"Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, they will raise up the former devestations; and they will repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations." Isaiah 61.4

"we used to wait..."

Waiting... Hoping... Impatience... Surrender... Waiting... Hoping... Waiting... Hoping... Joy In Waiting... Peace in Waiting... Impatiently Waiting... Surrender... Hopefully & Expectantly Waiting.... Waiting

Be Still, and Know That I Am God

It's been nice to rest a bit this morning and to regain some much needed perspective. I am beginning to love Mondays! Well, here is some of what I read this morning (and part of what I intend to read later):

"God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolation on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah" -- Psalm 46

---
(from the Daily Office)
Morning Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Opening sentences

One thing I have asked of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to behold the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.

Call & Response

Who is it that you seek? We seek the Lord our God.
Do you seek Him with all your heart? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your soul? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your mind? Amen. Lord, have mercy.
Do you seek Him with all your strength? Amen. Christ, have mercy.

Declaration of faith

To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.

Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ, King of endless glory.


Scripture readings, Meditation, Prayers for others


Canticle

Christ, as a light illumine and guide me.
Christ, as a shield overshadow me.
Christ under me; Christ over me;
Christ beside me on my left and my right.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Christ as a light; Christ as a shield;
Christ beside me on my left and my right.

Blessing

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
---

Midday Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Opening Sentences

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us. Establish Thou the work of our hands; establish Thou the work of our hands.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen

Declaration of faith

We believe and trust in God the Father Almighty.
We believe and trust in Jesus Christ His Son.
We believe and trust in the Holy Spirit.
We believe and trust in the Three in One.

Canticle

Teach us, dear Lord, to number our days;that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Oh, satisfy us early with Thy mercy,that we may rejoice and be glad all of our days. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us; and establish Thou the work of our hands, dear Lord.

Blessing

Let nothing disturb thee,
nothing affright thee;
all things are passing,
God never changeth!
Patient endurance
attaineth to all things;
who God possesseth
in nothing is wanting;
alone God sufficeth.

In the name of the Father,and of the Son,and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
---

Evening Prayer

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Opening sentences

My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.

Call & Response

Out of the depths I have cried to You. O Lord, hear my voice.
With my whole heart I want to praise You. O Lord, hear my voice.
If you, Lord, should mark iniquities: Who could stand? who could stand?

I will wait for the Lord. My soul waits, and in His word do I hope.

Expressions of faith

Lord, You have always given bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak, today I believe.

Lord, You have always given peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart, today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am, today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden, today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here, today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now, today I believe.

Scripture readings, Meditation, Prayers for others

Canticle

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

The Lord is my light, my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the refuge of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

One thing I ask of the Lord, one thing I seek;
to dwell in the presence of my God, to gaze on Your holy place.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

I believe I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. O wait for the Lord! Have courage and wait, wait for the Lord.

In the shadow of Your wings I will sing Your praises, O Lord.

Blessing

See that ye be at peace among yourselves, my children, and love one another. Follow the example of good men of old and God will comfort you and help you, both in this world and in the world which is to come.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

some reflections from paris

paris was amazing on several planes. but some of the biggest blessings of being in paris was having good time with a friend and having a ton of uninterrupted time to process life, journal, do nothing, wander, and to be still before God.

basically the processing and such began on the plane there. i began to write a letter to a high school girl i met recently who is in the midst of some hard stuff and some hard stuff i can relate to. so a few weeks ago i read in my time with the Lord Psalm 126, which says:

126:1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.

4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb!
5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!
6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

this psalm first made me think of my 13-year old friend and then of myself. and i'd been meaning to actually write her a letter for a couple days when i finally actually did so on the plane to paris. i had an hour and half or so of uninterrupted writing time and it was great!

so, i wrote out the psalm, gave some context, and then told her that i thought the psalm gave a lot of light to both of our situations.

it starts off with the people of Israel (who likely were coming out of a time of captivity in Babylon) remembering back to how God had worked in the past. the imagery is great. it talks about them having felt like they were in a dream. they talk about their mouths being filled with laughter, their tongue filled with shouts of joy. there is no lack of emotion there.

and they talk about others and themselves speaking of the amazing, unbelievable things the Lord had done. it says "we are glad" and yet in the context of the rest of the first three verses it seems like a grave understatement. they are AMAZED, OVERJOYED.

and yet the second half of the psalm, verses 4-6, both shows their present reality, one of weeping, of hard/tough sowing without signs of a harvest, tears, hardship, lack of money and desperate need. and yet, the focus isn't on their circumstances. it's not on their present reality. it's on GOD and is hopeful. but their hope is not on anything they can see. it's in God and in his faithfulness, his graciousness, his answer to their request to move again. they cry out to Him as their only hope to redeem their current reality. they ask with eyes of hope and faith.

so... yeah, that's the jist of what's there, but as i wrote this letter, i challenged my young friend to do the same: to remember what God had done in the past, how He had revealed Himself and His character to her, times where He had AMAZED her, times where she felt she was in a dream. and then from there to look at her present reality, at what she feared, at the hardness, but then what exactly she needed to ask and trust God to do. what might it look for God to show up in the dark circumstance in which she found herself. and why could she trust Him? what evidence did she have that He was faithful, trustworthy, powerful, compassionate, etc.,?

I challenged her to do this and told her I would do the same, which made me actually do it. So over the next few days I wrote out the past 15 years more or less with the highs and lows, both asking God to remind me of who He is and how He's worked in those highs and lows, but also to show me where I had unhealed wounds that were causing me to fear, to believe things that are untrue about myself, God, circumstances, etc., of which I need to repent and ask forgiveness, and/or where I need God's healing touch. And God did precisely that. I didn't actually make it all the way up to today (and would like at some point to finish), but do think God helped me to identify some things - both wounds and also to see that even in the times I remember back as hard/difficult times, God did some AMAZING and UNBELIEVABLE things. And all this has brought me back into my present situation (or more thinking to some unknowns and possible difficult things in the future) with a completely new perspective and with much more clear vision to HOPE in the midst of darkness and to SEE God instead of all the things around me that can cause me to fear or despair.

I may write more later, but figured I'd at least share this. And since then I've more or less felt like I was on cloud nine. By no means is everything perfect, but somehow my perspective is much more optimistic and happy because I've been reminded of the fact that my hope and peace are secure, immovable,... (there are many more adjectives in 1 Peter 1 to describe it).

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:3-9)

haiti

Here are a couple pictures, but you can find more here at the BBC:

Surely you've heard about the tragic earthquake in Haiti the night before last. As I walked the beautiful streets of Paris, I was struck by our desperate need to be rescued from this world from it's tragedy, death, and hurt. This is a much more in-your-face bit of reality of the fact that we don't live in a world that is as it should be. A children's hospital was destroyed in the disaster, the poorest of the poor were killed as well, people going about their daily business whatever that may be will never awake to see another day,... dark, dark death. While this is much more clear, I think the reality in which each of us lives on a daily basis, sometimes more clearly than others, is full of the walking dead. Somehow I want my heart to be quickened to see the needs of those in my midst and to also continue to have real hope of a world without death, tragedy, injustice, or hurt, a world where all things are made right. As I was processing life, I was again reminded that this world that I long for does in fact exist and that it will come to pass. While we live in a broken world, dreadfully broken on all levels, that merely points to my need for one greater than me. And I think it also calls us to action, to be light in a broken world and to really be the hands and feet of hope and light. We may be far removed from Haiti, but, one, we still can do an awful lot for them and, two, there are people in need just around the corner from us. It's a bit sobering...

Hope

Today, Christmas Eve, I am both reminded of God's goodness and my desperate need for him. I am doing well and yet my roommmate, who is a bit sad today, basically the same as me two days ago, reminded of my desperate need for Jesus to redeem me and to give me life and peace, now just as much as ever.

I am thankful that Jesus came and dwelt among us. I am thankful that He is the Price of Peace and Lord of Lords. Today I learned a friend is in the process of a divorce, after only a year of marriage, and obviously both feels very broken and a bit distraught. She needs to be reminded of the hope of the world this Christmas, as do I. Last night and today I encountered Rosa, a woman who begs on the street by mine. I brought her food so she could have a real Christmas dinner, but it still was a pretty humble offering. I SO wish I could do more, that I could help her to get on her feet, that I could give her a home and a job. All I have to offer her is the hope of Jesus and some food. Honestly it breaks my heart and yet it reminds me of my humble state and my need for Jesus.

So, in light of all of that, here are a couple hymns that came to mind, which have an immense amount of truth in them. Enjoy & MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

"Be still, My soul" - Katharina Von Schlegel, Born 1697

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav'nly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know his love, his heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From all his own fullness all he takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last



"Be Thou My Vision"

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

one life

There's a story I've heard several times and thought I'd post. Apparently it was inspired by the writing of Loren Eiseley, who combined his insights from being both a scientist and a poet.

"Once upon a time, there was a wise man, much like Eiseley himself, who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die." "

But young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves.

"It made a difference for that one!"

His response surprised the man. He was upset. He didn't know how to reply. So instead, he turned away and walked back to the cottage to begin his writings. All day long as he wrote, the image of the young man haunted him. He tried to ignore it, but the vision persisted. Finally, late in the afternoon he realized that he the scientist, he the poet, had missed out on the essential nature of the young man's actions.

Because he realized that what the young man was doing was choosing not to be an observer in the universe and make a difference. He was embarrassed. That night he went to bed troubled. When the morning came he awoke knowing that he had to do something. So he got up, put on his clothes, went to the beach and found the young man. And with him he spent the rest of the morning throwing starfish into the ocean.

You see, what that young man's actions represent is something that is special in each and everyone of us. We have all been gifted with the ability to make a difference. And if we can, like that young man, become aware of that gift, we gain through the strength of our vision the power to shape the future. And that is your challenge. And that is my challenge. We must each find our starfish. And if we throw our stars wisely and well, I have no question that the 21st century is going to be a wonderful place."

I like this story because it emphasizes the value of one life. The past few days I've been speaking at several churches and to several small groups of how the Lord is at work in Spain. It has been good to say and hear again why I am there. The reality there is a little grim if you merely look at the presence, but the reality of the future, that unknown, is hopeful, hopeful because of the God whom I serve and of His heart for individual people, his heart for the world. I know not the details of the next few years, but i am hopeful that He who began a work in me will do the same in many others. He is a God of redemption and a God of peace and hope.

Vision, Hope & Dreams

Part of my job on occasion, actually quite often, is to write a vision plan, to write what I see in a person's life (strengths, giftings, personality & character traits, areas for development & growth, etc.,) and to dream (based on these things and trusting the Lord to work in them) what the Lord could do in them and through them in their next step of life and helping them to develop a Personal Development Plan (a plan of how to grow both in strength areas and areas of weakness). I love doing this. Having just finished writing three of them (consisting of 2-6 pages each) I am energized and ready for them to conquer the world. And it helps me to rejoice in how the Lord has made them and things he may do in and through them in the coming years.

true hope

I'm still studying and here are some more excerpts from my notes. Amazing!!!

At Christ’s Return – Complete Restoration of God’s Image

The amazing promise of the New Testament is that just as we have been like Adam (subject to death and sin), we shall also be like Christ (morally pure, never subject to death again): “Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven” (1 Cor 15:49). The full measure of our creation in the image of God is not seen in the life of Adam who sinned, nor is it seen in our lives now, for we are imperfect. But the New Testament emphasizes that God’s purpose for creating man in his image was completely realized in the person of Jesus Christ. He himself “in the image of God” (2 Cor 4:4 NASB); “He is the image of the invisible God” (Col 1:15).

In Christ we see human likeness to God as it was intended to be, and it should cause us to rejoice that God has predestined us “to be conformed to the image of his son” (Rom 8:29, 1 Cor 15:49): “When he appears we shall be like him” (1 John 3:2).

I so long to be complete and to really be like him.

(from page 445 of Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology)

so, i just found out that a good friend of mine has passed away. i have a mix of emotions, many so mixed that i can't even hardly process them. grief. sadness. anger. empathy. sadness. resign. knowledge of hope and joy, but which are more cerebral than emotional.

cheryl was an amazing woman. and the thing that hits me so hard is that i really don't understand nor like what happened to her over the past couple of years. she was healthy and very active in helping others. she worked at a florist, had two boys, played the piano at church, and just was an amazing lady. that did not change when her body slowly began to stop functioning as a result the effects of parkinson's disease, but very quickly it progressed into her not even being able to talk. debilitating. awful. it pretty much came overnight. and over the course of two years it got worse, and worse, and worse. in fact her father will now bury her. as will her loving husband and two sons (who are now both college aged). it breaks my heart.

and, while i know there is another side to all of this, it is very hard for me to see right now. all i can think of is those she had to leave behind and the grief they will feel over the years to come.

death is a horrible thing. and yet, it happens to all of us, at some time or another.

in moments like this, it seems that my first response is to ask "why?" why did cheryl have to die this way? this horrible and drawn out way? why cheryl, why not someone else (who seemingly deserves it more - horrible thought, right, but i just wish it weren't her)?

and, yet as i continue to process this, i know that this is exactly why Jesus died on the cross. he died to give us life and to break the sting of death. he died so that our physical death wouldn't mean eternal separation from God and all humanity. instead of being the end of all connection and all relationship, it is really the beginning of something marvelous.

now as we mourn over our loss and as we question the "why"s of death and dying, cheryl is with the Lord. she has no more suffering. she has no more tears. she can dance and sing and talk and rejoice. she is not sad. she is not suffering. she is more alive than ever before. hallelujah! praise the Lord!

this does change my perspective and that upon which my eyes are focused. it doesn't take away the sadness, nor the fact that i wish i could take away the pain bruce and the boys feel. but it does remind me that God is in fact Good. and he is in fact in control. this did not happen unbeknownst to him. nor will he be distance from cheryl's family and friends during this time. he will use this too for his glory and to draw them near to him. he will use it for good.

and i am reminded (while still a bit disconnected emotionally) by the fact that my grandpa's death and other extremely hard and times full of wrestling with the Lord have actually been some of the times during which I have grown closest to him and seen more of who he is and of who i am in relationship to him.

so, this is my prayer for bruce and sterling and the boys and all the others that mourn cheryl's death. i pray that they would wrestle with the Lord. i pray that they would ask the hard questions and that they would see the Lord respond. i pray that they would submit to the Lord and see more of His goodness and graciousness. i pray that HE would be the one who comforts them and that HE would be the one to whom they run to find refuge. i pray that he would use those in their midst to be his hands and feet and voice. and my cheryl dance and sing as she never did before. i pray that this would give them hope as well.

note: interestingly, as i posted this, my itunes switched to a sermon by john piper entitled "prayer - the work of missions." (i just tried to find it online and while i did search for it did not find it. i have no idea where i got it, but know that i downloaded it from somewhere - and i thought from his website. anyway...) it talks about prayer and missions. in light of the topic of death, as i began to listen to the message, i was reminded of the importance of really living life and really living it for things that matter and in a way that glorifies and reflects God. i'm not sure what i want to say, more than that times like this make me reevaluate my life - how i spend my time, what i'm doing with my life, what i invest my time and money and effort in,...