching)
Eco de botas en la calle
(The sound of boots on the streets)
Toque de puertas por dioses platos rotos
(Banging on doors, breaking plates)
Estaban dando la telenovela
(The soap opera was on)
Por eso nadie miró pa’fuera
(So no one looked outside)

A dónde van los desaparecidos
(Where do the missing go?)
Busca en el agua y en los matorrales
(Look in the water and in the brushwood)
Y por qué es que se desaparecen
(And why is it that they go missing?)
Por qué no todos somos iguales
(Why are we not all equal?)
Y cuándo vuelve el desaparacido
(And when will the missing return?)
Cada ves que lo trae el pensamiento
(Every time that the thought comes up)
Cómo se le habla al desaparecido
(How does one talk about the missing)
Con la emoción apretando por dentro
(With the emotion pushed down inside)
----
"Mothers Of The Disappeared" - U2 - Album: The Joshua Tree

Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

Night hangs like a prisoner
Stretched over black and blue
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the trees our sons stand naked
Through the walls our daughters cry
See their tears in the rainfall
---

"They Dance Alone (Gueca Solo)" - Sting

Why are these women here dancing on their own?
Why is there this sadness in their eyes?
Why are the soldiers here
Their faces fixed like stone?
I can't see what it is they despise
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone
It's the only form of protest they're allowed
I've seen their silent faces scream so loud
If they were to speak these words
they'd go missing too
Another woman on the torture table
what else can they do
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone

One day we'll dance on their graves
One day we'll sing our freedom
One day we'll laugh in our joy
And we'll dance
One day we'll dance on their graves
One day we'll sing our freedom
One day we'll laugh in our joy
And we'll dance

Ellas danzan con los desaparecidos
Ellas danzan con los muertos
Ellas danzan con amores invisibles
Ellas danzan con silenciosa angistia
Danzan con sus padres
Danzan con sus hijos
Danzan con sus esposos
Ellas danzan solas
Danzan solas

Hey Mr. Pinochet
You've sown a bitter crop
It's foreign money that supports you
One day the money's going to stop
No wages for your torturers
No budget for your guns
Can you think of your own mother
Dancin' with her invisible son
They're dancing with the missing
They're dancing with the dead
They dance with the invisible ones
Their anguish is unsaid
They're dancing with their fathers
They're dancing with their sons
They're dancing with their husbands
They dance alone They dance alone

Little Brown Vial of Heathy Goodness

So, my brother was here for about a week, which included us going out quite a bit and being up until the wee hours of the morning watching jazz, flamenco, wine-tasting, tapeando (eating tapas), and hanging out with friends. It was definitely a fun time, but it left my immune system a bit spent and now I have something that seems like the flu, strep throat, something like that. And, while I was excited to have my mornings back to normal to return to a normal running schedule, instead I am exhausted, achy and lethargic.

So, today went to the the health food store / natural pharmacy a few blocks away to get what seems to me to be a "magic" and miracle potion to get my immune system back to normal. It all began last year when I found myself with the flu on and off for weeks (and instead of getting better it kept getting worse and returning with a horrible vengeance). After a few days of not getting better with huge quantities of orange juice, soup, water, sleep, vitamin C, and echanacea/goldenseal, I went to the doctor who proceeded to tell me that I had faranguitis/phranguitis (which by the way sounds horrible, even if i do know what the faranguis are (i can't remember the name in english, but they are in your throat; it sounds really bad, which since I felt horrible, actually made me feel a bit better - that it wasn't all just in my head). So he gave me an antibiotic, told me to take 1 gram of basically Tylenol (which by the way is a TON of pain killer and left me a bit in the clouds), gave me some horrible sounding syrup (it had something about phlegm in the name, gross), and sent me on my way. So, I took the medicine, minus the pain killer and it went away. Despite eating extra amounts of yogurt it left me with a yeast infection (sorry for the gross details). After getting rid of that, a few days later the whole cycle started over and then one more time. Normally I take the natural option of herbs, vitamins and just wading it out, but since it seemed like something more serious I had gone to the doctor not wanting it to get worse. Yet that didn't work. So, I then went in search of a health food store that might be able to "prescribe" something to boost my immune system and wipe out this sickness.

So I entered a health food store that said "natural medicine" on the outside. I explained the problem and the pharmacist told me that what I needed was vials of minerals (including gold, silver, and copper), bee propolis and herbs plus capsules of a mix of mushrooms. Now I know a decent amount about health food. (I worked at a health food store the last two years in high school and summers and holidays throughout college. I had planned to get both my MD and some sort of natural medicine degree, so through high school and college I read fairly extensively about vitamins, herbs, etc.,) Yet when I asked this woman what was in these secret vials that would cure my sickness, I didn't get a response that was very helpful. I was a bit leery (I mean there were 20 vials I was supposed to take, plus the somewhat strange sounding list of ingredients, and the fact that the woman was abnormally tan, bleach blond, and had excessive amounts of makeup didn't help), but I also was a bit desperate at this point, so I paid the 20 Euros for the vials and went on my way.

A couple of days later I felt completely back to normal. I took the box of vials she gave me and one more to make sure it was knocked out. From then on whenever I have gotten sick I go to this lady who gives me a box of seemingly magical vials of gold and silver, I take them and almost immediately am cured. Really. And with no strange side effects. I really don't understand, but since it's natural it's what I've begun to do. I mean it really seems magical. Within a day or so of taking this magical concoction I feel back to normal. So today I went, got my magical medicine and am beginning to feel much better.

I just got these e-mails in the midst of thinking about Faith, God's Greatness, His Forgiveness, etc. They really are profound truths. Enjoy! Disfrutad! I think that even if you don't understand the Spanish that you can at least get the reference to look them up. Basically the books below (Génesis = Genesis, Mateo = Matthew, etc., ) look more the less the same in Spanish as English minus Salmo, which is the Psalms. (Actually I just added the English because if you are like me, you may not take the time to look them all up. Disfrutad! Enjoy!)

---

God is with us (DIOS ESTÁ CON NOSOTROS)

"And the LORD appeared to him the same night and said, 'I am the Go d of Abraham your father. Fear not, for I am with you and will bless you...'" - Genesis 26:24

("... Yo soy el Dios de Abraham tu padre; no temas, porque yo estoy contigo..." - Génesis 26:24)

"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." - Deuteronomy 31:8

("Y Jehová va delante de ti; Él estará contigo, no te dejará, ni te desamparará; no temas ni te intimides." - Deuteronomio 31:8)

"If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!" - Psalm 139:8

("Si subiere a los cielos, allí estás tu; y si en el seol hiciere mi estrado, he aquí, allí tu estás." - Salmo 139:8)

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you." - Isaiah 43:2

("Cuando pases por las aguas, yo estaré contigo; y si por los ríos, no te anegarán." - Isaias 43:2)

"... And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

("...y he aquí yo estoy con vosotros todos los días, hasta el fin del mundo." - Mateo 28:20)

---

The Holiness of God (LA SANTIDAD DE DIOS)

"There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God." 1 Samuel 2:2

("No hay Santo como Jehová; Porque no hay ninguno fuera de ti, Y no hay refugio como el Dios nuestro." 1ª Samuel 2:2

"Exalt the LORD our God; worship [bow down] at his footstool [before him]! Holy is he!" Psalm 99:5

("Exaltad a Jehová nuestro Dios, Y postraos ante el estrado de sus pies; Él es Santo." Salmo 99:5)

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" Isaiah 6:3

("Santo, Santo, Santo, Jehová de los ejércitos; toda la tierra está llena de su gloria." Isaias 6:3)

"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness." Psalm 29:2

(" Dad a Jehová la gloria debida a su nombre; Adorad a Jehová en la hermosura de la santidad." Salmo 29:2)

---

The Greatness of God (LA GRANDEZA DE DIOS)

"For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God." - Psalm 86:10

("Porque Tu eres grande, y hacedor de maravillas; Solo Tú eres Dios" - Salmo 86:10)

"O Lord GOD, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your mighty hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as yours?" - Deuteronomy 3:24

("Señor, Tú has comenzado a mostrar a tu siervo tu grandeza, y tu mano poderosa; porque ¿qué dios hay en el cielo ni en la tierra que haga obras y proezas como las tuyas?" - Deuteronomio 3:24)

"Therefore you are great, O LORD God. For there is none like you, and there is no God besides you..." - 2 Samuel 7:22

("Por tanto, Tú te has engrandecido, Jehová Dioss; por cuanto no hay como Tú, ni hay Dios fuera de ti..." - 2ª de Samuel 7:22)

---

Only God Satisfies (SOLO DIOS SATISFACE)

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Phillippians 4:7

("Y la paz de Dios, que sobre pasa todo entendimiento, guardará vuestros corazones y vuestros pensamientos en Cristo Jesús." - Filipenses 4:7)

"and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." - Colossians 2:10

("y vosotros estáis completos en Él, que es la cabeza de todo principado y potestad." - Colosenses 2:10)

"Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. LEad me in your truth and teach me, for you are the GOd of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long." - Psalm 25:4,5

("Muéstrame, oh Jehová, tus caminos; enséñame tus sendas. Encamíname en tu verdad, y enséñame, Porque Tú eres el Dios de mi salvación; En ti he esperado todo el día." - Salmo 25:4,5)

Some Good Reads

Okay, this really is the last post of the night, as I should really get some sleep.

First, here are some GREAT books you should read that have helped me think more about the world and about issues of justice and humanity:

There is No Me Without You - Melissa Fay Greene (about Ethiopia, specifically the huge number of orphans & the AIDS epidemic and about a woman (and others) who have given their lives to take care for these kids)

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossini (while a bestseller and now coming out as a movie, it is also a great book about Afghanistan & two boys growing up. definitely one of my favorite books of the year!)









And here are a couple of movies in the same vain (both are violent and definitely intense, but very good):

Blood Diamonds (if I remember right, it takes place in Sierra Leone; while Leonardo Di Caprio is in this movie, he plays a very different role before and in my opinion is the best role he has played - I'm generally not a fan of his and in fact wasn't going to see the movie because of that)

Innocent Voices (takes place in El Salvador during a war, showing child soldiers, which apparently is much more common than i'd like to believe in some of the more impoverished parts of the world) (http://www.innocentvoicesmovie.com/)

Noche Vieja (New Year's Eve) in Barcelona

This New Year's Eve was a bit different than normal. One, because I was in Barcelona. And, two, because of what we did. Generally, I have spent my New Year's Eves in Spain either at a party somewhere or in Puerta del Sol (Spain's equivalent to Times Square) and then out with friends (or last year sick in bed).

A few months ago when I was talking with Marc and Eva, the friends I would spend New Year's with, we talked about going to a beach town up the coast from Barcelona and having a little party with friends, about a few other options, and then somehow we began to talk about throwing a New Year's Eve party for the gente sin techo (the homeless people of Barcelona). And that is where we landed. After Eva talked to some of the people she knew, instead of inviting them to come somewhere (which seemed a bit improbable that they would actually come) we decided to make something better than our normal bocadillos (sandwiches). So we started the 31st at the grocery store where unlike the normal people who purchased cava/champagne, fancy pastries, some fancier foods, chocolates... we left with the makings for some noodles with broth and meatballs, san jacobo (a more simple version of cordon bleu), rice, fruit salad (aka macedonia), some individually wrapped bonbons, café con leche (coffee and milk) and all the plastic & paperware to go with it. With the help of another Eva and her mom we cooked, filled thermoses, packed little gladware packs, and set off for Plaça de Catalunya. People had also brought by some clothes, sleeping bags, and such to take as well.

So we set out. We started going down to the metro where Eva and the Existe Más Mundo folks of BCN know people. We stayed there a while and chatted it up with Eva's friends while they ate. Based on what they had we asked if they wanted some of the clothes/ sleeping bags that we had (such as for one of the women who was pregnant) and that we'd come back after we finished giving out the food.

We then went to the Renfe (train) station where there were a plethora of people. There was a guy from Peru, several men from Africa, from Morocco, other parts of South America, an older woman from Catalunya (the region of Spain in which Barcelona is situated), and several other places. We talked awhile to them and I felt a bit helpless as I talked to the older woman. Somehow more than anyone else, it breaks my heart to see elderly people who live on the street. I then talked to man from Kuwait who was living in Holland prior to coming to Spain, who knew near to no Spanish nor Catalan, who's passport and money had been stolen and who was stuck trying to find work and a way home. He talked about coming from a very wealthy family and it seemed really needed someone to talk with (and someone who spoke english). He was ashamed to be living on the street and more than anything else I just tried to listen and to help him think through some realistic options of getting back on his feet. Do pray for them. Our purpose for being there was primarily to show them that someone cares and do what we could. There are shelters and agencies both in Madrid and Barcelona which are more equipped to help them more substantially.

We were now out of food and, as we headed back to the car, we realized they had closed the metro stop we had been at previously due to New Year's Eve festivities. We tried to make our way down anyway or to find our friends in the crowd, but to no avail. Since we had yet to eat and it was nearing 11 pm (not really that late of a dinner for here - generally we eat at 9 or 10) and since we had none of the food remaining, we went to look for something to eat. Being Noche Vieja the menu of the night at nearly everywhere cost between 60 and 90 Euros (roughly $80-130, and I'm sure they went up from there). We walked around awhile, joked about buying a cooked turkey available for carryout for a mere 140 Euros, and finally stumbled upon a place called "Sandwhich & Friends." They had sandwiches, salads and wraps for 5-7 Euros. More what we were looking for this night. We waited in the queue for awhile and then enjoyed our food and company. The clock struck twelve and the camarreros (the waiters) and the other patrons began to make the rounds from to wish everyone a "Feliz Año" (or whatever the equivalent is in Catalán) along with besitos (two kisses). It was fun.

We went from there in search of the fireworks and festivities, but seemed to always be going the wrong direction (even though I was with people from Barcelona, who had lived their whole lives there - a bit comical). We came upon this sweet old 75 year old woman, who also lived on the street. We didn't have anything to give her at this point, but stopped to talk for awhile. She was Spanish, from La Coruña, so we talked about the great food of her region (Galicia), the beautiful views, about our lives, life and death, God, the church... She said that she always found a well lit street to spend the night on a park bench. She doesn't sleep at night because it isn't safe, but waits until the sun comes up (which is when there is a shelter she can spend the day at, get a shower, get something to eat, and relax a bit). From there we went home and while exhausted, talked for a bit longer. It was a good night. Hopefully, the Lord used our little bits of food, words, hot soup, coffee, and company to minister to these people and to give them some of the ánimo they need to take steps forward. Additionally, I know that he used it in my life to help me to think more and pray more for these people who live right around the corner from where I live (or people like them).

New Year's Resolutions

So, as we were sitting in "Sandwiches & Friends" (that was really the name) in Barcelona and as the clock began to near midnight, someone at our table asked what our wish for the New Year was. At first, to be honest, I thought it was a cheesy question, but in hindsight it got me thinking and for one of the few years I actually have a few "new year's resolutions" (Since I greatly dislike both clichés and cheesiness, I don't like to dub them "new year's resolutions." But since that is what they are, I leave the title.) and noche vieja (new year's eve) wishes.

(1) To really build a campus ministry that is self-sustaining, healthy, growing, and that really is reflecting Jesus to the campuses, students, and broader city of Madrid. (In process)

(2) To get back into good running shape so that I can run another marathon this year (and improve my time - i'd love to do it in the 3 hours that a friend did). It kind of goes without saying, but with this to run pretty much daily. (Also in process)

(3) Hmm... I know I had a third one, but can't think of it right now. Not a good sign... Okay, just found the list. There are several others...

(3) To grow in compassion, in prayer, in sharing my faith, and in loving people

and the "others" are more specifics on the above 3, more or less. (And a silly, but helpful one, is to try to read one book at a time, so I actually finish them, instead of the 4-10 I have been trying to read simultaneously, sometimes successfully and sometimes getting halfway through all of them and finishing near to none of them.)

Randomness & Blogging

So it seems like I'm kind of going to town on the blogging tonight. I've had a kind of intense evening, so it's nice to just type about nothingness or at least light subjects. I can't promise that I will keep this up, but for tonight you have some of my random thoughts.

Okay, while I am up and wide awake (despite it now being 2:31 am, and yes I do have to get up at a decent hour in the morning) I might as well write at least 2 more little posts -- New Year's Resolutions, how I spent my New Year's Eve and maybe after that some more serious thoughts about my life these days.

I love Madrid!

Okay, so today I was walking home from where I switch from the bus to metro on the way home from church. It drops me off at Avenida de América, right by where I used to live. I haven't walked home from there in awhile, but felt like venturing through the ritzy part of time (which has gorgeous architecture, fun shops to peak into, plenty of people, and just familiar madrid sites).

As I was walking, I was reminded of some of the things I love about this city. Incredible café solo (espresso) or a nice cappichino con soja (soy cappichino) - both of which I had at some point today... People who just stroll down the street on Sundays or in the Evenings... Beautifully blue skies... Great and clean (except for the recent cleaning strike) public transportation... Free books that come with the Sunday paper (today's was about JFK thanks to El Mundo)... Plaza de Colón (aka Columbus Square) - a square close to where I live and close to where I catch the train to go to the outlying pueblos/towns... Amazing Architecture that never seems to end - I nearly always find at least something I've never noticed before... Great balconies & rod iron benches on the street... Great tile sidewalks... Cute kids decked out to just walk around town... Running up and down stairs (in the metro mainly and even though I really am not in a hurry -- secretly (but of course without them knowing) I just like to beat everyone else)... Did I say the architecture? (which somehow makes me want to sketch)... The great places to run around Madrid (besides the metro) - the park by my house, Retiro Park (the Central Park of Madrid)... I could go on... but will stop there for now :-)

"BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND..."

Gosh... I wish I actually lived according to that quote. I really do, but as was evidenced tonight, I am very much still in process and learning to be just fine with who I am and how I feel.

Love...

"Love Is Not Against The Law" - Derek Webb

politics or love
can make you blind or make you see
make you a slave or make you free
but only one does it all

and it’s giving up your life
for the ones you hate the most
it’s giving them your gown
when they'’ve taken your clothes

it’s learning to admit
when you’'ve had a hand in setting them up
in knocking them down

(chorus)
love is not against the law
love is not against the law

are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend

‘cause you cannot choose your friends
but you choose your enemies
and what if they were one
one and the same

could you find a way
to love them both the same
to give them your name

(chorus)

I've been thinking a lot about what Love is and what it is not. I can't say that I've got it figured out, but it's something I've been thinking about. For instance, Love is not passive. It doesn't just put up with whatever nor let someone do that which will hurt them, for fear of coming across the wrong way, or fear of rejection. Love has no fear. Love is bold. Love speaks truth and is good.

Love is patient and kind and chooses to see the best in people, but is also not naive. It is not oblivious to the cost of loving, nor is it unwise. Love sets boundaries and at times chooses to love even though it is the harder, more risky, more dangerous road. Love is active. Love does not stand idlely by while another suffers. Love doesn't settle. Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Yet love is not just a fairy-tale feeling that is based merely in hope. Love has foundation. Love never fails because there is One created love and sustains love. He is love.

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or pride or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT)

"love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear... We love each other as a result of his loving us first." (1 John 4:18,19)

Poverty, Injustice, Apartheid,...

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about injustice in the world. Over the past few weeks I've been talking with some other staff about creating a community of students focused on looking beyond themselves to the needs around them, looking to the fact that more world exists beside them. The first step is just finding like-minded students and then beginning to create a community where we ask the question of "what kind of fingerprint am I leaving on the world?" and "how can I both individually and in this community leave a mark?" We want to have projects both for the students in this community persay, but also for the campus as a whole. That's the simple version of where we're going with that...

But going back to what I've been thinking about... injustice, how the world is somehow not the way it should be, something is horribly wrong and horribly broken. Not too long ago I watched "Hotel Rwanda" again and was reminded of the tragedies that not only occurred there, but which occur everyday around the world - maybe not in my backyard, but still in the world in which I live. Monday, I went with the group from campus to give out sandwiches to the homeless downtown and to talk to them, valuing their existence and being. I talked to a woman from Romania who can't get a job because she doesn't have papers to be here. I talked to a man who seems perfectly content, wandering from place to place. He seemed very well educated and read, but lives on the streets. Then we ran into a group of guys that are nearly always in the same place, who are fun to talk with and who I really never know what they say is true and what they say is not.

As I walked home, I was reminded of a woman I met on Sunday morning, as I walked from the metro on the way to church. She asked for money or for something to eat, so I bought her a ham & cheese sandwich and a coke - that's what she said she wanted. We talked for a bit. She said her name was Rosa and that she is from NW Spain, has a baby, doesn't feel like she can go home, probably some other things have happened, and is having trouble finding work. I know I've given food to her before, but it was the first time we talked for very much time. I asked her if there was anything specific I could pray for her and she said for a job. She didn't seem to be without hope, just in a hard situation. I can remember seeing her for at least the past 6 months on and off. That fact, the fact that most people I see begging on the street are the same people I've seen for at least the past year, if not longer. I've asked some of them whey they are on the street and such, but still don't quite understand the "why" behind it.

I recently was looking at a friend's pictures from South Africa, pictures of an Apartheid museum, which again brought me back to "Hotel Rwanda" and the atrocities that occur around the world. Sometimes our discrimination has to do with race, sometimes with class, sometimes with other things, sometimes it seems more "sophisticated" but it always seems there to some degree. Why are we so quick to put ourselves above another? Why are we so quick to take care of ourselves and pay no attention to those around the corner? Why are we so quick to judge? so quick to hate? so quick to hurt one another? I say "we" because as much as I might like to think that I can be excluded, I know that isn't true.

Jesus talked about what goes on in our head, hurtful thoughts, hurtful words being like little murders. (Matthew 5.21-22) He talked again and again about our not judging one another because we really have the very thing we see in another in our own heart. I want to love as Jesus loved, and at times I do, yet I need him to change me from within or I am not much better than the people who commit the atrocities I see. Maybe I wouldn't do it actively, but by passively doing nothing I in a sense condone the same thing.

This morning I listened to a sermon from my pastor at home. His sermons really are like honey to my soul. He talked about in Acts 2, when the people heard about Jesus and were "cut to the heart." He talked about this phrase "cut to the heart." They were affected in a way that they encountered God. They saw the God of justice and truth, the God of love and hope. They saw him and saw that their lives didn't match up, that they were in a messed up, drastically broken world and that they were part of the mess. Yet they also saw the one who would make things right, the One who is just and good and true. While the world is broken and I need to be part of the change, some of that change can only begin within each of us. And, while that makes it seem even more impossible, particularly when I think of how far I still have to go, I also see the One who gives me hope and the One who makes it possible for the impossible to take place, the impossible to take place in me, but also in those around me. I have a lot more to say about all of this and hopefully will, but for now let me just write some of the HOPE that I do find, not in our messed up world, nor in myself, but in the One who made us and the One who redeems us...

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end." (Isaiah 9:6-7)

"The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him - the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of power, the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord - and he will delight in the fear of the Lord. He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth... Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist. The wolf will live with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the goat, and the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them... The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea." (Isaiah 11:2-9)

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread,a nd your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare... Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near... You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands..." (Isaiah 55)

Faith - Fe

"Tener fe es tener la plena seguirdad de recibir aquello que se espera; es estar convencido de la realidad de cosas que no vemos. Nuestros antepasados fueron aprobados por Dios porque tuvieron fe.

Por fe sabemos que Dios formó el universo mediante su palabra, de modo que lo que ahora vemos fue hecho de cosas que no eran visibles." (Hebreos 11:1-3, Dios Habla Hoy)

So... this year is for sure turning out to be harder than I expected. Somehow, I'm not surprised. And... it's affecting me more than I had hoped. BUT with that said, I'm finding that the Lord is teaching me a lot about what it means to walk by faith. Surprise, surprise. :-) After going to the evening service at a church that is just a 10 minute walk from my apartment, I put on "The Holiday" and began to read part of Ney Bailey´s book, "Faith is Not a Feeling" (which by the way is a great book). I've read most of it before, but it was timely for now. In chapter 8, which is where I began, she recounts a conversation she had once with a counseling friend. Let me quote a little bit of it:

"One day his secretary, Carol, was telling him about all the difficult circumstances she was facing. When she finished, Don said, 'Carol, what you have just told me is not unusual. Seventy-five percent of life is made up of struggles, concerns, frustrations, and trials. That 75 percent will always be with you. You need to let that 75 percent be characterized not by unbelief but by faith, by believing God and hoping in Him.'"

Ney then talks about what she does in her difficult circumstances. (As a side note, forgive my horrendous spelling, which despite being almost entirely in english is a bit of a spanglish mess.) She says divides a sheet of paper into 4 quadrants, one listing the good, positive things she likes, one listing all the things she dislikes, the third listing her responses and reactions, and then what God might want to teach her and Bible verses to meet her in her need.

Now before continuing on about Ney Bailey's book, let me go back to the church service. In the sermon, the pastor talked about the fact that what is in our heart will come out sooner or later and that often in difficult situations we see things we dislike (or wish weren't there). Instead of excusing them as "not being who we really are," we should see that the Lord wants to bring them out so we'll actually see what is in our heart and allow him to change us.

So... going back to the book, as I read these words, I thought back to the sermon and began to make my list. Most of what I wrote wasn't brand new information about myself, but did shed some light on how I've been dealing with feeling in over my head and a bit alone. It also was encouraging to see what God IS doing in me and to be reminded of what is excited about being in over my head - that He has to be the One to work. It will be obvious that it is Him, not me.

An old college friend was a breath of fresh air the other day as he wrote me and said just that. Sadly, he's one of the few friends who has said that, instead of acting as if I'm insane to still be here. So... walking by faith and not by sight, trusting in God's greatness and that He is bigger than the obstacles I see around me, really trusting God and being courageous to step out in faith.

So, I have a litany of verses I'm going to begin reading and memorizing. But to begin, Joshua 1:9; Hebrews 11:1; and Hebrews 13:5-6 - "I am the one who tells you to be strong and courageous. Do not fear and do not be dismayed, for I, the Lord your God, will be with you wherever you may go." "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the certainty of things unseen." "(God said) 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' Thus we can say with confidence, 'The Lord is my help; I will not fear. What can man do to me?'"