ok go - "end love" & "this too shall pass"

Ok. This is definitely a little silly. But I love it and it makes me laugh or at least smile, so here you go. Some Ok Go. You've gotta love their videos.

more happy, smiley songs

feist - "1234"


regina spektor - "on the radio"


regina spektor - "better"

melancholy songs

beirut - "nantes"


feist - "the park"


over the rhine - "ohio"


over the rhine - "i want you to be my love"


feist - "lonely, lonely"

blogging...

Okay. So, yes, I'm going a little nuts tonight in the blogging department. My roommate's grandma died today. I'm am hormonal and sad. And what I usually do Monday night is temporarily suspended until November. I should have gone running or something but instead I'm home blogging, something I haven't really done for awhile. I haven't really had much time to do so. But now... I seem to need to. So, that's what I'm doing. Unless I can't sleep, there probably won't be much more for the next week or so, because Monday night I am actually around, but we'll see...

la fete - beirut

okay... i just learned how to get the embedded codes for youtube videos. i know. slow. :-) and i DID just post this the other day, but it wasn't as accessible to you. and I need to watch it again today. it makes me happy. so, here you go, "forks and knives," or "la fete," which means the party in french, :-) by beirut, who are AMAZING!

Fall in Madrid

Hmm... I just bemoaned all the things I miss from the States about fall, in part because I'm a little down and in part because I just got a package from my mom, just made popcorn, am cold (because it's fall and there's not any heat until Nov), and, yeah.... SO, I'm going to make a list of the things I love about the fall in Madrid and specifically the fall, not the winter or some other season.

I DO love the beginning of the semester and all the excitement of getting things going again and seeing God at work in my life, in the lives of students, etc.,

I LOVE walking around the streets anytime of year, but the fall is nice. I did love Saturday, just two days ago, when I bought some new plants and potted them and had the windows open with the fresh, cool (but not too cool) air.

I do love making popcorn and snuggling under a blanket because it's just a little too cold. I love tea and making apple cider. I love walking through Retiro park any time of year, but the fall and spring are probably some of the best times. I need to do that more often. The fall is nice to run in because it's finally cool enough to wear pants again, really, but just a tank top or t-shirt. And I LOVE to run when it's cool out.

I don't much care for when it rains, but we haven't had much rain this year, at least not yet, nor actually do we usually.

I like that the leaves do change some, at least more than they used to (during the 2 or 3 years of drought). I like that people are around again. Summer vacations have ended, so the city is full again and life is back to normality, back in motion. I DO like fall cleaning and fall changes (or at least some of them).

Well, that's at least the beginning of a list. I do like spring more. And I am still a little down. But that's okay. It's okay for a time.

Beth Bombara on top of the City Museum in STL

(which is one of the funnest places in existence)

fall...

I just made some popcorn (I know I just said that below), but it got me thinking about fall and all the things I miss. Yes, it's fall here too, but somehow this year I feel more nostalgic and am more aware of all the things I miss.

I have always missed the changing leaves. The leaves DO change here, a little, but not like in Missouri, with the brilliant reds and oranges and yellows, with the piles of leaves all over the ground to be raked or jumped into or collected temporarily. I LOVED fall at Mizzou when I was in college. I'd always come back from class with a pile of leaves to put in a basket or something. I LOVED the rainbow of colors and still do... or that's what I miss.

Apple picking, making apple pies from the apples in my parents' backyard,... hayrides, campfires, fall camping trips,.... pumpkins, carving pumpkins, pumpkin pies (and being able to make pumpkin pies from canned pumpkin instead of either having to get someone to ship it or bring it over or making them from sweet potatoes or finding a pumpkin and boiling it),... chili, cornbread,... winter soups (okay, that i do make here. i make a ton of tasty winter & fall soups and do make chili on occasion. it's just not the norm and no one else is making chili.).

So, that is my bemoaning about nothing. Fall is the one season (okay, and maybe winter) that I miss here. They were never my favorite seasons, but I miss the snow, the changing leaves, and probably the trick-or-treaters too. I don't actually have any reason to complain. I live in Spain. You can't really compare with that. Yet this fall I'm melancholy and a little sad, not overly nor excessively just a little. And, if you must know, it has to do with a boy that I'm still getting over. (Which probably helps explain a lot of my emotional-ness as of late.) Somehow it seems like it shouldn't take this long, but it is. So that's why I'm all nostalgic and missing home a little more than normal.

a granola halloween

so... I just made some popcorn and, probably because I'm a little meloncholy and it's fall and getting cold here (primarily just cold enough that it would be nice to have some heat, but the heat doesn't come on until Novemeber unless it gets really cold. it's just the way it is. so we've broken out the space heaters but inevitably it's still cold inside, probably actually colder than outside. anyway, I'm digressing...), it made me think of my mom & Halloween growing up. we always gave out popcorn to trick-or-treaters. it's what we did. I grew up in a super-granola house where we didn't have refined sugar, refined flour, soda, candy, nor anything of the sort. My mom cooked with fruit juice, honey, fructose, brown rice syrup,... I actually LOVED that we gave out popcorn because, having been raised in a super healthy house, I didn't and don't like candy, except for maybe chocolate, dark chocolate. So, we'd spend the afternoon before the trick-or-treaters came popping popcorn and putting it in little baggies. Of course some people thought it was cool and would even ask for an extra bag and others thought it was lame.

My brother, sister and I would go trick-or-treating too and when we came back my mom let us have 2 pieces of candy, I'd give away all my candy except for the chocolate, and we'd put our jack-o-lanterns up in the kitchen on the shelf and have a piece or two over the next few days and then forget about them until next year.

A friend of mine makes fun of me because growing up in a granola house is different. My Easter bunny brought energy bars, nuts, raisins, and carob chips. No chocolate bunnies for me.

bright as yellow

"Bright As Yellow" - Innocence Mission

And you live your life with your arms stretched out.
Eye to eye when speaking.
Enter rooms with great joy shouts,
happy to be meeting.

And bright,
bright,
bright as yellow,
warm as yellow.

And I do not want to be a rose.
I do not wish to be pale pink,
but flower scarlet, flower gold.
And have no thorns to distance me,

but be bright,
bright,
bright as yellow,
warm as yellow.

Even if I'm shouting, even if I'm shouting here
inside.
Even if I'm shouting, do you see that I'm wanting,
that I want to be so
bright,
bright,
bright as yellow,
warm as yellow.

fashion pages

Some fun fashion pages & lookbooks I found recently:

garance doré
who what wear
lookbook.nu

100 days of action

I just saw this here and thought it was curious/interesting.

up in the air

This Thursday in the film night we'll be watching "Up In the Air." I just previewed it and have a bunch of themes and thoughts scribbled down of possible things to talk about/ questions to ask. It's a pretty relaxed environment but always good to have some fodder for the fire, just in case. I'd love any other thoughts you might have about the film, or predominant themes you saw, character analysis, etc., Here's some reviews I found that I found interesting. Oh, and don't read the reviews if you haven't seen the film and don't want to know what happened. Probably an obvious disclaimer, but anyway...:

In English (US)
ny times review #1
ny times review #2
Film Critic.com

In Spanish (Spain)
El País Review #1
El País Review #2
La Off-Off Crítica

My random scribbles:
- "Moverse es vivir"
- "Ir por el mundo con la mochila lo más vacía posible..."
- idea of "home"
- "backpack" - what is worth filling it with, is it better empty? - +/-
- connection vs. isolation
- freedom vs. strings/responsibility/connection
- isolation/solitude vs. responsibility/commitment/things that tie you down
- family, freedom,...
- solitude, worth, isolation,...
- "relationships are the heaviest weights in your backpack..."
- "some animals are made to live in symbiotic relationships... attached to one another... we are not..." (probably somewhat loosely paraphrased)
- "the slower we move, the fast we die... we are sharks..."
- "make no mistake... we all die alone..."
- human connection or the lack there of - ex. of the young girl, clooney, other woman,...
- absence, clooney's disconnection with his family
- "I tell people how to avoid commitment" - bondednes vs isloation
- "welcome home" after he counsels the fiancé of his sister to go through with his marriage
- the lady's solitude - her affair & desire for escape, a parenthesis in her mundane life of commitments (family, marriage,...)
- the irony of clooney's job & what happens with his relationship, allowing himself to feel
- variety of ways of dealing with emotional commitment or lack there of
- similarities & not to "About a Boy"

hmm... am i nuts?

so... i went and got my haircut today. i never like my hair when they cut it, so maybe in a couple days i'll change my mind.

but am i nuts? i went to a place my roommate recommended to me and told him to do whatever. i described what i'd had before, what i might like,... but when he said, "so basically you're letting me do whatever i want." i, of course, said, "basically."

he went to work, chopping away, which felt great and felt a little freeing. somehow recently anything that has to do with change feels great & freeing. somehow afterward i tend to think, "what was i thinking? everything feels like it's changed and is changing." that's why i wanted my hair cut short again. i actually was thinking really short, but anyway i thought, "i might as well leave hair cutting to the experts" since i have no idea. but it is super textured. he went a little nuts and yet i wonder if it's bordering on a she-mullet. okay, maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but i'm not a huge fan. maybe in a few days or a few months. BUT i need to remember in a few months that i like my hair long. i should let it grow out even when it gets to the awkward in between phase it was at before this crazy fiasco. okay... i am definitely over reacting. it is a good haircut, just not what i had hoped for. BUT then i told him to do whatever, so i can't much complain. next time maybe i'll have to make a trip to see my friend carlos (although he lives 2.5 hrs away). it's just hair, anyway! isn't that what they always say. i'll have to play with it a bit and get used to it. :-S hopefully a couple of days will make a world of difference. we'll see what people tonight say. if they like it, i'll feel worlds better. i'm such a dork.

beirut

Ok. Beirut is quickly becoming one of my favorite bands and they have the greatest videos too. Here are just a couple in the order of my preference of them. Enjoy!
video 1 - "knives and forks (la fete)"
video 2 - "nantes"
video 3 - "nantes" in paris

feist

I've been loving listening to Feist tonight and thought I'd post some youtube videos I found. What I love is the honest emotion sometimes mixed with a whimsical happiness of sorts. If that makes any sense. Anyway, here's some of her music. Enjoy!
video 1 - the park
video 2 - lonely, lonely
video 3 - 1234

...learning to walk by faith & to TRUST beyond what my mind understands and beyond what my eyes see...

"I'm learning to walk by faith & to TRUST beyond what my mind understands and my eyes see." That's what I wrote to a friend earlier today and what I was talking through with the Lord this morning. It was a lot more specific than what I just wrote, about specific circumstances in my life now and in the future, but that was the jist of it. I asked the Lord what he wanted me to do and felt like he said, "I want you to TRUST me and to walk by FAITH not by sight." I then thought, "But couldn't this still be a little easier!" Hmm... from there I asked the Lord for strength, peace, quiet trust, and to be still before him, seeing HIS power and strength. I guess if Jesus learned "by suffering," something which I still don't comprehend, but know that's what the Bible says, then I guess it makes sense that I would as well. I can't say that I'd choose this path, but if this is what the Lord, the One I love and trust and know is GOOD and has my best at mind, then I guess this is the way I'll walk.

"In Christ Alone"

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my life, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest droughts and storms

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are still, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground his body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave he rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final death
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from his hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

the Lord's sweetness

Over the past few weeks I have been BLOWN away by the Lord's sweetness and tenderness to me. It may sound odd to say, but he is most definitely the kindest, sweetest, nearest, faithful lover one could ever known. He has held me near and reminded me of what is true about HIM and about ME in the midst of a plenitude of emotional ups and downs...

So... what exactly does that look like? Some of it is probably too personal to post here. And some of it seems inappropriate to share because it is too specific to the situation. So, I'll probably have to think and post more later. But... here is just some of HIS sweetness...

Oh, how I love him. And yet as I say that I must say it has soooo very little to do with me and so much more to do with Him and His pursuit and consistency and oh so present love and tenderness.

It may be cheesy, but here's a song that just came to mind in respect to all of this:

"//He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane.
I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

When all of a sudden
I am aware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How he loves us, oh//

//Yeah he loves us,
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how he loves us
Whoa, how he loves.//

We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption
By the grace in his eyes
And if grace is an ocean
We're all sinking

So heaven meets earth
Like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently
Inside of my chest

And I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about how he loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how he loves us
Whoa, how he loves.

He loves us,
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how he loves us
Whoa, how he loves."

Lists

So, somehow I hate just pitching the lists of movies I've watched, music I was listening to, books I've read,... So I just went back through the sidebar and while I did delete the books without thinking here are some bands I was listening to more before (not to say now i dislike them, i just haven't listened to them much as of late), or had discovered and thought were cool, and films I've watch probably the first half of the year. The lists are updated as of the past couple months (ie summer).

Music Finds & List
- Tune Yards
- Alabanza Misión Posible
- Assemble - my brother
- Marta Gomez
- Waterdeep
- Village Thrift
- Chris Tomlin
- Innocence Mission
- Ray LaMontagne
- Corinne Bailey Rae

Films
- Pollock
- Hurt Locker (En Tierra Hostíl)
- Okuribito (Despedidas) - Japanese
- Contact
- Big Fish
- A River Runs Through It
- Dead Poets' Society
- Invictus
- The Hedgehog (El Erizo) - French
- Bride & Prejudice
- Water
- The Namesake
- The Reader
- Avatar
- The Boys Are Back
- Whip It!
- Paper Heart
- In America
- Cold Souls
- The Class (french)
- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le Scaphandre et le Papillon - French)
- The Orphanage (El Orfanato - Spanish)
- Doubt
- Dancer in the Dark
- Into the Wild
- Elephant
- The Mission
- Sunshine Cleaning
- Sin Nombre
- The Journey of the Red Ballon (Le Voyage du Ballon Rouge - French)
- American History X
- Julia & Julia
- Thin Red Line
- Pleasantville
- No Country For Old Men
- I Love You, New York
- The Secret Life of Bees
- District 9
- Where The Wild Things Are
- Almost Famous
- Dogville
- Up
- High Fidelity
- There Will Be Blood
- The Squid and the Whale
- Smart People
- Precious
- Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist